<p>After the sweat, toiling over papers, and immersing himself in school, we have been proud of all his accomplishments, telling him that hard work "always pays off". Now in April, one month away from graduation, it appears that everything we have believed and have told him is wrong. After all of this, he has received one scholarship from a school he absolutely will not consider. Other scholarships are not happening. I can understand the financial need is not a factor when they look at income, but no one asks about outgo of bills there are to pay. </p>
<p>Student Council President (officer every year)
NMS Commended
Eagle Scout
ACT 35 SAT 2170
GPA 3.98 unweighted (1 B in college Eng 1020 --2 B's in 13 years)
Honors classes
Math club president
community service
leadership
National essay winner
National vocabulary championship participant..
Beta
NHS
Gifted program
numerous small awards</p>
<p>Another scholarship rejection came today. He has been so involved in school and clubs, along with Scouting that there really hasn't been time to have a scheduled job and so he does not have much work experience except for a summer job and some parttime office work. Can anyone tell me what may help? We're at our wits end of how college is going to happen.</p>
<p>I read in another post that your son only applied to 2 colleges. Unfortunately, that’s where the problem lies. Outside scholarships are impossible to count on. Even if he got some decent ones, many are just for one year.</p>
<p>For a kid with your son’s stats, the strategy needed to be widely applying to schools with merit aid. A gap year may be in order so he can reapply.</p>
<p>After reading some of your other posts, you have a high EFC and your son was accepted at 1 school he doesn’t want to go to and one that you can’t afford.</p>
<p>How much is the COA and what is your EFC and what type of need does the college your kid wants to go to offer. </p>
<p>Depending on outside scholarships to pay for college is risky, many are one time payouts.</p>
<p>There are actually quite a few colleges still accepting applications. If there are other schools he likes that do offer scholarships it would be worth giving them a call. It’s possible he would get accepted for the Jan term. Sounds like your son would be an asset to many schools. What was the point of applying to a college he won’t go to?</p>
<p>I suspect your EFC is WAY higher than 3K and the school your son wants to go to doesn’t offer merit aid. Student loans are not a ‘game’ there are 2 types, Stafford, which ANYONE can get regardless of need (up to 5500 for freshmen) and Perkins which can vary by school and would never go to someone with no financial need to meet the COA of that particular school. If your COA is 50K and your EFC is 20K , you have need. If your COA and EFC is 20K, then you have no financial need for that school.</p>
<p>How much is the spread between what the college wants you to pay, plus stafford loans, possibly work study and your 3K.</p>
<p>BTW. If your EFC was really 3K you would be getting a Pell grant</p>
<p>Any parent knows…I couldn’t MAKE him go to a college he doesn’t want to go to and seriously study if there is no drive. He wanted ONE college, nothing else…the second was my idea and only as a safety. The safety offered a good scholarship (10K shy of a full ride) but he was not going to happy at a college of 500 kids when he’s dreamed all his life of going to a big college. </p>
<p>A gap year won’t be an option just because he craves knowledge, and I do not want to quench that fire. Outside scholarships may be a risk but at this point all we can do is learn from these mistakes and continue to apply for everything we can. He understands that this is not going to stop for four years…and there will be some student loans when this is all said and done. We do have a high EFC (between 30-40K…but that is more than MY income alone), but as someone told me, a little of his “skin” needs to be in the consequences too, and he will have to pull some of the wagon. </p>
<p>I guess in all truthfulness, we may not have expected a full ride, but at least SOME outside scholarships with his stats…or even some from the college he has been admitted to. It just appeared that if he could get into an Honors program, the same school would think he was eligible for a scholarship of some amount. I guess we will have to face that they may not come.</p>
<p>Does this dream school offer merit based scholarships that are NOT based on need? If the answer to that question is NO, then they were NOT going to help with your EFC. Honestly, expecting to pay 10% of your EFC is not going to work in many places. You should have had him apply to schools that either cost less or that gave merit aid regardless of need.</p>
<p>Most schools are going to expect you to pay your EFC, if you found a cheaper school that really wanted a stellar student like your son, you could have found one that would offer merit aid. </p>
