<p>Soooo I've never drank/done drugs and I don't plan to in college. I don't have a problem with others doing it, it's just something I'm not going to do. The thing is, I'm already becoming socially isolated because of this choice. I can't seem to find any social event where a) I don't feel pressure to drink or b) feel uncomfortable because I'm the only one not doing anything. Am I doomed to be uncomfortable this entire stint in college regarding this? What have been your experiences?</p>
<p>What social events are you going to?</p>
<p>My Mormon friend found if she holds a cup even just filled with water, people stopped asking if she wanted a drink at a party or so</p>
<p>You don’t have to drink simply because you’re at an event where others are drinking.</p>
<p>As already mentioned, simply having a cup in your hand will often reduce the ‘pressure’ that you might feel. Having a cup of soda or something like that prevents you from standing out. Odds are though, most of the ‘pressure’ you might be feeling is more in your own head. Generally speaking, most people aren’t going to pressure others into drinking. That’s a myth that kind of gets perpetuated by the countless college movies that depict college as a huge drunken frat party. </p>
<p>There are plenty of social events where people don’t drink though. Join clubs. Go out to coffee shops, find people that are interested in going out to movies/concerts.</p>
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<p>Very true. I’ve found that people don’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Sure, people will ask you, “you wanna drink?” maybe once or twice. But most people won’t really guilt you or try to seriously pressure you.</p>
<p>I do party but I have a crowd of friends who do not. When we hang out, we eat out (advice via yelp – we are foodies), talk, watch movies, go shopping, go to a concert, go to parties but just drink soda (I occasionally drink but like I said, when I don’t feel like it, nobody will pressure me). Anyone who does genuinely pressure you is obviously not worth the friendship.</p>
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<p>I really wouldn’t say that this is always true. And I think it’s unfair to call it a “myth”. The large majority of people DO drink, so when you choose to not, it kind of throws up red flags. I don’t drink, and my first two years of college, it wasn’t really a problem. Basically none of my friends freshman year drank and only a couple did sophomore year.</p>
<p>This year, I’m studying abroad, and it’s kind of a constant thing. People in my friends group have accepted that I don’t drink, but they still are always saying things like: “Well if you tried more things, you would grow to like it” (when I say I don’t like the taste of alcohol) and “I want you to get drunk for my birthday” (which, drunkenness is a sin in Christianity). I’m constantly getting asked WHY I don’t drink.</p>
<p>I go out a lot and literally all of my friends here do drink. I’d say I wasn’t pressured at all in high school or my first two years of college, but this year, yeah. Quite a bit.</p>
<p>There might be a difference in location. (In France, you can legally drink at 18, so everyone here can legally drink, whereas back home in the States, none of my friends could legally drink.)</p>
<p>Anyways, the best advice I can give is just make as little of a deal of it as possible. Don’t mention it. When you go to parties and what-not, if you’re asked if you want something, just say “No thanks.” Get a cup in your hand, so people don’t think about it. Also, the biggest thing: DON’T judge people who do drink. Emphasize that you don’t have a problem with others drinking, but it’s just not your thing.</p>
<p>It’s a delicate line to walk and a lot of people will feel like just because you don’t drink, you’re judging the fact that they do. Just make it obvious that you aren’t.</p>
<p>Really, just go out, have as good of a time as anyone else. Even if people are going to a bar, you can still go and have just as good as a time as they are with only drinking a coke or whatever.</p>
<p>I feel the same way. This is my first semester in the dorms and my roommate is a heavy drinker who doesn’t understand my choice to not drink. She always trying to get me to do shots and go to her crazy parties. I generally avoid football anyways but the majority of people at the games go to get wasted. Luckily I have friends who won’t drink at school. But I have isolated myself already from hall, most of them ask me multiple times why I don’t drink and I don’t really have a good reason so they sneer and laugh.</p>
<p>I drank only occasionally in college (I only got drunk once- on my 22nd birthday- with some friends at my own apartment) and never did drugs (weed in high school, didn’t care for it). It did take me a while to find a clique where I fit in. </p>
