Newbie here,
Lots of good info here on the college application process, etc.
My kid is not quite old enough yet, so my question posed to parents that have gone through college application process with their kids:
What would you do differently? What would you do more of/ less of?
I am basically trying to learn some good tips for an early high-schooler.
Also, does anyone know of forums that may deal with the younger age group?
Thanks!
I would worry a great deal less about grades , (actually, about everything) and spend much more time helping them try new things, failures or not, in pursuit of finding what they love, care about, have talents in, and generally help point them at activities to help discover their interests. And I would save, save, save money.
Also think about what “track” makes the most sense for your kid…for example what math track is the best for him/her? Like what do you need to do to make sure they take calculus by senior year?
Find out if your HS offers dual enrollment courses (with local colleges) and if so see if that might make sense in their case.
After they take the 10th grade PSAT…see what their scores are. If they are above 180 then think about having them study for the 11th grade PSAT which counts for National Merit Scholar program (which can result in scholarships).
Look at the book “How to be a High School Superstar” by Cal Newport.
I agree to use this time to take an interesting class or try a new after school club.
NOTHING. D. had a ball at the HS that I have convinced her to choose. She thanked me many times.
I do not know about Superstar, but she graduated #1 in her class, which we did not know about until graduation ceremony. No rankings, but she received couple awards that meant that she was #1, aside from the fact that only 1 person in her class had 4.0 uw and she happened to have a 4.0 uw.
Her HS friends will be her friends for the rest of her life. This is how she and we (her parents) see it now as she is graduating from Med. School in May of this year. They are definitely the closest ones, even the ones from the next couple classes.
It was a perfect place and so was her college (that she choose for herself)
One thing is common in HS and UG - D. was a busy bee, tons of ECs and various involvements, many many friends (including sorority sisters at college).
(Three kids: one a college graduate, one graduating this spring and one heading to college in the fall. Between them, they applied to a total of ~24 colleges and universities, with denials/waitlists by 4 high reaches. So ~ 20 acceptances. Here’s how important NONE of the college angst is: I can’t quite remember how many colleges the older two applied to. I also can’t remember their exact test scores or their high school GPAs. And neither can they, because once a kid gets to college NOBODY cares about any of it anymore. What we all DO remember are the sports, the band concerts, the dances, their friends, the trips we took as a family.)
Academically, nothing. But as far as ECs, I would have researched a bit (and may have then found out in advance what a complete jerk a particular coach is).
“I am basically trying to learn some good tips for an early high-schooler.”
It’s high school and it goes by fast. Agree with above that it’s time to branch out socially, sports, clubs, work, etc.
On academic side: and considering what school offers course wise, IMO take hardest possible courses one can take AND do well in. The “AND” is very important. I’m not talking about taking the most courses but, at minimum, typical 5 core courses (Eng, Math, Sci, Social Sci, Foreign Language, or other (e.g. fine arts, practical arts, etc) depending on high school reqs. I say this for a couple of reasons. First it may help develop student’s time management skills and self confidence in handling more challenging material. I understand that kids develop at different rates and so one child might say take AP Eng and AP Math, where another takes AP Math, regular Eng, where another takes regular Eng and Math, AP History etc. All of that is okay, it’s totally child dependent. Don’t demand child take hardest courses “just because”. There should be something in child’s history to indicate that they could succeed. And if they struggle, it’s okay. Better to learn now than when classes are perhaps hundreds of dollars per unit/hour. Second reason is the usual benefits of AP credit and/or dual enrollment classes which could mean skipping some entry level college classes, earlier registration at college, more choices when it comes time to apply which perhaps could translate into more/better financial aid offers.
“But as far as ECs, I would have researched a bit (and may have then found out in advance what a complete jerk a particular coach is).”
A jerk to one guy might walk on water to another. Kids have to learn sometime to deal with different people
^^^ Coaches, teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, test formats, curriculum… They all come and go. You can’t count on anything staying the same.
