<p>Architect, computer programmer, real estate developer, real estate agent, teacher, diplomat, composer, investment banker, author, owner of a company that makes teeth for dentists, administrator at a performing arts center, professor. That's just my family. They all live(d) comfortable middle class lives.</p>
<p>All As forever, and now a B in Physics.</p>
<p>Is this the very first time in all her years of schooling that she did not like a class? And therefore the first time that she "allowed herself" to get a B?</p>
<p>Or could it be that she "doesn't like" Physics because she has to face the novel reality of getting a B in something?</p>
<p>Could she be thinking the same thing about Chemistry?</p>
<p>Laserbrother - I reviewed your prior posts. You need to get off your highly intelligent D's case. Review everyone's past advice to you- mine included. Value her as a person, not a perfect student and she will be free to learn and explore, ending up much further ahead. That said-</p>
<p>I hated science in 8th grade, vowed I would take only the minimum required in HS...took as much HS science as I could, got a college Honors degree in Chemistry, decided in college to go the medical, not research route and became a physician, MY choice (parents did not encourage it, especially knowing family finances, and I'm much too stubborn to take their advice- the HS science was my idea). So much for teenage decisions. I still hate physics, H and S love it so I've learned more about string theory in recent years than I thought I would... A fellow chemistry major went to law school.</p>
<p>Let her make her decisions. She will make mistakes, but she will learn from them and be a much stronger individual than if she meekly follows her father's rule. She is far more likely to be a successful professional as you desire if it comes from inside her, not from your outside, misguided pressure. She is far more likely to become a college dropout the way you are trying to dictate her future. Remember, you chose the US for your family, your D is an American with a great future, but it is HER choice, you have already done your job, now it is time for her to do hers, which involves doing her own thinking, evaluating and decision making. Let go and you may find her valuing your opinion, try to dictate and your views will be rebelled against.</p>
<p>mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.</p>
<p>My 16 year old daughter wanted to be a firefighter * and a * policeman, at the same time for several years.
Never wanted to be a ballerina- hated pink</p>
<p>Ive known more attorneys who have left their profession to do something else than any other career. Not to say that it can't be rewarding for many people, but there is a lot of burnout.</p>
<p>Same with medicine, I know several who are still in the field, but they have tweaked their careers so that they are either doing it part time, or have shifted the focus away from clinical towards something else.
Like teaching- or writing. :)</p>
<p>One couple for example recently celebrated their 25th anniversary and their 50th birthdays. A trial lawyer and a pedatrician.
Except that the trial lawyer has left the court room and is getting his principal credential after spending much time with kids and classrooms over the years and his wife had to leave her clinical practice after health problems and is more of a consultant now.</p>
<p>Which backs up my opinion that college is a place to get a broad based education, because you never know where you will end up 30 years from now, and a broad base will give you much more flexibility & choices than a narrow focus</p>
<p>We love being Philly lawyers right JHS?</p>
<p>Should have signed off as Dana's Dad.</p>
<p>Laserbrother,
I've said this to you before in somewhat more subtle ways, but I'll say it a bit more directly this time. Your daughter is ultimately going to be the one that decides how to live her lifel. As parents, we may be used to telling them what to do and how to do it, but our real role right now is to recognize that soon they will be adults and that we need to give them space and encouragement to find their own direction, not force them into a direction we think is <em>best</em> for them.</p>
<p>We can no more force them to choose a certain career than we can make them stop breathing. Your daughter is obviously a very bright young woman. She will find the right path in life for herself. It may or may not be the path that YOU would pick out for her, but it will be the path that is right for her. </p>
<p>The more you force her towards a pre-determined path, the more she will rebel, in one way or another, and, perhaps, end up angry and resentful. So, my advice, as always: Step back, take a deep breath, and resist the urge to force her to conform to YOUR expectations. From everything you have said about her, she is a great person, and she is going to be fine. Trust her, and let her know that you believe she will find something she truly loves doing, and that you'll be proud of her whatever that something turns out to be, even if - gasp - it's not a doctor, lawyer, banker or engineer.</p>
<p>Laserbrother,</p>
<p>I am a mom of four teenagers. My advice is to let her take the classes she feels are best for her next year and to accept and support her decisions. If you don't you will all be miserable. From other posters who know you from prior threads, it sounds like your D is a good and intelligent kid, who may just be a bit burned out.</p>
<p>From my own experience, my passions as a teen were American history and fashion design. My folks nixed the fashion ("you have a brain") and talked me out of majoring in history ("what will you do with that") and pretty much chose my major of accounting for me. Needless to say, I hated it, but again was a good D and listened to them and worked for 2 years in public accounting to get my CPA. After that, I took out lots of loans, put myself through law school and was pegged as a tax attorney due to the CPA. Hated that, too. My long dormant creative side finally rebelled and I am now the happy owner of an interior design store and business. I don't make nearly as much money as I did as a CPA or attorney, but I am finally content with what I do.</p>
<p>College is a time for kids to explore subjects that they may never again come across. Oldest S is at a very good school with absolutely no idea of what he will major in, but he is enriching his mind. I was extremely impressed at a parents forum that his U hosted when the profs stressed how important it is for the kids to take classes outside of their comfort zone and to explore their unusual passions. It was also very comforting to receive a booklet about alumni who had majored in various subjects and to realize that most of them had fantastic careers which had absolutely nothing to do with their undergraduate major. There are so many more professions (and non-professions) than the four choices you mentioned in your OP. I only hope you can work with your D and realize that. Best of luck to you both.</p>
