If you end up taking a gap year I highly recommend applying to college as a senior in high school. My son is on a gap year now in another country and I can not imagine him applying to college from there. He deferred for one year and is starting college in the fall.
Thank you @massmom2018, I appreciate that advice. I am definitely considering applying next year, deferring, and then taking a gap year.
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Make sure it isn’t depression that isnt making you want to not do anything. Maybe talk to your doctor about the fact you don’t feel motivated.
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What are your long term goals? Have a career? Buy a house? Have a family? Travel? Help others? Solve problems? Lead others?
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What do you want to do instead of going to college right now? Work a minimum wage job? Travel? but who would pay for that? Join the military? Peace Corps?
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Don’t start talking to you parents with “I don’t think I am going to college”…that is a possible solution.
Talk to them about what the problem is. “I don’t feel motivated. I feel burned out.” (and explain what “burned out” means to you." Talk to them about what you could do immediately and what you could do in the future.
Sitting around and playing video games is not a solution.
When my brother was living with us while he was going to trade college, at some point he stopped going to classes. I said “If you are done with schooling, then I guess you are ready to go live your adult life…” Are you ready to live your adult life? Probably not. College is a great way to take steps toward independence. -
I agree that you should apply to college, see how you are doing in the summer, and then take a gap year. Then you have the most choices.
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Realize you have more freedom in college…some more freedom in what you take for classes, but more independence in general.
You may have outgrown high school. College is really nothing like high school. There is so much more freedom and you have so much more to choose from. Funny thing is my eldest hated school so much by the time she went to college, grad school was off the table. Fast forward through college she opted for grad school. College allows you to explore interests where high school can turn into a grind.
@Dancer14. Would you join a dance program for fun. I treat many dancers in my practice and many don’t keep up the competitive level but help teach children or join dance clubs for fun in college. … Just assuming from your name…
Also one thing I can say is that my shy, sort of introverted son is not that any longer. He grew up so much at college. Took the next step in maturing. His confidence grew exponentially.
My daughter actually took a gap year (semester) after being away at a study abroad program in southeast Asia. She applied to, got accepted, did video interviews and got a great merit scholarship all while in Indonesia.All with spotty internet service. She stayed two extra months and traveled. So it can be done but really don’t recommend it…
It was the right move for her. But very hard to do midstream in your college career.
Again apply, get accepted then make your decision. If you do take a gap year, your next year will be all set and ready to go.
- I don’t feel sad or depressed, it’s really just that I’m not sure I want to continue on with education, especially because I don’t want to force myself to go and then get the burden of student loans.
- My long term goals are unsure at the moment, but I would love to have a job I love of course and I’d love to have traveled and gotten some world experience. I’ve always been interested in the film industry so even though it’s just a small dream, I’d love to somehow be involved in the industry.
- I would probably just get a minimum wage job for a year and just focus on me without the hassle of schooling for a bit. However, I would love to travel if I could.
My daughter did this for a bit in Southeast Asia. You work for free food and a place to stay. You work like 5 hours or so a day and get to explore the area after that. You can view all the program available. She had a great experience with it. Just have to get to your destination. Where she was at in Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam the food was cheap and incredible. Also traveling was inexpensive and she did youth hostels with Europeans she met along the way. Everyone looks out for each other.
Film industry is all who you know. Look up Production assistant in Linkin for LA. There are jobs but you also need a place to stay etc. Many start doing basic things on set. Through a connection my daughter worked on set of a movie for 3 weeks in LA. She was a theater design major at that point. She actually designed the sets for the movie and got a art director credit. But she stayed with someone we knew that was the Production director for the movie. Again… All who you know. My daughters friend started as an assistant for like free but worked her way up after a few years and has been on movie sets and traveling through out the world in various movies. A lot of 16 hour days in 100 degree heat. Once you show your a hard working team player you can do behind the scene things on set.
3 Choosing colleges
You should apply to Safeties (your grades/SAT is well above average AND YOU CAN AFFORD IT), Matches and Reaches. Don’t go crazy on how many colleges you apply to…it takes a lot of effort if each college
Make sure you do not apply to any college you would not attend.
Don’t always assume that going to the highest ranked college is the best.
https://www.businessinsider.com/malcolm-gladwells-david-and-goliath-2013-10
Find out what your budget is. Ask your parents what your yearly budget is for college.
3.1 Strategies for Affordable Colleges
If you are told there is no money, or you don’t know how much money, or there is a limited amount of money you need to choose colleges that are affordable for you family. For your parents, it used to be possible to work your way through college. This is no longer the case.
3.1.1 Financial Need
If your family has financial need (according to FAFSA/CSS, not what you think!), you can get need-based grants.
• Look at Net Price Calculators on colleges to see if you would get need based financial aid.
• Apply to Colleges that meet Full need (Look on prepscholar for colleges that meet full need)
3.1.2 Merit
Another way to get scholarship is through merit scholarships. Merit scholarships are used to attract strong students to a college. Ivy League schools do not give out merit scholarships because all students are strong that go there.
- Look for scholarships
a. Apply to colleges where your stats are significantly above average to get merit scholarships
b. Look for colleges with auto-scholarship based on gpa/sat http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/ - Study for SAT on Khan Academy to increase your SAT score
3.1.3 Lower Cost School
Another way to save money on colleges is look for colleges with a lower sticker price. Also you can get credits for almost free in HS and then use them in college and attend for fewer years.