Have a sit down with your spouse (if you have one) where you review your last few years tax returns, credit card bills, brokerage/bank statements, cancelled checks, life insurance policy, etc.
Don’t wait until fall of senior year to discover that you can’t afford to send your kid where s/he thinks you can afford to send him/her. Don’t wait until winter of senior year to find out that you should have been putting the max into your 401K at work for the last few years. Don’t wait until spring of senior year to realize that you should have sold the beach cottage that nobody uses which is costing you thousands in property taxes every year, but it will take thousands more to fix up and months to get it ready to list, and then months until it’s sold and by the way- tuition is due in August. And don’t wait until senior year to realize that you’ve been living a lifestyle you can’t afford, and that colleges aren’t going to care that you eat out twice a week because you are too tired to fix dinner when you get home from work.
All this EC business is nice and yeah, AP’s are great. But more ink is spilled on CC by kids and parents who wait until senior year to understand how financial aid works, how loans work, why a kids assets are “assessed” at a different rate than a parents asset, what an EFC is, why a bank won’t lend a 17 year old kid 25K per year, why a college which doesn’t meet full need won’t care that you’d have to sell a kidney to pay your share of tuition, etc.
Do it now.
^ This. A+ answer.
The OP asked what we would do differently. As I said, I would have researched the people in charge of activities my kids were planning to participate in. @Jugulator20 suggests “kids have to learn sometime to deal with different people”. Of course. No one would disagree with that. And @eastcoascrazy points out that nothing stays the same, but in this case it has been the same. If your kid is going to be involved in an EC, that means your kid may have a lot of time in the presence of a particular person, such as a coach. Why on Earth would you NOT think it’s a good idea to research that person? I really wish I had.
Adding to Blossom’s post: if financial aid may be an issue for your family, consider Kal Chany’s book: "Paying for College Without Going Broke.” As it’s been 7 years since I filled out FAFSA, and I’m sure there have been changes, his book broke down the nuts and bolts of the financial aid process into easy to read language and explained how parental/student income and assets were weighted. It gave practical meaning to blossom’s advice. Book also was updated every year so was always current. I’m sure there are other books, but I found it helpful
I would start with the the $$. Learn about NPCs and your EFC. At this point it’s a guesstimate, but try to figure out if you will be eligible for any financial aid. Understand FAFSA and CS profile considerations. Learn what schools offer the best aid packages. Learn what schools lean heavy on including loans in their packages. Determine your own family’s tolerance for taking on debt. Do you want your kid to borrow for school? There is a limit to that amount. Are you willing to co-sign on loans? Figure out what you are going to be willing AND able to spend on your child’s education in light of your income, savings, values, retirement goals, other children, etc. Learn about the concept of “gapping.” Figure out what schools do and don’t offer merit money (most top schools do not). Learn about requirements for receiving merit money at various schools your child might have an interest it. Is it plug and chug based on grades and test scores? Or is it a competitive, application process? Or some element of both? If you can afford any undergraduate school, are you okay with spending that much money? Some people are and some aren’t. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do something. Only you can determine what is reasonable for you to spend. I think the money issue is tough on several levels. I was brought up in a household where it was absolutely NONE of my business how much money my parents made or had. I don’t think parents need to tell their kids every dirty detail about their finances, but a kid needs a budget when they are college shopping, IMO.
The best advice I have received from these boards is the concept of “love they safety.” I definitely think that STARTING with the safety (having two is best, I think - student still has a choice) is the way to go. I can’t tell you how many friends we had who did NOT do this, yet the safety was the only feasible economic option for their chidlren after all decisions were in. Their kids then felt like they were “settling.” A safety is a school where: 1) you know you will be accepted, 2) you can afford to attend, and 3) you would be happy to attend.
I was an early bird in the process, too. I think it’s helpful to have a long-range plan. Good luck!
