What if your kid picks a profession that will never make any money?

If you do not have that high income, but your neighborhood becomes more expensive over decades while you live there (because higher income people move in), you may find that tradespeople become more expensive when quoting prices for jobs in the neighborhood. In that case, there may be more incentive to DIY than there was before.

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Not just DIY. Basics become fancier.

At 30 your son is old enough to make his own decisions and old enough for you to support those decisions but not support him financially. As long as he’s happy and capable of earning a living in his chosen path then I see no reason not to be happy for him. That being said - if he is unhappy or in financial trouble and reaches out to you for advice you have your opening to advise him.

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Just read that linked article and was thinking to myself, that sounds like where a lot of my college friends lived in the early 90s, then I read further along and realized it was the same place (Normandie Court). I went to college in NYC, then when we graduated, most of us working in NYC first lived in Hoboken. After a year we all migrated to Manhattan where Normandie Court was extremely popular. So many from my college lived there that it really did seem like being back in a dorm. I, OTOH, lived with two friends in a railroad apartment in Yorkville on E. 83rd St. Loved that neighborhood - wish I could remember how much I paid in rent. Wonder what it is now.

If it means that you choose more expensive things merely because people with more money move into the neighborhood, that is a personal preference, not a requirement.

@ucbalumnus, we lived for 25 years in a the lesser part of a tony suburb. Originally, it had been the policemen and firemen I think and, if I understand it right, a more Catholic neighborhood relative to the WASPy other part of town. We had a teacher, an engineer, a public radio announcer, an IT guy, a development economist, and a librarian as neighbors whereas the other neighborhood was filled with finance folks and senior biotech execs. My income was probably closer to the other part of town but ShawWife and I thought that it would be better for our kids if they didn’t grow up with kids who thought going to the Cayman Islands over spring break was a birthright or who got a Fender guitar to begin guitar lessons (both are kids of friends from the higher priced part of town).

The tradespeople definitely raised their prices when they got to our town and especially to the other part of town.

We bought the largest house on the street (and probably in the neighborhood) and added 1000 sf, but we kept the costs really under control. Over time, the houses in the neighborhood got bigger and bigger and our house was far from the largest. And, software engineers and biotech types moved in, though a bit younger than in the higher-priced neighborhoods.

After the kids left the nest we wanted to downsize and a couple of years ago, ShawWife and I finally found a house we both agreed on because the lot was spectacular although the house was way bigger than we needed. But, the houses on this street are huge and getting huger. Landscapers trucks line the street every week day. And to your point, ShawWife asked one of the gardeners if they could do a small job for her and they quoted $2000. She asked him how many hours he thought it would take and he agreed it would take at most four hours. ShawWife told him we were not interested and he tried to lower the price but she just said that she would not work with him. What I had never seen before was at Christmas time, the Christmas lights were hung by companies.

So, we’ve got several things: 1) prices are higher in a tony town; 2) the neighborhoods get richer over time; 3) the pricing in the tonier neighborhoods is even higher; and 4) it becomes normal to pay for things (German cars) and services (landscapers, Christmas light hangers, etc.).

I think being in the less tony part of town was good for the kids growing up and enabled us to save a lot more than we might have saved had we lived all along in the higher-priced part of town.

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No, I meant that basic grocery stores can disappear as a neighborhood gentrifies.

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One of my neighbors’ landscapers brought me his business card once while I was mowing my yard! We are 1 of only 2 households who do it ourselves.

Another thing that disappears is mass transit. We were on the bus route 20 yrs ago, but no longer as the fields were developed into giant houses with BMWs in the driveways.

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Both of my kids say they are forgoing parenthood. Not because of money…because of kids. :laughing:

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That’s my S! :rofl:

I just saw this and thought of your son. It seems there is a lot more to the National Park Service than I ever would have thought.

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Our family saw one of Betty Soskin’s talks before she retired at the Rosie the Riveter National historic monument. It was one of the most impactful talks I have ever attended. She is a national treasure.

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Thank you for sharing your personal insight. It sounds like we could use many more like her.

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My son helped me with computer work, especially when I was preparing for a talk. If I had paid him, I could have started him on a Roth then. I didn’t do that u til he earned $ in college. Is there anything you could pay son for?

I have recently been thinking about parenthood. During the height of Covid I often thought how lucky I was that I was in the stage of life where I wasn’t dealing with virtual learning/teaching my children from home. I would imagine the challenges that so many of my neighbors were dealing with…whether their kids were little or high school aged. I had friends who had kids finishing up college. Everyone was affected, but my thoughts often were directed at parents.

Then my mind would wander and think about how the situation was affecting young adults in their 20s…my kids’, their friends’ and most of my nephews/nieces’ age. Would they choose parenthood?

A few weeks ago as I was browsing for books to read I ran across Regretting Motherhood by Orna Donath. I shared a description on the book thread.
”A provocative and deeply important study of women’s lives, women’s choices—and an ‘unspoken taboo’—that questions the societal pressures forcing women into motherhood.”
I read it, not because I was questioning my decision to become a mother many years ago, but because I found the idea of choice and taboo provocative.

Personally, DH and I made the decision to start trying to have a family when we thought we were “ready”. However after reading the book and thinking of the mid-to-late 20s age group, I realize that while we were consciously choosing when to try, we grew up not really considering the choice of “if and why have children.” I hope that distinction makes sense.

I’m actually happy my kids and by extension their age group are more likely to consider both questions concerning parenthood.

I’ll add one more thing I found interesting when reading the book. The author made a distinction between motherhood as a role versus a relationship. While I think I did a pretty good job raising my kids, I see that I may have approached motherhood as a role. I think now that they’re not living under our roof and are financially independent, I’ve had to transition away from my previous role (not always an easy thing) and more to cultivating a special adult (mother) relationship with them.

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Great idea for a thread. Parenting: role or relationship

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Gotta admit though–motherhood is a profession of sorts that will never make any money.

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Ummm, not sure I’m understanding that? Plenty of moms who undertake motherhood are making $$$……

Not to mention that their are moms who make $$$ off of motherhood in the form of providing child care for others, home businesses like baking for other families, etc….

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Choosing to be an at-home parent to one’s child is not compensated. Yes, millions of mothers combine parenting with other full-time or part-time paid employment or side gigs, but parenting itself is uncompensated.

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I’m questioning whether this generation is happier than previous generation, that’s the key measure.

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