Need Advice! So what if my first choice (dream school) waitlists me?.. However, I am lucky enough to get accepted at another perfectly fine school. My parents would not be willing to fork out two deposits ( and I would never ask them to). Do I love the school that loves me (along with my broken dream). Or do I hold out hope that I will get off the waitlist? As March 10th creeps closer, I realize this scenario is not only possible, but likely.
- Love the school that loves you.
- There are a myriad of threads discussing this topic.
- Don't worry about this till it happens.
- Good luck!
- Waitlists are not fun.
Unlike college admissions, very few students are admitted off the waitlists for boarding schools. This varies depending on the projected vs actual yield for each class. But if you are waitlisted, you are not required to fork over a deposit. Suggest that you accept a place in one of the schools that accepts you and move on with your life.
Here’s a thought (for you and all applicants): If you liked a school enough to apply to it, then barring some truly out of the ordinary situation, you most likely like it enough to attend. Unless you are willing to be left without a place to go in the fall, love the school that loves you.
Two other thoughts:
- Be sure to pull your name off the waitlist at the school that WL’d you.
- Every year, we see some variant of the “I got WL’d at School X, but got into School Y. I don’t really want to go to School Y, what should I do?” Here’s my somewhat “tough love” advice: “Then why’d you waste School Y’s time (and your parents’ money) by even applying?” Again, absent some major change (like head of school leaving, major scandal at school, etc.) if that school was appealing enough for you to apply…then it’s probably appealing enough for you to attend.
Here’s the drill:
If you receive a WL decision from your first choice school and an acceptance from another school- the steps are pretty simple:
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Accept a place on the WL via email with Delivery and Read Receipts.
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Schedule a Revisit Day and put the WL school OUT OF YOUR MIND for now. Go to Revisit Day and have a great time.
You’ll have one month for the WL to shakeout and to make a decision about the other school . If you want to go the distance with the WL school ( WITHOUT jeopardizing the other school ) you’ll have until A9. On A8 have your PARENT call the WL school and ask to speak to the DOA. Tell WL school that you have to act on an acceptance from another school before the deadline but you’d like to check WL status ( one last time ) before you do. If they tell you that they’re NOT going to the WL or they don’t expect much movement- thank them and have them remove your name from the WL.
It’s time to MOVE ON unless you choose to stay on the WL. If WL school miraculously does come through ( after A10 ) you’ll have to break your commitment with the other school and forfeit your deposit- which isn’t a mere bag of shells, by the way. Personally, I could never take this route because I’m way too frugal and like closure .
I’m also big on keeping commitments- but that’s just me. So- now we’re one or two days away from the deadline…
- Now that you’ve given the WL time to play out ( and you can walkaway and never wonder because you’ve seen it through to the end… ) : Have your parent call the school ( you’ll be attending ) and tell them the deposit check is on it’s way via FedEx.
The End.
@PhotographerMom - that is perhaps the best reply I’ve seen on the topic. Nicely done.
My son was wait listed by his dream school and 4 others 2 years ago. He got one acceptance, and took it. Two weeks into September he called to say that the dream school is reportedly just for jocks, and he wouldn’t have liked it anyway! Looking back he’s decided that the AO’s knew whether he would fit in better than he did himself.
I mostly agree with @photographermom with a caveat. If there is a school you are WL at that you are desperate for you should have your parent call prior to April 9, parent should let them know how interested you are and see if they have any sense of yield, if they will go to the WL etc. parent should also convert that if they were to give you a spot of the WL you immediately accept on the spot etc. None of them want to be wasting any WL spots on kids who will not come. I think a handwritten note to the AO saying why you loved the school, how much you would like to get in etc will not hurt. This should all be done with the understanding that it will probably not work out, if it were my kid I would be doing this on her behalf while urging her to fall in love with the school that wants her going to revisit days etc.
I would also be cautioning my child to think of the WL as a rejection and move on. Prepare to be excited from school with admit, then in the very slim chance you get off the wait list you can be excited.
I would basically put all of this as part of @photographermom’s step 2 and otherwise proceed exactly as she suggests
Coming off a waitlist is much more likely if you’re full-pay.
Maybe this is just me because of my, well, “experience” in the WL department, but I think you should be happy to get in wherever.
yes @stargirl3 I think you are absolutely right. I should have included that in what I was writing
Thank you, @RedSoxFan18 - I try 
Even with FP…very RARE to get off the waitlist
My daughter was wait listed and needed financial aid and came off 3 wait lists. So NOTHING is impossible. My advice- if wait listed call Head of Admissions and let them know why you want to be there. Email or call the person that interviewed you and ask them to push for you. In many cases, the committees will reconvene as the yield becomes apparent. Make sure your name is on the top of their list!!!
@Momof5ct totally totally agree this is exactly what I was suggesting to add to the earlier advice. Sitting back and waiting passively to see if they will call is not the right strategy
@Momof5ct- Wow. I knew your daughter came off the Pomfret WL on A10 last year but I didn’t know Loomis and Westminster came through with a spot and FA, too. That is amazing!
Kids and parents reading this…do not take Momof5ct’s post #13 to be any guarantee that something similar can happen for you. Very very few people get off the waitlist at the most selective schools…even fewer if you need FA.
But that does not mean you should not have a parent call, and express real enthusiasm on M11 and see if there is any real hope. There is nothing to be lost by giving it your best try.
I agree with 7Dad (as usual). Don’t count on waitlists. I don’t think I possibly could’ve shown any more love to schools that WLed me, and it didn’t work. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work.
It doesn’t work for everyone, or most or even many, but that doesn’t mean you should not try