What I wish I would have known in HS

Pre-College Topics High School Life
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<p>I'm currently a sophomore in college. Since I started school, I've studied abroad twice, gotten to the 2nd and 3rd year of an amazing relationship, made great friends, gotten closer to my extended family, learned a ton, and (at least for the near future) figured out what I want to do with my career. I'll most likely be transferring to a different university next year and so lately I've been reflecting a bit. I thought I'd share with you current high school students some words of wisdom (well, I hope they're somewhat wise) about what I would have done differently in HS. I was a typical kid obsessed with getting into college and all that, and in retrospect, I really would have changed my focus to building social skills, enjoying life, trying new things, and getting help where I needed it, rather than giving myself a lot of anxiety over getting into a high ranked college.</p>

<p>1) You don't know what you want to do yet, and so you might end up in a line of work where an elite college is only marginally beneficial, or even is detrimental. You may think you know 100% for sure that you will be a chemical engineer. Guess what? Over half of college freshmen who declare a major will change it later on. That means the portion of HS students who will change their major is probably much greater than half. You may have an inkling that you'd like to be a social worker but not be sure yet, and then you may find out later that you will indeed become a social worker. It can go both ways, and you don't know which way it will go for you. If you decide later on that you really want to be a teacher, for example, it makes no sense at all to attend a highly elite school. It makes all the sense in the world to attend a local, reasonably priced college where you can make connections in the area you plan to work in. You may decide you really want to be an air traffic controller and only need a 2-year degree (they make 100,000 a year!). You won't even have a chance at getting a good air traffic controller job if you attend Harvard because they don't offer that major. My point is this: realize that there is much more to life, career, and success than the name of the school you attend, and HYPS (etc etc) do not meet the needs of everyone, and you really don't even know what your needs are yet.</p>

<p>2) High school is a time for learning about life and people and the world. What you do during it will NOT have a big impact on your future success (with some exceptions perhaps for child actors and athletes). Once you're in college, the extracurricular activities you did and the awards you won will barely even take up a place on your resume anymore. They'll be forgotten. Employers are much more interested in jobs you have in college, your college GPA, etc. This is good/bad news for you, high school students. It means your job is not to impress the heck out of everyone with the activities you do, but instead to learn to be a good person (which in some ways is scarier and less straightforward than trying to build a resume, but please feel assured that it will happen for you if you put yourself out there). You need to try new things that interest you. If you don't like an activity you're doing, I urge you to quit. If you aren't socializing with your peers because you're trying to squeeze in lots of ECs on top of your advanced course homework, please stop. Step back. Remember that too much planfulness and strategizing to get into HYPS/etc is (a) not necessarily going to get you where you want to be, and (b) selling yourself out to the arguably highly elitist higher ed system in our country.</p>

<p>3) If you ease off the pressure and competitiveness, you get to just learn and enjoy, and you will actually be more successful. Let's pretend that you go to school tomorrow with the mindset that at this stage in your life, you are simply on this earth to make mistakes, learn about others, learn about yourself, and figure out your place. You take on the attitude that each of your classes can teach you something about some component of the world. You make it your goal to soak up this knowledge from each of your courses and become a better person, rather than get a certain GPA. If you do this, you'll build genuine relationships with your teachers, you'll have good conversations with people who have the same interests as you, and therefore you'll get better teacher recs and make great connections. Plus, you won't procrastinate as much because you won't feel as much anxiety about succeeding or failing. And this is all very realistic because if you look at all the evidence available, high school honestly doesn't matter that much in the long run. If you don't believe me, ask the people in your life who've been successful what they were like in high school. You will find that the ideas I present here are confirmed.</p>

<p>Those are the things that really would have improved my quality of life as an HS student - and even the person who I am today - if I had done them. And finally, if you need help, ask for it. :)</p>

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<p>This is super helpful! Thanks!</p>

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<p>This should have more views really, I feel like too much of this site is focused on trying to make themselves look good for colleges and majors that they’ll probably change their mind about.</p>

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<p>I’m also a 2nd year in college, but in contrast to your post I wished I tried harder in high school, not less.</p>

