<p>This is an interesting thread for me because I didn't realize the number of kids who don't like even a small number of formal dinners because it (a) takes them away from their immediate circle of friends/comfort zone and/or (b) because they have to help serve. Yikes! Maybe it's just introverts responding who get anxious having to meet new people at dinner, or really lazy people responding who would consider having to wait 3x a year to be too big a burden. Where are all the kids who like getting to know others and don't mind chipping in on the waiting chores? Especially in smaller schools <350, meals are one of the best opportunities for the whole community to come together.</p>
<p>^ I completely agree</p>
<p>I agree with parlabane here, too. I find some of the complaints to be really eye-opening. Our family eats dinner together every night at 7:00. And gasp! we say a blessing! The kids set and clear the table. About twice a month, there is a YOYO night (you're on your own). </p>
<p>Life is full of dinners with people you don't know well. It's a part of your education. It seems that schools that require sit-downs do so understand that you are kids and need to learn more than how to get a 5 on an AP test. I know it seems a touch old fashioned, and something like finishing school, but seriously, it is a very valuable social skill.</p>
<p>How can you not be willing to serve? Are these the same kids who talk up their community service on their applications who complain about having to put food on the table (that they did not prepare), fill a pitcher of tea, and clear away dishes for their FRIENDS?</p>
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really lazy people responding who would consider having to wait 3x a year to be too big a burden
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<p>I really wouldn't mind serving 3x a year if everyone was serving 3x a year...I just found the "random" selection unfair sometimes because while I was doing my part and serving several times, I had friend who didn't have to serve once during their entire four years there. I mean, okay, I was exaggerating about how much I hated it - it wasn't that big of a deal, almost every time at least half the table will help clear. It's just one of those things you don't really like doing - do your kids do chores because they like to do them?</p>
<p>Come on, it's all part of the experience. Right now I would kill to go to a boarding school so stop complaining - "oh man, I'm on a fast track to a top university, I have a million choices for extracurriculars, I have amazing classes, and I'm envied by the 80% of my school's applicants that didn't get accepted. But, gosh darn it, I have to wait on tables three times a year when some of my friends only have to do it TWICE? What is this, some kind of sick joke?"</p>
<p>If I weren't on a civilized prep school forum, I'd probably tell you to get over yourself. Whoops, I just did!</p>
<p>No, they don't do chores because they like to. They do it because it is what is expected when a group of people live together. My goodness, if they ever complained about something as trivial as going to the kitchen to get more bread or clearing away my dishes within my earshot, they would get mommy-guilt that would require years of therapy to undo :)</p>
<p>Oookay it's called being a teenager that complains to friends. It's not like I'm running off to the faculty going "omg it's so unfair, you're making me go get more bread, how dare you!" It was more of between friends, a "hey I hate doing chores, let's complain to each other about it!". I really didn't have much to complain about at school. </p>
<p>When you get to boarding school, you'll be finding stuff to complain about, too. Everyone has something that they don't like, even if it's just little or insignificant. For me, I didn't really like having to serve. Okay, whatever, I did it, I was expected to, almost everyone did at least once a year, I didn't complain to my table about serving or give somebody a look for asking me to go refill the bread basket. It's called being a teenager, there's always something wrong to complain about, whether it's serving at formal dinner, having to check-in at a time you don't like, having lights out when you don't want to go to bed yet. Jeesh...some people here take things way too seriously.</p>
<p>And trust me, TomTheCat, I'm plenty over myself. I'm not saying I'm too good to serve at formal dinner, I'm saying it's something that I didn't really like to do. I'm sure there's plenty of stuff you don't enjoy doing that you have to do anyway.</p>
<p>Sorry hj. You're right. I'm very far from being a teenager and I find plenty of petty things to ***** and moan about. Point taken.</p>
<p>Fair enough, hj.</p>
<p>As a parent, we REALLY LIKE sit down dinners. The point, is that you get to know more than just "your own friends." And, it is more like a family atmosphere. Some schools we visited have assigned seating some you can sit anywhere, it is simply served family style vs. cafe style. My son's school has both. Lunch is assigned seating that rotates. It's great because you do get to know pretty much everyone at the school. Dinner is sit where you want, but is family style. It is more like home. </p>
<p>By the way, his dining hall, while not the Hill, is VERY MUCH like Harry Potter.</p>
<p>But what if you don't want to sit with anyone other than your friends?</p>
<p>but what if you don't want to sit with anyone other than your friends?</p>
<p>Senay, if you only sit with your friends, you're never going to be able to meet people that could be your friends. Yes, I've said that I hated formal dinners and don't really like sitting with people other than my friends, but it does help you get to know other people at least a little bit - another friendly face to say hello to and perhaps something they say during dinner will strike your interest and you'll realize - oh, hey, that's really cool, maybe I should talk to this person more. It's a little something called leaving your comfort zone, something I hate doing because it's so hard for me, but you can't stay in your little bubble of friends all your life.</p>
<p>well, it's not that im nervous or scared, i just like my friends and only wanna hang out with them</p>
<p>Well, you're not always going to only be able to hang out with your friends. Nothing wrong with hanging out with some other people for once. Leaving your comfort zone, broadening your horizons, whatever you want to call it, it's going to be useful when you no longer only have all your little friends to hang out with. It's pretty close minded to only want to hang out with a certain group of people - sure, I liked hanging out exclusively with my friends, but there were plenty of other people around that were pretty cool, too that I spent some time with.</p>