<p>But the chance of you only having to pay 3K, plus 5500 in stafford loans is a financial dream for MOST people.</p>
<p>TNMom, I think that this is really your son’s problem at this point and, by not making it your problem, he’s more likely to find the solution. It was his mistake to focus exclusively on one school - rule #1 is usually something like don’t fall in love with a school you can’t afford. </p>
<p>I’m sure that he’s a very bright kid with some common sense. The quicker you say no to the unaffordable dream, the quicker he’ll move on and do what he should have done in the first place - find a school that he likes, has his program, and fits in the family budget!</p>
<p>There are many large state schools that would offer him scholarship money and be affordable. I would start there, even if it’s out of state. For example, University at Buffalo (a flagship SUNY of 27,000 students) is still accepting apps, does offer merit aid, is a well respected school in many areas, and OOS costs are under $30K. Maybe the chance to go live in NY or someplace that sounds interesting would get him over it. He does need to move quickly and not spend time on regrets.</p>
<p>Frankly TNmom, I think you’re looking at this all wrong. When you determined you could only pay a fraction of your EFC, you and your DH needed to have a sit down with your son and explain his one college approach was not a possibility that was in keeping with the family resources. Reality sometimes hurts, but it would have sunk in by now.</p>
<p>A safety is not a safety if the kid doesn’t like it. It was your DS’s job to choose safeties he could live with. College is a consumer product. Will your DS demand a Mercedes later in life when he can only afford a Honda?</p>
<p>Buying into your son’s belief that only one college can make him happy is something you should reconsider. So is the thought that his fire for learning would be put out if a gap year is necessary. Just how much ‘skin’ do you want him to have in this game? Enough to make his post graduation choices severely limited by his debt?</p>
<p>With all due respect, a reality check seems overdue for all here. Parent’s with an EFC over $30K who can contribute a tenth of it and a kid demanding one college all need reality to sink in.</p>
<p>Yeah… I was gonna say about that quenching a craving for knowledge. If it’s really a craving it doesn’t stop by virtue of being out of school for little while. Maybe that’s easier for me to say since my kids spent so little time in it before they went to college, but a lot of craving and quenching can go on with just curiosity and a library card.</p>
<p>I can’t tell if you just can’t afford your son’s desired college or if it’s just going to be really hard but you’ll find a way to make it work regardless. If you really just can’t do it, then it seems like the choices are find some schools that might provide merit aid and that accept late applications, take a year off, or choose the small safety school. All reasonable choices, just a difficult decision.</p>
<p>I hate to see this situation happen. So many people really don’t understand how the system works, don’t do the research and then it the dream falls apart when reality hits.</p>
<p>EFC is mainly based on income. This EFC is the MINIMUM amount that a family is expected to pay. In many cases, schools do not make up the differentce between COA and EFC; they gap. So, a family pays the EFC and the gap and the FA usually consists of some loans so in reality, a family (including kid’s skin in the game) is a lot higher than the initial EFC according to FAFSA. If a kid goes to a private school, many times the EFC is much higher than the FAFSA EFC because Profile schools don’t just use income and assets, they include home equity and sometimes even family cars as assets. </p>
<p>So, if before application season begins, a family determines they are not able or willing to contribute that full EFC (plus some), then the student really needs to find other ways to finance college. Taking student loans is a reasonable option to have a vested interest so student loans are typically part of the package. But at most schools, they don’t account for much. TNMom2Three, did you realize you would be expected to pay AT LEAST $30,000-$40,000? Did your son know you were only able/willing to contribute $3000 when he made his list? Many HS students just don’t understand how expensive college is. From what you told us, it would be unreasonable to expect a college to cover your EFC UNLESS your son qualified for MERIT aid, and a large merit award at that. Usually the merit awards and their minimum requirements are posted on their websites. Some merit awards have to be applied for separately. Some have earlier deadlines than the RD application deadline. Without knowing what school your son picked, it’s hard to be specific.</p>