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<p>Since you seem awfully knowledgeable about high school, as a junior, I’d like to ask you a question. I attend a Jewish, Orthodox school for girls, where thus far, not a single girl has gone to college outside of Orthodox schools, let alone even applied. I’ve had my heart set on being a physician since 7th grade and while I do recognize that this is subject to change, I’d definitely like to go into the medical field. It’s basically April and I’m suddenly realizing that my school does not have much to offer me next year in terms of academics, as I’d be taking AP Bio, Calc and Pysch, which I can obviously do in college. The only 12th grade history class offered is AP Gov, which I’m self-studying this year and the English classes are terrible and I was anyways planning on supplementing. All other classes are Hebrew classes which are not necessary for further education. In addition, I’m going to get many, many speeches from my principal about how I shouldn’t become a physician or attend a regular university because she doesn’t approve (religious reasons) and I’m not interested in hearing any of it. I was thinking about skipping my senior year and going straight to college and while I recognize that I’d be disappointing my principal and many teachers, I know what I want to do with my life and I feel that my senior year will be wasted. Is this a stupid, reckless decision, assuming I could even do this so late in the year? Am I jumping the gun, or in my position do you think this might be a positive decision? Thank you!</p>

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<p>^
I’m not the OP but I think you should stay for senior year. A lot of application deadlines have already passed and you’re going to have fewer choices for where you can go. Staying during senior year would allow you to improve your test scores, extracurriculars, and essays.
I recommend taking dual-enrollment classes at a local college during your senior year. My high school doesn’t offer much either, so I finished all my graduation requirements junior year so I could do this. Where I live, dual-enrollment is free, so I save money on college too.</p>

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<p>The problem with dual enrollment is that to get into a decent program, I need my transcripts and recommendation letters. I’m going to have to fight for the transcripts, though I heard that they can’t legally withhold them and recommendation letters…forget it! They don’t approve of any education outside of the Orthodox schools, so I’m going to have to fight them. And honestly, I’d like to pick my battles with them and the battle I’m choosing is college. I don’t want to have them down my back before then, unless I have to. The CC by me said they’d figure something out if I can’t provide transcripts and recommendation letters, but it’s a terrible program. So I’m kind of in a rut here. I’m going to call some colleges, but I wouldn’t consider skipping senior year for any random college- I’d only do it if I can get into a good university, which is unlikely at this point. However, I definitely won’t get in anywhere if I don’t apply, so I’m going to do the best I can and see what happens from there. Thank you!</p>

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<p>The best students don’t get into Ivies and high-ranking schools. At least not necessarily. The students that can best express what Ivies are looking for on an application are who get into Ivies.
In other words, if you don’t get into Princeton or Harvard or MIT, it doesn’t mean you’re a worse student or person than someone who got in. It’s quite possible you’re a better student and just didn’t get in.
Also, affirmative action is total bull.</p>

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<p>There were also a lot of things I learned going through the application process and high school. #3 is definitely one of them. High school everyday for me was stressing out over every little things. I think it’s just after getting admissions at the colleges I want that I start to enjoy “life” a little bit more. I read a super loooooong novel last week. I haven’t read for pleasure for years. The feeling was very refreshing. So I definitely plan to be a little more “laid back,” as in don’t stress out as much, in college. The last 4 years was me living to prepare for the next four years. Well, I want to actually live the present now.</p>

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<p>1) You don’t know what you want to do yet, and so you might end up in a line of work where an elite college is only marginally beneficial, or even is detrimental.</p>

<p>It seems to me that the best strategy in this case would be to do as well as you can to give yourself as many options as possible. You might not end up wanting to go to a high-ranked school, but it’s nice to have that option. I’d rather choose to go to a lower-ranked school than be forced to because of my grades, y’know?</p>

<p>You need to try new things that interest you. If you don’t like an activity you’re doing, I urge you to quit. If you aren’t socializing with your peers because you’re trying to squeeze in lots of ECs on top of your advanced course homework, please stop.</p>