I don’t mean to derail this thread., but I am curious.
@Barfly said , “I would have researched a bit (and may have then found out in advance what a complete jerk a particular coach is).”
What would you have done had you known in advance? I understand the importance of choice in picking club teams and coaches, but what would you have done about a high school coach who was a complete jerk?
I wouldn’t have necessarily done anything differently. All three had good high school experiences , took their AP classes, made sure they have 4 solid years of the reading, math, science, foreign language curriculum, played the sports that interested them and had summer jobs after sophomore year until they left for college. Pretty traditional experiences.They got their drivers licenses, managed not to get any tickets and by junior year were able to get themselves up and out the door. They did well enough GPA-wise to go where they were happy to go to college and none felt too much pressure or too much stress. Two of the three have graduated and found jobs and are living “on their own” since they graduated.
I totally agree that this is a good year to start thinking about how you will finance college if you need to think about that or didn’t put a plan in place when they were babies or very young.
I don’t know anything about Barfly’s coach situation, but good vs. bad teachers do make a difference. For example, if the foreign language program is at a size where there is one teacher each for Spanish/French/Latin/etc and your child hasn’t started a language in middle school and doesn’t have a set preference, then it can be useful to talk to the parents of older students about which of those teachers are especially good or bad. (And which are probably about to retire for the especially good ones.) The 2nd language you choose is pretty much the one you are stuck with for 3-4 years.
I know kids around here who selected a different high school because of the personality of the drama and/or music teachers. If that is where your career may end up, then good teachers and a good program can be as important as lots of STEM offerings to a STEM kid.
Regarding coaches, if there is a known problem JV coach, for example, one could choose to play Frosh-Soph that year instead of skipping ahead to JV.
@eastcoascrazy, my advice is just to do the research, so you know about the people your kid will be spending so much time with and can make your own decision about what, if anything, you might do. In our case, my son was torn between mutually exclusive winter sports. Had we known in advance more about the coach in question, my son could have used that information in making his decision and I suspect he would have chosen one of the other sports. In hindsight, that would have been a good thing.
@Ynotgo suggests another reason to do a little research in advance, not just for ECs as I mentioned, but for courses.
This isn’t that doable because of the colleges wanting four years of one language, but I thought that my four years of one language beginning in 8th grade was less beneficial than say, two years of one language, two years of another, and one year of a third language would have been. I could have taken two years each of German and Spanish, and then one year of either French or Latin, and I think I’d be better off than I was. I did have the opportunity to take one year of something as a senior, but was too lazy and uninformed to realize that it could have been useful. 
My sense of language instruction for most/many students is that the upper years don’t accomplish as much as they could compared to the earlier years, and that acquiring fluency is dependent on spending time in a country where the language is spoken rather than an extra year or two in class.
Understand, and make sure your child understands, how important the SAT/ACT is. Make sure they study and get them a tutor or into a class if they are not great at getting on a study schedule. Take the tests fairly early so you have time to retake if you want higher scores to get acceptance or merit aid at the colleges you are interested in. Do not let your child fall into the “oh, I’ve always been in the 95th percentile on my state tests so I will do just as well on the SAT” trap!
Take the earliest AP class possible to see how you do. Don’t take the AP exam for this class, just use it to gauge how hard you think AP is and whether you can stand taking more of them. If your child has done honors classes in middle schol, they can probably handle AP classes and should take as many as they can tolerate.
If your child is remotely interested in studying music in college, get them into private lessons ASAP and explore summer programs. Understand that senior year will be very stressful and possibly costly, with auditions required as well as all the applications.
It is never too early to visit colleges, though if you do any visits this year you may end up revisiting before you are done.
While potentially true, that still does not negate the fact that top colleges want 4 years/level 4 of the same language. At least for the college admissions process, your belief that 2+2+1 is better than 4 years of the same language does not outweigh a college’s expectation of the academic preparation a strong candidate should/must possess