<p>Ok. So it looks like you thought he could win some local scholarships. That seemed reasonable. BUT did you realize that many times local scholarships are based not only on merit but also need? I didn’t know that initially but upon reading the “small print”. Another heartbreaker we learned is that most local scholarships are only available for the first year. So, after that, what does the student do? If he’s lucky, the scholarships are renewable but truthfully, those are not the norm. Sometimes the one year scholarships can be deferred to a later school year, but those are not the norm, either.</p>
<p>I agree with those who suggest your son take another look at schools still taking apps and maybe find a better financial “fit.”</p>
<p>A friend of our D’s applied for 25 different scholarships (she has excellent stats). So far the only one scholarships she has gotten are merit awards from various colleges (and she applied to something like 14 schools!): she has not gotten one independent/outside scholarship. So many applicants also have excellent stats.</p>
<p>We took a different tack – no outside scholarships, but we targeted only schools that would give merit aid, assuming they were the better bet to get $$. That was not a lot more fruitful – out of 6 schools, she got (substantial) merit aid at two of them. But one of them is still probably out of reach. </p>
<p>We too have been surprised at how hard it has been for kids with outstanding scores, grades, and activities to get scholarships. I still think institutional awards are the better way to go – but you have to be willing to shift your sights to sometimes lesser known schools.</p>
<p>just wondering, but if he has such a thirst for knowledge, why is he so against the 2nd school he was accepted to? I also don’t know what he thinks your other options are. I am in the same boat, except you care about your son’s education, whereas mine do not.
He didn’t get scholarships, you cannot contribute the amt of money needed to cover tuition. The end. Community colleges can get down to 3k if he gets a few outside scholarships.
Also, if he wants this bad enough, he should be putting in the hours as I am, looking for scholarships and thinkin about community college.
Good lucky…truly!</p>
<p>Well, let me jump in here, and forgive me if this was already covered in another thread, but is there a state university available? UT is pretty large, no? Have you thought of setting these two schools aside and starting over from an affordable ground zero? </p>
<p>Is 3K your total available budget for your son’s first year of college?</p>
<p>Why so judgmental??? A high EFC of 30k-40k does not mean 3 cars - and even if it does, perhaps all 3 are necessary (i.e. 1 dependent of a higher age that had the car to commute to college, 2 parents who go to work). A high EFC 30-40k does NOT mean a vacation home… you’re crazy…!</p>
<p>Perhaps they need the money for paying off mortgage or property taxes. Sheesh!</p>
<p>But saying that you only can afford 10% (at most) of your EFC is going to be a problem when paying for many colleges unless you go to community college or are a commuter student at a state U or go to school on a merit scholarship that is given out regardless of need.</p>
<p>It appears the ONE school the OP’s son wants to go to doesn’t give merit aid when there is little financial need according to the EFC.</p>
<p>My son goes to a 50K+ school, even with his scholarships of 30K, stafford, perkins and work study, I’m still paying more than my EFC of 12K</p>
<p>IMO, it is unrealistic to have EXPECTED to only pay 3K towards college with an EFC of 40-40K. Sure a few kids get completely full rides, but those are few and far between and I bet they don’t go to people with EFCs of 30-40K very often</p>
<p>I am not sure to which schools your son applied, but big financial aid awards that include merit scholarships and grant money come from schools that are trying to woo your son…that would be schools that want him more than he needs them.</p>
<p>-schools where he is “over” qualified
-schools that want one of his special talents (a band that needs trombones, a soccer team that needs some forwards)
-schools where he fills a niche (the right sex, the right ethnicity, the right income bracket)
-schools that have large endowments and can afford to give away a lot of money (not to many of those these days)</p>
<p>EFCs can be tough to meet. Ours is about 25% of our take home pay and that is a hardship. But my son’s schools all met the EFC and luckily, two schools that he really like exceeded it.</p>
<p>Your son might really benefit from a gap year to find himself, expand his horizons, travel, volunteer, take some classes and then reapply next year with more information about the process and away from he pressure of the HS graduation “where are you going?”</p>