<p>I’m not socializing with my peers because I was socially inept to begin with, and although that’s a stereotype I think it’s true for at least some of the people who are on here obsessing over getting into selective colleges.
Studying gives you something to do, something to be good at. Also, “I have homework” is a better excuse for not going to a dance than “I don’t know how to talk to people.”
If I didn’t care about college admissions, I wouldn’t do extracurriculars at all. I have interests in things, but without the motivation of college admissions, my pathological shyness would have kept me from pursuing them. I used to believe that you could get into a good college with good grades alone, and so I didn’t see the point of putting myself through the stress of joining clubs when I preferred to go home and sit in my room.
I agree that people shouldn’t do things they hate solely for college apps, but “just do what you love!” didn’t really work for me. </p>

<p>you’ll build genuine relationships with your teachers</p>

<p>General question: what does this mean exactly? At my school, the teachers just ask for your resume and then regurgitate it in their recommendation letter. I was complaining about this to my GC and I said I participated in class all the time so I should be able to get more “personal” recommendations. He asked if I talked to my teachers outside of class and I said I didn’t because I thought it was unprofessional/weird.
Is it? What do you have to do to get good recommendations?</p>

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<p>Fast, was that post for me? If so, I’m not talking about the Ivies. Even if I were to apply as a senior, my chances are probably even slimmer than your typical applicant, considering what my application would look like (lack of EC’s, awards, APs, etc). I’m referring to colleges such as Barnard, which is an excellent school and my chances are much greater.
My situation has nothing to do with affirmative action, especially considering that the person being “discriminated” against (me) is from the same religious sect as those discriminating. My school doesn’t feel its appropriate for me to attend a regular college and they’re only going to attempt to prevent me because they think its best for me- the fact that they’re quite narrow minded and not willing to understand my perspective is another issue, but it’s not analogous to affirmative action.</p>

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<p>LaughaholicMD - </p>

<p>It can’t hurt at all to look at all your options in terms of skipping senior year, taking the GED and going to college or finding other dual-enrollment schools besides that CC. Definitely call the colleges you’re thinking of and see what they can do for you. Don’t be afraid to explain the whole situation to them - often they’ll waive things like letters of recommendation from teachers if you have a good reason (which you do). You’ll definitely also need to check website for deadlines; you may not be able to apply for Fall but instead for Spring semester at this point at some schools.</p>

<p>Further, I don’t know your whole situation so I can’t say for sure, but have you thought about how much control your principals/teachers really have over you? I think you might be overestimating how much power they objectively have. You can GIVE them power by choosing not to do something because it might disappoint them, but if your parents/guardians are letting you skip senior year or drop out and take the GED, then your school principal doesn’t have authority to stop you.</p>

<p>However, the courses available at your HS that you listed seem perfectly fine to me. If you’re able to take 4 AP courses during high school, that’s more than a lot of people. Colleges never expect you to take more honors/AP courses than the number offered by your HS - just the fact that you max out whatever’s offered to you is what they’re looking for if your HS doesn’t offer many options. Just make sure that at your particular high school, you are able to get the minimum number of classes in each subject required to apply to most colleges (I think this is typically 4 years of English, 3 years of math/science, 2 years of foreign language… check college websites to be sure). There should be more to your decision about leaving or staying at your HS than simply whether or not you can take courses that will help you get into college. Are there other reasons you want to leave, like a discouraging principal? Are there any reasons you want to stay? Is transferring to a public high school an option?</p>

<p>I can’t say for sure, but it sounds like maybe you don’t have many people in your life that you can ask about the college admissions process. If that’s true, and if by chance you’re in the New York area, check out an organization called Footsteps - you can find their website and contact information on Google. They work with Orthodox Jews and Hasidic Jews, and they offer assistance navigating the process of applying to college. If not, see what your states offer in terms of help applying to colleges. I tried searching “[insert state name here] help applying to college” and it yielded some results at .gov websites.</p>

<p>Edit: If you go to the Footsteps website it looks like they only work with “ultra-Orthodox” - but from what I understand they also work with Orthodox Jews.</p>

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<p>Also, in some states you can drop out of HS without parent permission at age 17, I believe…</p>

