My younger son a rising sophomore knows exactly what he wants to study and probably what industry he’d like t work in.
My rising senior has no idea really what he wants, but he likes money and wants to make a lot of it, so probable some sort of finance path. He is thinking about Hedge Funds.
I thought I wanted to be a banker growing up. I tried that and it was sheer misery. I took a low end job at computer related firm in the early 90’s which led to me working for an internet company which led me to working for web based start ups. Don’t know how it worked it out, but it did.
I’m confident my kids will figure it all out, even if they don’t figure it out at a young age.
It’s a very fear-based approach to life, to worry that an 18 yo (or a 21 yo or a 25 yo) doesn’t have it all wrapped up with a mapped-out plan to The Final Goal. It’ll happen how it happens.
Yeah from my POV, a career choice at this age generally is a direction. I tell my kids that as you take that path you will see that there are several other paths that branch from it. Trust the direction and you’ll find your way.
In my early 40s I took a couple of years off to try out a different career. I’m back doing what I was doing, but as my own boss instead of working for someone else and I am much happier for it. I had one kid who knew what he wanted to do with his life when he met his first computer program at age seven. The other one is about to launch into what he thinks is his career after trying out a few other things.
Why would that be odd? Some mediocre students may be exposed to a wider and more varied set of career fields at a young age, while some very bright students may not have been exposed to anything that appeals to them. Or they might have such wide interests that they are interested in a lot of things and change their mind many times before they settle on something (for a while).
When I was in third grade I really wanted to be a spy. I wound up as a chemist who also likes to write fiction on the side.
As others have said, when you’re a teenager you may not realize the whole spectrum of careers that are available to you. Doctor, engineer, teacher – but what about epidemiologist? (Sometimes I wish I had studied that!) There’s a wide world of choices out there and no requirement to choose when you’re still a kid.
Some kids want to make up their OWN minds about majors. The don’t want their parents telling them they need to go into medicine, finance, engineering because that’s where the large salaries are.
Right now…my music performance major is working in his field, and is self supporting.
My engineering major is in professional school…and NOT for engineering. She could have majored in music to get,where she is now.
@WorryHurry411 do you think that students should do the major their oarents suggest…and because its lucrative?
@WorryHurry411 I agree about not wanting to pay for aimless wandering. I think there is a difference between aimless wandering versus not having an exact career path figured out yet.
I know a lot of parents who pay for aimless wandering. These parents continue to pay for aimless wandering after graduation. To each his own.
Yes, you don’t want to pay for extra years of college because junior changed his mind and had to start over in a different major, but that doesn’t automatically follow. My D is good at writing and is creative. She wants to do something with that but us not sure what. In fact, those qualities can be used in so many different careers that I’m not worried. She has considered working in tv, advertising, or maybe becoming a novelist (with a day job). I figure that as she goes through school, one path will seem right or more attractive.
I’ve also told her that the way she starts is not the way she has to finish. People do change paths all the time. One thing leads to another and before you know it you’re doing something completely different than what you had originally planned. Life is like that. Frankly, I worry more about the kids who think they know exactly what they want, especially those who choose a college based on their specialized expected major. We see that all the time here on cc. What happens to those kids when they change their minds?
We separate passions from competencies. We advise the kids to focus on what they are good at, and get better at it. We also talk about what they want to “do”, not what they want to “be”. Both H and I have had marvelously circuitous paths to success, so we know there isn’t one choice or one straight line to doing what gives you satisfaction and success.
Just need to stop and give kudos to @me29034 for the JRR Tolkien reference. Well done.
As I mentioned up the thread I was one of those kids who kind of pointed one way from the get go. No real idea why. Never knew any lawyers, no one in my family ever pushed me that way. I doubt seriously that my parents thought I would go to college at all. My wife on the other hand was somewhat rudderless and sort of floated through undergrad (or so she says). She didn’t really know what she wanted to do until she returned from a stint in the Peace Corps. At that point she went back to grad school and basically started an entirely new educational path.
While I agree that no one wants to pay for extra years of schooling while junior or juniorette find themselves, I am sure we all know kids who went to school to major in pre med or pre law and then two years later are working on degrees in journalism or geology with no intention of going to med or law school. Like with most things in life and very few on these boards, the best path lies somewhere in the middle I think. I strongly agree with the posts about helping kids find and stick with a direction, and then letting them fill in the blanks as they learn more about their areas of interest. We are trying to do that in our family, and it is interesting to see how the ideas for careers kind of change over time, but stay sort of anchored to one central theme.
I think it’s ludricrous that an 18 year old is expected to know what he or she wants and that we call it immaturity when the student doesn’t yet know. No one that young has had the life experience to know everything that’s out there in terms of careers or fields of study. This is why I think going to a college or university with a lot of distribution requirements is a great idea. These give the kid a chance to explore a bunch of different things before landing on one. And even kids who are certain they want to study biology or history or engineering can benefit from taking a few courses outside their field.
I am the type who could be interested in a lot of different fields - I just happened to fall into a first job that I really liked and stuck with that trajectory. I’m sure I would have or could have been equally happy in any number of industries. To some extent, this one-job focus is kind of like one dream school - it makes happiness external versus internal.
Worryhurry, why do you equate “don’t know what to do” with aimless wandering?
As a practical matter, an undecided student choosing a college needs to consider the following, in addition to the usual criteria like affordability and such:
Does the college offer all of the possible academic programs and majors of interest?
Is it easy or difficult to enter or change to any of those possible academic programs and majors of interest?
This: “No one that young has had the life experience to know everything that’s out there in terms of careers or fields of study. This is why I think going to a college or university with a lot of distribution requirements is a great idea.”
I wanted to major in pharmacy because my dad had a pharmacy. He insisted that I go to a college with many options and NOT one dedicated to health programs, in case I changed my mind, since my main interests all through HS had been in humanities. I didn’t make past the first semester before changing majors. My son’d BFF’s older sister wanted to study dance-and she was good enough to have made it her profession. Her mom insisted she NOT go to a performing arts school but have a back up traditional major at a school that happened to have a good dance program. She changed her direction too.
I feel for the kids whose parents force them into majors for the sake of ROI. How many kids really know what they want in life at 17 or 18? Not too many, I’d gather.
Let’s also not forget that many jobs are not what they seem to be. I know a couple of people who chose to be vets because they loved animals, only to find that they HATED the job because each of those animals came with a human, and it was the latter who needed to be catered to.
I think it’s best to encourage kids to develop a practice of figuring out what is resonating with them (or not) and why so that they can evaluate opportunities as they come up – both while they are in school and when they are in the workforce. Over a lifetime, any progression of jobs can “make sense” if each incorporated some true element of what that person likes/does well/finds interesting.