I am dealing with my own anxiety about the career path my 30 year old son has chosen. I know this isn’t really my business and it’s out of my hands, but still I worry. He went to a great college where he majored in geology, afterwards he did a bunch of adventurous things, went to graduate school for geology and then decided to change course completely. We always told him to follow his passion, so I can’t say much. He’s now working for the National Park Service and he really loves it, he’s an education and interpretive ranger, which sounds great, but the NPS is totally screwed up after years of being underfunded and a political football. The pay is low and the chances for advancement hard to come by. I’m afraid he’ll be middle aged without any resources. I’d love to hear from parents whose kids have chosen difficult career paths. How do you cope?
I know one person who works as a park ranger. He and his family live in a beautiful log cabin home in the park, and it is fully paid for.
I have one kid who is a federal employee and LOVES it. Left a very high paid job in the private sector, and left more than cash on the table (prestige, fantastic benefits).
My kid is one of the few of his cohort who really and truly loves what he does. Not just the colleagues (who he describes as super smart, incredibly ethical, really motivating to work with) but also the idealism (he was in HS in NYC during 9/11).
Spouse and I prioritized financial security throughout our careers (never turned down a promotion, had several jobs with terrible work/life balance) so I guess this is the pendulum swinging the other way- getting up every day with a sense of purpose, feeling like your work really matters, trying to do good in a world with a lot of evil.
So I’ve put my anxiety aside for now. If it gets to the point where he’s no longer energized by the job and the path- time for a discussion. But for now, it’s kind of a thrill to see someone who figured it out. I’ve got friends who worry that their sons (same general ages as mine) drink too much, have put on tons of weight due to hating their stressful jobs but are making too much money to leave, can’t maintain a relationship, etc. And I’m grateful that my “not always practical but very idealistic” kid has a happy life, solid marriage, kids, and a job which inspires him.
I still remember the ranger talks at both the Grand Canyon and Volcano National Park in Hawaii. Those rangers were BRILLIANT and awe-inspiring. We’d be a much poorer country if geologists like your son weren’t able to share their knowledge with the public!!!
Hugs… been there…
I know one person who worked as a park ranger. After few years he got married, had a family and opened his own mitigation company that is doing really well.
Yes, park rangers who work for state parks are often allowed to stay in one place for their whole careers. It depends on the which state. The NPS has a weird system where rangers must work seasonal jobs (6 months) for the equivalent of 2+ years in the job before they can even apply for permanent positions. Sometimes they are only hired for one 6 month position in a year, so it takes several years to accrue the number of months they require. And, the permanent positions are few and far between. So far he’s been hired summer and winter so he’s doing well within the system, but he moves every 6 months. Maybe he’ll consider switching to a state system at some point. The NPS has a weird system that needs reforming.
Have a relative who dreamed of working in national parks, got an associates related to this while working food service and related jobs at Yellowstone out of high school, then eventually got a job with benefits making snow and doing summer maintenance at a major ski resort. The main downside is that it is expensive to find housing, but he has a significant other to help. Not going to be rich for sure but he loves the mountains.
Thanks! I needed that.
Wondering what YOUR ideal $$ expectations are for your son. I mean, there are plenty of occupations that are fully satisfying but land you working with a middle class salary - is that enough or no???
If your son is 30 I’m assuming he has had some years to adult - pay loans, bills, have $ for entertainment…if he is not complaining and he is handling these expenses maybe he’s ok with that.
I find people that come from competitive fields that increase in salary or climbing a ladder is common place, don’t understand that that is NOT the case in all fields - like education or non-profit.
Not to focus on the park ranger job - because as mentioned many jobs could create this same scenario, but my husband was a park ranger for 35 years for a local Metropark system and made a decent salary. State pension and perks. He loved his job and had so many people admire and frankly be jealous of that work life (which was not all peachy keen! He carried a gun and there are lots of wackos at parks!) .
A phrase I don’t especially like, but that is applicable here: Money doesn’t buy happiness.
Well said! And I’ve known people in well paying jobs who’ve had to deal with major health issues, mental issues, etc.
You said ‘he loves’ it. What are the surveys that we see - most don’t love what they do. Some may like or tolerate - but most don’t love.
If he’s making more than it costs to live….I want his life.
