<p>Sue, I am with you on the pain of having a materialistic child. My D is about the $ and the “stuff” all the way. My S is the complete opposite, as are H & I. Both kids were the same way. Go figure.</p>
<p>I am with those who have suggested that you contribute exactly the amount that you want to give, and no more. Pay your share directly to tuition, room/board, and if you are willing to give more, then dole it out once a month or whatever works for you, and then don’t give any more. I wouldn’t want to get involved in the power struggles that will arise if you request/demand that he spend money in certain ways. You can’t win that one. You can only change your behavior, i.e., by controlling how much money you give.</p>
<p>As long as your S knows exactly what you will do and you follow through consistently, he will learn many life lessons. He will have only himself to blame if he overspends in one area and doesn’t have enough left in another. I predict that he’ll figure it out fast.</p>