<p>I ended up just walking around the halls one Friday or Saturday night to find anyone who was still around. Ended up finding a group of guys who were gaming (like nerd games, not GTA). They welcomed me right in (sometimes, being female comes in handy haha) and that’s how I found a group of friends 
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<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Okay so I’m not a drinker at all. Never really got into it. I even joined a sorority (which a lot people associate it with lots of drinking) and I feel like you definitely need to be confident in yourself. Sometimes people are like “oh I don’t drink” and like as time goes on they’ll just give in to pressure and just start drinking. I’ve partied totally sober with drunk people and they all just assume that I’m completely drunk like them but I’m not at all. Sometimes people might give you stuff for not drinking but for the most part people don’t care. I agree with others, if you feel like you’re at a party and people are giving you a weird look just fill up a solo cup with water or soda!</p>
<p>Trust me, there are events where alcohol is not present. I live in one of the most boring towns where there is not much to do except drink and I’ve still found events where there is no alcohol whatsoever.</p>
<p>It may be different in France. That’s a very different culture than the US though. </p>
<p>Sure, some people may pressure you to drink. But on the whole, most people aren’t going to. Most people are more worried about having a good time. Their good time has little to do with the choice of another person to drink or not drink.</p>
<p>^Yeah. But many of the people I’m talking about are Americans who have been here as long as I have.</p>
<p>A lot of people see alcohol as a right of passage and as you get older, it becomes less and less taboo to drink and more and more unusual if you don’t.</p>
<p>All of my friends freshman year didn’t drink. Many were morally opposed to it. (One girl wouldn’t even date a guy who drank.) Others just weren’t into it. By this year (I’m a junior and about half of these friends are legal now), all of them drink.</p>
<p>I didn’t drink or take drugs in college. Many people don’t.
Some however do have an occasional drink socially. I don’t think it needs to be an issue.</p>
<p>Just be yourself! I went to a really small high school where my three friends and I became very isolated because we were the only ones that didn’t drink or do drugs. But that was fine, because we were great friends and didn’t care what other people thought! You say you’re worried about becoming socially isolated because of your choice to not drink; however, your true friends shouldn’t care whether you drink or not. They should like you for you and the choices you make - period. If you lose friends because of your healthy choices, then maybe they weren’t the best friends after all. Here at college, many kids drink. Some kids overdo it and get drunk and rambunctious, but there are plenty of other kids that only have a drink or two. I would say that the majority of students do this - they just drink “socially.” However, there are still plenty of other kids (like myself) that don’t drink at all. Many people overestimate the amount that college students drink. So the point is, don’t worry about it. You’ll find plenty of friends that don’t drink like you. My best friend doesn’t drink, just like me! However, a little social drinking by some people shouldn’t stop you from being friends with them. You can go to parties without drinking. Be confident: if someone pressures you, just say no. But honestly, I’ve never felt pressured to drink at my school. No one comes up to me and asks me if I want a drink. Strangers don’t pressure me. My friends don’t pressure me either, because they respect my choices. And that’s all that matters! Just know that you’re not alone, and stick to what’s best for you.</p>
<p>I never had a drink in college and never did any drugs in my life. Heck, I never went to a party in college. I didn’t want to be like everyone else because I had bigger goals than everyone else. So, I had fun, lots of fun and they involved making friends, intramural sports, and hanging out. </p>
<p>Be yourself for sure because you have to live with yourself when everyone is gone. Don’t forget that you are there for an education. Everything else is at best secondary.</p>
<p>You sound like a fun person…I would follow the advice above, but also be a leader in finding alternative fun. With yelp/ newspapers/etc., be creative in finding new ideas. DD and her group are not bigotries, but they are traveling/eating at new spots/going to events at and away from campus every weekend.</p>
<p>So far there’s been far less pressure to drink and drug than there was in high school.</p>