In my young, childless opinion, I think part of the problem is some parents love their kids so gosh-darned much that they can’t bear telling them " We really shouldn’t go 100 grand in debt for you to get a fine arts degree". I mean no disrespect to people who go into fine arts BTW, I’m just reminded of a parent on the forum just a few weeks ago who had this exact dilemma. A mother was contemplating co signing 100k in loans so their kid could go to RISD instead of MassArt for a graphic design degree where the median or mean (can’t remember which) salaries from the schools for those majors were only a few grand different (and still only in the 40k range). We can debate all day whether or not it’s fair but people have to be realistic about the salaries they will get going into their respective fields!
Another point to be contemplated is: If the child dies and the loan is still in the parents’ names, the parents still have to repay the loan. This happens more than people would like to think.
It is always a good idea for signatory to have Term life insurance to help ease the financial burden that would accompany a tragic death.
Knowing how and when to stay no and have financial planning that will allow the parents and kids to live comfortable financial lives cannot be overstated.
Fancy schools are great, the college experience is great, but imo once you are taking oht more than 10k/yr its not so great.
We refused to take out PLUS loans. To the extent we needed to borrow (due to loss of my income due to medical issues), we took a small HELOC. Total was about a semester’s COA. We had planned long before not to tap home equity just in case we needed to do this. Both sons took Stafford loans, close to the maximum.
We did take PLUS loans for DH for the portion of grad school not covered by scholarships or my income. We had been married several years, I didn’t cosign, DH’s parents were not in the picture.
I think that if you are willing to borrow money for your child’s education you should look at it entirely as your debt. If your child is willing and able to pay you back that is a lagniappe. That is why I encourage parents to determine ahead of time what they are comfortable contributing and that includes loans if any. If the cost after the student receives their financial aid package exceed that then that school is too expensive and you understood ahead of time what your maximum liability would be.
I do think it’s my responsibility to pay for my kids’ undergraduate degrees. That was included in our launch plan. We set up our lives this way. But if we had had to go into debt to do this, our plan would have looked very different, and both kids would be attending Major Merit U, with student loans in their names.
I’m so jealous of all your kids. My parents could have easily set up a college education plan for myself and my younger brother but they didn’t. They treated all money they had as invest-able money and lost it in various investments including real estate.
From the time I contemplated pregnancy, I also vowed to pay for my kids’ undergraduate degrees. That said, I steered daughter away from one incredibly expensive option where she wouldn’t have gotten any aid, to another expensive one that did. There were loans as part of her FA offer, which we made clear to our daughter we’d pay.
Grad school – that was on her dime, even though we co-signed. She’s paying it off without an issue.
We didn’t cosign loans.
For grad school, students can take out grad plus loans up to the cost of attendance…so no need to cosign there either. But our kids didn’t do that either.
The Direct Loan amount is also higher for grad school than for undergrad.
Maybe it’s because I grew up without much money, but as the “kid,” I couldn’t imagine asking my parents to take on debt for my education.
My mom was a banker though so I’ve had financial education from the cradle. I saw what her customers at the bank went through when the market crashed (I was in high school at the time). She would come home and tell us about how people were losing their homes, foregoing buying medicines, etc, etc. It became imprinted on me.
I don’t know what I’ll do if/when I have kids. Any debt I’d take out though I’d view as mine. Debt is hard for many (most?) 17/18 year olds to truly wrap their minds around and I think it’s my duty to not let them get in over their heads. (But for that reason, I wouldn’t take out more than I could afford.)
I can only hope our kid gets our pretty frugal and practical genes 
I couldn’t resist a response here. I agree with kids not knowing finances. To this day I don’t know how my parents managed ANY help to us.
Somehow my parents and I found a way to get me through undergrad- meager job earnings, scholarships and money from a tight budget. No loans. College so much more affordable eons ago compared to now. For medical school I recall borrowing the money on my own signature and paid off loans sooner than later. Unfortunately my mom died before I had the money to spend on them and my father never would take money, sigh. I did repay the $500 he gave me when I started private practice (I did not take my accountant’s offer for an advance on earnings- financially insecure and afraid of debt). So much I wanted to do I couldn’t for my parents and sibling’s kids.
H and I were able to translate our educations into having enough money there was no need to have son apply for scholarships (and I ignored telling him to put his NMS first choice at the U he attended). Kid is frugal now and doesn’t spend all of what he earns. Wish I could have known my current financial status and spent more- had a shoestring budget so many years.
I keep hearing one should not take from retirement funds. We believe in paying forward. I am finally starting to give some nieces and nephews money. Wish I would have known how to help them with their college expenses, but families… My sister’s kids made it through colleges of their choices- but the kids did it. Sure wish I could have helped.
I do not believe it is better to not have than to have the money for college et al. However I wonder about kids I have seen whose parents raise them in a rich lifestyle that those kids take for granted. I wonder how they will do when living on their own incomes before achieving any wealth for the lifestyle their parents grew up with. We never did grow into a lifestyle commensurate with our finances, and son likewise seems to be doing that. Unlike me there was no can’t afford- but there was is it worth the cost etc.