Thanks for your input and relating your husbands experience. What I hope for my son is that he’ll land safely in the middle class. At his current salary it’ll be a long time before he can afford to buy a house are feed a family.
D’s good friend got a teaching degree & realized very early on that she didn’t want to be a teacher. She had worked at a state park every summer in high school & college, so she decided to move to Washington and work for the Parks service. Flash forward 11 years, and she still works for the NPS. She got married to a fellow NPS employee, and they are wildly happy “living off the land,” as my D puts it. If your S is half as satisfied with his life as D’s friend, he is a lucky man.
The important thing to understand is that while our instincts to protect our children never stop, we have to let go & allow them to live their own lives as adults. This means that they might make mistakes, and it also means that they will have to figure out how to recover from their mistakes. I struggle with worrying about my 30 year old S sometimes, but it helps when I ask myself what I would have thought about my parents concerning themselves with my life choices when I was 30. The answer is always: I would have hated it - I was an adult, and I was living my own adult life. Then I relax & realize that I raised him well, and he’s got this.
Thanks, that’s great! You point out that there are other options to related careers.
Well, that is harder and harder to do these days. But, I’d say as long as your son is happy and likes his job, that’s what matters. Is he struggling with money? Also, does he want to have a family? And buying a house isn’t the be all and the end all. Sometimes you have to step back and let your adult children live their lives and make their own decisions.
My son and his wife are both in the EMS field where they do critical work for society but the pay stinks. I am way more frustrated in the lack of funding to pay people who literally save lives every day than I am by their choice of profession. S is very bright but was never interested in the business world or a desk job. He went to college planning to be a HS history teacher but realized halfway through that his heart wasn’t into it. He had taken an EMT class on campus and LOVED it… so dropped out and followed that passion. He met his wife at work and at age 28 is married with a 10 month old daughter (so no opportunity to save $$ before starting a family.) His wife is now a Field Training Officer and he is a Flight Medic. Together they make a middle class income with decent benefits but money will always be tight for them. Right now they are in a house that is too small for their needs, and H and I are working on a plan to support their purchase of a larger home. We know we may have to help them with any bigger unexpected expenses that may come up (home repair, medical, schooling, etc.) We are ok with that and glad we have the means to help. S will almost certainly go back to school for an advanced degree but right now that’s hard with a shift schedule and a new baby. They are VERY fortunate that they have multiple family members available to help with childcare. Not sure how they would do it without them! When I find myself worrying about them and second-guessing the paths that led my S to this place, I refocus on my pride in the work he does, the success he and DIL are having in their careers, their happy marriage and how well they are doing with parenting.
My kid does not own a house. Feeds the family- yes. Second income with a spouse- yes. Home ownership doesn’t seem to be a priority for this generation the way it was for ours and our parents!
A colleague of mine is a highly successful executive coach. She’s retained by companies (big and small) to help create “performance breakthroughs” for senior leaders. She is NOT a therapist, but usually recommends that her clients find a therapist in addition to working with the coach. She reports that there is so much dysfunction among successful people who have spent years climbing the ladder-- and ask her “what do I have to show for it besides a fancy watch, a big house I don’t have time to enjoy, and miserable children?”
So perhaps find a way to celebrate your son’s conscious choices. Spend the days in nature. Have colleagues who care about the environment as much as you do. Know that you are part of a bigger enterprise which is trying to preserve what we have for future generations…
And there are always operations/horticulture roles at zoos, aquariums, botanical gardens, etc. many of which do not have the funky system the NPS has… if you work for a botanical garden, (Arnold Arboretum? Bronx BG?) it’s a 52 week a year job (with vacation of course), great benefits, straight salary…
So there will be options for him if/when he decides to step off the NPS ladder!
My hubby did the responsible thing and followed the money instead of his true passion. He has regretted it his entire life and is basically trapped at this point till retirement.
Trust me the money is not worth it.
I don’t know anyone who really and truly LOVES their job. Well maybe one person. That is so priceless.
Thanks for the reply, I love getting good NPS stories. Oh boy, I do know it’s his life, and I say nothing to him but encouraging things., I’m not crazy. I just need a few other parents, like you, telling me to buck up because I can’t express my concerns to him.
Thanks so much! Good luck to you all. You’ve helped me a lot!
Good points! You’ve made my day, thanks.