<p>Because I have 2 girls who just finished their freshman years at different schools, I see that their experiences have been like night and day. I also have a h.s. junior who will be beginning the search process (whether he likes it or not ;)) soon. We're all looking for the right fit, so can a student have a "normal" experience only if the school is right? Or are there some common experiences that all college students should have?</p>
<p>The "average" undergraduate college student is 24 1/2 years old. They are more likely than not to commute to school, live in an apartment, but not at home or in a dorm. They are likely to be working part-time, and a signficant portion full-time, in addition to their college studies. Their choice of college is driven first-and-foremost by finances, and, secondarily, by availability of major. The majority take more than 4 years to finish, and will have significant debt upon graduation. </p>
<p>Virtually all college students will have had sex, with multiple partners, hopefully not at the same time. ;)</p>
<p>I think they should all learn to do their own laundry.</p>
<p>Well, I sure would throw USMA out of the normal range. UIUC is pretty normal for a big school. Tad on the dull side but OK.</p>
<p>This is a good question.</p>
<p>I think the perception of the ideal "college experience" is more driven by media like Revenge of the Nerds and Gilmore Girls than by the actual felt experience of most people. </p>
<p>With that said, I think there's no real "college experience". If the question is, what is the "normal" work experience, what would you say? I don't think there's a good answer to either question. The mean does not do a good job of representing this disparate a data set. ;)</p>
<p>For the 18-22 year olds...Sex, drugs and the music of the day. A little academics. A sense of freedom, but it isn't complete because the kids are not financially independant and they do have classes. A feeling of immortality. </p>
<p>Then, there are the parents concerned about their kids even though the parents engaged in the same behaviors. :) Maybe that is why the parents are concerned. :)</p>
<p>I don't think there is a universal college experience in the sense that "everyone" goes to fall football games and sorority parties, struggles in chemistry class, or wears certain clothes and reads certain books. However, I do think the normal college experience for a recent high school graduate means taking the first steps away from home:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Being responsible for yourself - setting the alarm, going to school, eating, cleaning up, socializing, completing assignments on time, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>Figuring out the best way to adapt to a new environment, make new friends, and live without your family.</p></li>
<li><p>Learning how to make good decisions without curfews and parents to nag them.</p></li>
<li><p>Knowing when and who to ask for help when it's needed.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>We hope our children are learning how to do these things before college but I think going to college is a big step in the process.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I think they should all learn to do their own laundry.
[/quote]
Well, it turns out now that my daughter's college offers a laundry service. For about $450 for the year, they will wash & fold one bag of clothes a week. For about $100, they provide a linen service - fresh sheets & towels every week. (My daughter, who has done her own laundry for years, was not interested). But it looks like at least some college students don't even have to do their own laundry.</p>
<p>My S's first year experience has been one of great social activity, social bonding, and most of all, tremendous intellectual growth. He discovered a love for the classics, especially Greek thought and literature, a fuller understanding of the power and beauty of mathematical & scientific investigation, and a much more complete understanding of the role of inquiry and argument in learning beyond the texts. In all, it was a magical year for him, even if he had to do his own laundry and travel a mile from his dorm (which he loves) to his dining hall.</p>
<p>momoftwins, I'm interested in how different you daughters' years turned out to be. When you say night and day, does that mean one was bad and one was good, or one college was a great fit and one was not? Or just that they were very different? If you don't mind sharing... :)</p>
<p>Army lost to Navy in football -- what could be more normal than that?</p>
<p>Sorry, but that was too easy. I think DRJ4 hit it on the nose.</p>
<p>S also goes to a SA and has had a great year. Different from his friends, but nothing in that experience has made him think any less of his friends than before and visa versa, he's also made new ones at the academy.</p>
<p>All his friends have stories about what their colleges are like. They are all envious of certain things he gets to do and at the same time glad they don't go through some of the stuff he goes through. And the same is true for him with regard to the experiences of his friends.</p>
<p>If our kids are happy and challenged and learning it doesn't get better than that. While that might not be normal, it works for me.</p>
<p>Give your D a big HOOAH! for me and tell her thanks for serving.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
Well, it turns out now that my daughter's college offers a laundry service. For about $450 for the year, they will wash & fold one bag of clothes a week. For about $100, they provide a linen service - fresh sheets & towels every week. (My daughter, who has done her own laundry for years, was not interested). But it looks like at least some college students don't even have to do their own laundry
[/QUOTE]
</p>
<p>All kids should know how to do their own laundry; it's sad if they don't. unless something is dry-clean only, a student should be able to spend <2hrs each week doing their own laundry. It is not that tough; if your child can't handle that themselves, then you really should question how prepared they are for living away at all.</p>