• Look for cheaper schools. In-state public schools are usually much cheaper than private/out of state schools
• Look to get as many college credits as you can in HS.
o Take AP or IB classes and do well on the AP/IB tests so you can get college credit. Find colleges that give extra credit for IB (e.g., SUNY Binghamton). If you have enough you may be able to graduate early. *Unless you want to go to medical school. Medical school don’t want you to fulfill the requirements of Bio, Chem, Org Chem, Physics with AP.
o Your state may have a “running start” or “dual enrollment” program where you can take college courses for free in HS
• Go to community college for two years, and then transfer to a state school
3.1.4 What about Loans?
You really want to avoid taking out big loans to pay for college. Your parents have to co-sign any loan you take over the Federal Direct Loan (Starting at $5500 and going up to $7000 as a senior). Student Loans are one of the only type of loans that cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy.
College will almost certainly be tougher than high school, academically speaking. However, there are also many more opportunities for fun. My time in college was VERY tough - academics and work really wore me out. However, I also had a lot more fun in college than any other time in my life so far. You will be around your friends and people your age for basically your whole time in college (assuming that you go to a residential school non-suitcase school).
I know a family where all three kids did a formal gap year after a VERY rigorous prep school experience. They all applied to colleges senior year and were accepted. One deferred and spent her gap year working as an intern in an especially fascinating capacity that was directly related to her major. She went on to matriculate at her ivy league school, grateful for the break that her gap year provided. The second child hadn’t been pleased with her acceptances senior year. She spent her gap year traveling/working in a country whose native language was her proposed major. She applied to different universities during the gap year, and was happier with the results. The third child deferred admission but realized during his gap year that he really wasn’t ready to go away to school, declined the deferment he’d previously accepted, and started at community college partway through his gap year. The common theme is that they all were EXHAUSTED after their extremely rigorous secondary education, and the gap year provided a much-needed breather and/or some clarity about next steps.
I think you are in a similar place. That said, I strongly agree with @bopper that you should speak with a doctor about the possibility that you might be suffering from depression. Clinical depression is real and would be important to address. You say that your biggest fear is starting college and regretting it, but a bigger concern would be showing signs of clinical depression and not addressing the possibility. So, please do support yourself by letting a professional assess you. There’s no shame in having depression, and there is help. If depression is a factor, it has nothing to do with college, and not going to college WON’T solve it. In that light, discussing with your parents how exhausted and unmotivated you’ve begun to feel, rather than focusing on the idea of college, is really important.
I hope this is helpful! I’ve seen a lot of good advice in this thread.
“I am definitely considering applying next year, deferring, and then taking a gap year.”
I think that this is definitely very much worth considering. I have seen a few students who were slightly (one or two) years older having taken a gap year or two. In most cases they were very strong students who knew why they were in university and did well. I think that a gap year before going to university would have helped me. I did take two gap years between undergrad and grad school, and I was a much stronger student in grad school (and my grades showed this).
Yeah, @yikesyikesyikes I appreciate the amazing experience that college is and my parents talk all the time about the fact that they would never trade in that time for anything. It does seem fun, but I just don’t know if I can go straight into college after high school right now. I don’t completely want to miss out on the experience but I also want to be happy I’m there in the moment and not feeling too overwhelmed.
Thank you @CardinalBobcat I appreciate all the advice. I think I explained myself incorrectly because it’s not that I’m completely unmotivated for school and I have always wanted to go to college and was thinking about it by the time I was in 8th grade and I’m motivated to do well in life (you can tell by the fact that I made this account in my freshman year I believe haha). I just think this year has been more academically difficult and I do feel like I need some kind of break. I’m also not sure just because I truly can’t see myself taking any more general classes (English, history, science) in college, which is what I’d have to do, but I’m also not loving any programs I see in trade schools. I’m just currently in a strange predicament.
If you can get credit for dual enrollment college classes in high school, or CLEP test or AP test out, that can eliminate some repetition of classes freshman year of college.
As you research colleges, figure out which ones have fewer gen ed requirements. Colleges differ from each other in so many detailed ways, yet so many families just pick the top ranked schools.
Look for the unique places that allow for more freedom to study what you want to learn, or have unique January semester to travel or take one class at the school. Lots of variety out there!
There was one school i found years ago that started you out with a semester abroad. You learned in a group setting with other freshmen from your college. Sounded like an interesting concept, but can’t remember name of the college.
That sounds so cool @powercropper if you remember what the name of the school is please let me know:)
Maybe this one? https://www.northeastern.edu/nuin/what-is-nuin/
My niece attended Queens University, located in Kingston, Ontario. She loved that she could begin her time matriculating there with a semester abroad, living in a castle in England. (I don’t know how she first learned about this school, since few US Americans have even heard of Canadian schools other than McGill.) It was a great choice for her; she traveled a lot in Europe, got a first-rate education at Queens, lived far away from her parents, and then attended an Ivy graduate program. She’s about to turn 30 now, and has a terrific career and a very fulfilling and self-directed life. Her first step toward independence was choosing this out-of-the-box school for undergrad… and it still impresses me! I’m similarly impressed by the OP’s self-awareness and resourcefulness, and I’m sure you’ll do great.
The Herstmonceaux program at Queen’s University has been running for a long time and has a great reputation in Canada.
It looks like there are a good number of first year or first semester abroad programs now, including at Northeastern, FSU, Marist, NYU, Syracuse, UDel, Bard and more. Some look like they’re run specifically by the university, others look like they’re part of broader study abroad programs that are shared by a few colleges. You’ll need to do your research to figure out which ones interest you.
One of my sons was in IB and was utterly burned out by senior year. Wish we had insisted on a gap year – I think it would have made a huge difference in his college experience. He was doing full IB plus APs – he loved the program, but it took a heavy toll.
Talking to a mental health counselor as a “check-up” could be really useful, even if you don’t believe you are depressed. When my son started having stress migraines senior year, the docs he saw told us that they see MANY students with significant school/life related stress that manifested in a variety of ways.