<p>We had a great talk at a recent parents weekend about soon-to-be college graduates deciding to go to law school. Not because they wanted to be lawyers. But because the only thing they knew how to do was to go to school. And there are "so many things you can do with a law degree." And because they thought their parents would be glad if they went to a professional school, like law school. So it was really a way of postponing the decision on "what do I want to do when I finish school?"</p>
<p>So go to law school if you really want to be a lawyer, not because you can't think of something better to do and it would make your parents proud.</p>
<p>For students who are uncertain of their future direction, I would suggest a session with a career counselor. It is rather amazing how many jobs there are that don't fit the definition of "doctor, lawyer, indian chief."</p>
<p>I just spent a few days with a bunch of foresters (degreed). I have never been with a nicer, happier bunch of people in my life. </p>
<p>I didn't decide to go to law school until the end of my second year in college. When I was in law school, I decided I wanted to work in-house and NOT for a firm. How would I have ever known this at 16?</p>
<p>My daughter is probably headed for seminary. This is NOT something she would have even comprehended as a high school student. This calling arose during college. Also- even with a degree (this coming May) in vocal performance, she has gotten many interviews from wonderful companies for marketing and account executive jobs. She plans to work for a year before seminary. </p>
<p>Lighten up.</p>
<p>Last month I attended a seminar at senior parents' weekend at Georgetown. The seminar addressed the subject of just what these soon to be COLLEGE grads are going to do post-college. I just can't imagine a 15-16 year old making a decision like that. I am so jealous of my three. I think they have so many opportunities open to them and that society really looks at the 20s as that time to explore and figure out those types of questions.<br>
BTW - ColoradoMomof2 - Thank you for your comments about working for a year or two before law school. My G-town senior is looking at that route - working for a couple of years and then going on to law school. My older D graduated two years ago and is now starting to look at MBA programs. After years of living in that pseudo-adult world of college, it is healthy and extremely educational to get out there and earn a living, live on a budget and act like an adult.</p>
<p>Responding to the original post, a "B" in physics at high school isn't a career stopper in engineering or medicine. I know people got "D" in calculus at college and became top engineering professor in his field or got Nobel Prize in physics.
Also every year I wrote law school recommendation letters for my engineering graduates. There are many ways to do pre-law.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I know people got "D" in calculus at college and became top engineering professor in his field or got Nobel Prize in physics.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>If you mean a "D" in an ordinary USA college calculus course, that is very unlikely these days. If you mean (probably 30 to 50 years ago) somebody took a demanding calculus class at MIT or Caltech (or Harvard math 25-55) and didn't do the work but later succeeded in a calculus-intensive profession, that is a very different situation.</p>
<p>You are correct about the time period and the name of one of the school. But the reason of "didn't do the work" wasn't true. It was due to coming from weaker high school in one case whereas in the other case, from a demanding school not on your list, it was because the fast pace of instruction.</p>
<p>Wow, like others, I'm astounded by the idea that there are only four "careers". I guess this is another time I find myself thinking "The intarweb is a big wide world, full of all sorts of people." My son is 18, and his possible career choices change from month to month and sometimes week to week! Maybe he wants to be a particle physicist, maybe he wants to be a neo-Freudian analyst, maybe he wants to become poet and artist-in-residence at some small arts school. He finds something to love in almost every subject he studies; the only thing that he has difficulty with is when the instructor doesn't allow critical thinking about the subject. </p>
<p>I went to high school and later college with friends whose parents chose their college, chose their major, chose their <em>classes</em>. As an example, I had a friend who was a very creative, funny guy in high school; his parents decided he would attend business school and specialize in corporate accounting. He didn't care for his classes, didn't want to be a corporate accountant, but felt he had no choice because his parents would cut him off and stop paying for school if he didn't do exactly what they said. I can remember when we would be doing registration for the next quarter and would run into him in the quad, he always looked so miserable -- another quarter for him of classes he hated, stretching on for years.</p>
<p>I've heard of parents insisting on, micromanaging and paying for undergrad and law or med school and the kid, by then an adult, going off and doing something else. Love the one you're with!</p>
<p>I hated chem, organic, calculus and physics. Studied my butt off- because these courses were means to an end- med school. Doctoring requires expertise in none of these areas. You have to want to get to med school, tho, and see these as a means to an end. You can major in anything- your true heart's desire (music, in my and my husband's situation)- take the pre-med courses- and get there. But you have to want this to slave thru courses that you really don't like. To give up because of a B in physics in HS?!</p>
<p>Interesting that so many people find the idea of only four acceptable careers astounding. That's what I grew up with (and my parents still believe this to this day). My parents dictated what I majored in, where I went to school, what my career would be, etc. I wanted to study music at a large university that had very strong other programs, but they vetoed that immediately and sent me to a small engineering school that had only six majors (I got a full ride there and lived at home. My parents had not saved a dime for college, and I was too obedient at the time to look for options that would risk making them mad at me).</p>
<p>Eight years later, after socking away tons of money in a career I hate, counseling, Prozac, continued music practice, and a lot of soul-searching, I plan to go to music school in a few years. They will think I've gone crazy, but I feel that I will find some success in music simply because it's survived so much negative pressure and discouragement. Still, I think it's wrong for parents to force their career and college major wishes on their children without any regard to what that child wants. What good could come out of telling a child, "Your wants don't matter. I know what's best for you"?</p>
<p>Good luck GrooveGirl!</p>