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<p>futurepmhnp- I’d prefer not get my GED because I’m assuming it’ll reflect negatively on my college applications for the 2013-14 year and especially for coming years if I choose to switch schools- unless I’m totally wrong…??
There are many reasons why I’d rather not remain for my senior year, and classes are only a fraction of it. My entire morning consists of Hebrew classes, which aren’t necessary for college. While we learn a lot about life beyond school in general and how to live as a Jew, I don’t agree with the philosophy of the school and much of it isn’t applicable to me-which ultimately means I’m wasting about 4 hours every day of my 9 hour school day.
While I can take 3 AP’s as a senior, I was planning on self-studying 2 and that alone is going to be discouraged because “its too much”.
I agree that I’m probably giving my principal too much power over me, but I’m one of those people that hates disappointing others, so this is difficult for me. Obviously she doesn’t have the power to stop me, but if I choose to skip my senior year, I’m going to spend the rest of my junior year in her office getting speeches about the “terrible decision I’m making”- which is a waste of time.
In general, my principal’s deprecating attitude is very frustrating. At career night, when I repeated my goal of becoming a physician, she blatantly said, “No, you can’t do that.” It’s not only her, but my teachers and even father. So I’m getting no encouragement or help in the process. I had never heard of SAT Subject Tests until a few months ago because that’s how secluded my school is from the rest of the world. They don’t feel it’s appropriate for a “nice, Jewish girl” but they’re extremely close-minded and don’t understand that becoming a physician through a regular university doesn’t place my Jewish identity at risk.</p>

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<p>That does sound like a really difficult situation! But, you can do it! It can be really hard to disappoint people - do you have any family or friends who are supportive of your goal? Talk to them, and if not, I really really suggest finding someone to talk to in person about this, there are a lot of resources available. If you found College Confidential you will be able to find other assistance - you can usually even get counseling at walk-in teen clinics if that’s available where you are. I’m not sure how GEDs reflect on college admission, maybe someone else can comment on this (though, I do know that my brother got into a good school after dropping out and getting his GED at 16). I’m also not sure whether or not you can matriculate to college without an HS diploma or GED, it might depend on the college and the circumstances, and this would be another thing to research. But hey- you’ve overcome a lot of adversity by applying to college- so, no matter how you finish HS or whether you have teacher recs, you will have a really great, genuine story to tell in your applications. </p>

<p>It’s hard to disappoint people, especially your teachers and principal, but maybe you can try to avoid telling them what you’re doing (do they need to know about APs you are self-studying for?). Also, practice reminding yourself that the opinion of your teachers and principle is really a minority opinion (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now). There are many, many more people out there (including the VAST majority of Jewish people) who would be VERY supportive of your dreams. If you can seek someone to talk to in real life who isn’t going to shoot you down, preferably someone who is very open-minded or outside your insular community, I think that would be ideal.</p>

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<p>“do they need to know about APs you are self-studying for?”</p>

<p>Wouldn’t they have to order the tests for her?</p>

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<p>It appears she might be able to contact her local AP coordinator and take the test at a different participating school:</p>

<p>[Registering</a> for AP Courses & AP Exams](<a href=“College Board - SAT, AP, College Search and Admission Tools”>Register for AP Exams – AP Students | College Board)</p>

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<p>I might not have to tell them about the AP’s, but there’s nothing they can do about them either way. If they think 5 is too many, but I know I can handle them, I don’t see a problem. It’s more convenient for me to arrange for a proctor through the school, but that’s not my only option and I will definitely look into other participating schools if/when the time comes!</p>

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<p>futurepmhnp and halcyon-Thank you so much for your encouragement. My mother does support me, which is very advantageous for me, but the fact that my father doesn’t is unfortunately damaging a lot of our relationship. In my very insular community, I will be frowned upon by many people, but this is one of those situations where the end justifies the means.</p>

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<p>Laughaholic: I PMed you.
If your school offers Bio, Calc and Psych, count your blessings :).
It is probably too late to get into a good college. You sound like you not only don’t like your school, you don’t like your whole situation. I assume you’re not planning on sem :slight_smile: - has your principal said anything about that? A bit drastic- but are there any other schools in your area you’d consider? Probably not, as it’s late in the year and like I said, your school sounds like a relatively good one, but it’s worth a shot.
WOULD you consider Stern? You missed their Early Admission deadline, but you could probably call and ask if it can be extended. The big problem is the transcript, which is a problem by me also, but that’ll be a problem no matter what college you want to go to.
Either way, PLEASE PM me! I’ve got loads to say but don’t want to clog up the forum… :slight_smile:
Good luck!
And chag kasher vesameach!</p>