<p>momof2inca,</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, both girls had fabulous first years. It's just that the experiences they had were extremely different. Twin A (the firstborn) is artistic and analytical. She wanted to major in and ultimately work in a field that would allow for a combination of creativity and analytical abilities. Just before senior year of high school began, she decided to pursue architecture. She is very happy with the U of Illinois and its program. Although she didn't take the arch or even art classes in high school, she is pursuing her classes with passion. As expected, the passion led to great grades. This is all I could hope for. She loves her dorm and has made friends. She is excited about her study abroad program that will take place next year in Europe - yup, a whole year. She somehow landed an internship this summer and is working in a small architectural office actually participating in the design process. All in all, it's been terrific.</p>
<p>Twin B was a freshman in high school and already worried that she didn't know what she would do with her life. After 9/11 she knew that she wanted to be involved in anti-terrorism efforts - somehow. During sophomore year, when we began receiving double brochures from so many schools, the jokes in our house were about the girl under the tree studying, the classes outside in a circle, and basically the formula copywriting in the brochures. (I'm sure you know exactly what I mean.) Then one day a brochure showed up with kids in camo, marching in uniforms, rapelling down mountains, climbing out of helicopters, and guaranteed jobs after graduation. She was intrigued and started researching USMA while her sister told her she was nuts. Slowly but surely she formulated her plan. In order to work in the intelligence community (which suddenly so many new college grads wanted to do) and help to prevent another 9/11, she wanted to prepare the best way possible. She thought by attending one of the service academies, branching military intelligence and having a minimum of 5 years MI experience - perhaps quite a bit more, she would be a compelling candidate for a CIA-type organization. What has she done? Lots of camo, pushups, rapelling, running, and tough academics. She was even invited to sing at the White House. She's proud to be part of what she considers the ultimate community service organization and knows that she is positioning herself for exactly the career she wants. </p>
<p>Life is different. At the U of I a student can eat anywhere and at anytime. You can skip class (she better not ;)) and you can stay up as late as you want. At West Point, there is no cutting class. And you get up early for breakfast formation. All 4000+ cadets eat breakfast and lunch together. Every cadet participates in a sport (varsity, club or intramural). No fitness training is required at Illinois. They are both challenged and excited about their challenges. And they would hate to be in their sister's shoes.</p>
<p>If they're happy, I'm happy - even though there was a lot of angst getting to this point. And even though I do the laundry when they're home. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>momoftwins, It sounds like each D is having the experience that is right for her. I don't think there is one experience, or set of experiences, that each person must go through in order to have a "good" college experience.</p>
<p>My first son went to a top college, took a wide variety of classes, started out in engineering, ended up in Japanese, and loved it. My second son attends a university strong in music, takes almost all music classes, eats and breathes music, and loves it. Each has met new people and new ideas, matured, and learned more about who he is and who he wants to be. Whether one experience is more "normal" than the other hardly matters; each is receiving (or has received) what he needs.</p>
<p>And that's just why I asked the question. Like your sons, both of my daughters are having exactly the right experience for themselves. I admit that I can understand why certain people may ask if my cadet doesn't miss having a "normal college experience". However, I'm puzzled when people are surprised that my budding architect hasn't been to a bar at the U of I and doesn't drink. (And yes, she's telling me the truth.) She also has no interest in football, basketball, or Greek life. They ask why she isn't interested in a "normal college experience". Why bother going to the U of I if you don't drink at sporting events with your sorority friends?</p>
<p>There is no "norm"--it's why I sometimes get frustrated seeing people talk about a particular type of school, be it large public, LAC, Ivy League or any other, as the "most" desireable. Different kids have different norms, different expectations and different needs. It's about whatever it takes to transition them into being mature, responsible adults who make reasoned choices about life situations. That carries with it different requirements--my oldest daughter, for example, needs to learn to do her own laundry, but not what it will take to succeed in her chosen career (journalism), while my younger daughter is just the opposite--very capable of taking care of herself, even at 11 years old, but seemingly less understanding than than my oldest (when she was 11, as well as now) about about how hard you have to work in areas of interest to accomplish what she wants educationally and careerwise. My son--completely different the other two. I'd suspect far different college lists, needs and experiences for each.</p>
<p>dadtimesthree: D1 is a journalism grad -- she found a lady in NYC to do all her laundry for $12 every 10 days-2 weeks. Fluff and fold, hang to dry, etc. cheaper than the laundromat and it takes less time. Busy, busy, busy.
When she was looking at colleges, she only wanted NYU. Had to be in the city. Didn't care about a college experience.
D2 wouldn't have gone to NYU on a bet. Loves the city but wanted a campus life and traditional college experience. Hates to do laundry. Would work and extra job if someone would do it for her.
"Normal" is what fits for each kid.</p>
<p>"she found a lady in NYC to do all her laundry for $12 every 10 days-2 weeks. Fluff and fold, hang to dry,"</p>
<p>Holy Cow, does this woman have a laundry fetish? 12$ for two weeks of laundry---that's virtually free! Perhaps she's an illegal who works for anything she can get, as long as she can manage to stay "under the radar" ;)</p>