<p>We've been flipping through a copy of Marilyn vos Savant's "Growing Up, A Classic American Childhood" which lists over 1000 things a young person should have experienced or know before leaving home....Many are quite practical and while others are simply silly and fun. </p>
<p>With our S. leaving home in a little over 6 months we realize our hands on teaching time will end soon. Our S. probably realizes this to some extent and has been doing a lot of things he won't be able to do next year like spending time with a younger brother and playing with a dog he used to ignore.</p>
<p>On the practical side my W. and I have been pointing out health and money matters. We're working on getting the necktie right. </p>
<p>On the American experience side we realized he's never ridden a horse...I spent a good part of my summers as a youth on horses....how did I never make time to take my son horseback riding?</p>
<p>My Grandmother has that book at her house. We looked at it last summer when we stayed with her for a couple weeks. I had never been on a sailboat so my grandmother had a friend take me and my sisters out. I was surprised how you could feel the strength of even a light wind as it filled the sail. Of course my dad liked all the safety items. He had us try getting out of the house blindfolded (in case of a fire). Then a couple of months later there were those fires in the frat houses.</p>
<p>Balance a checkbook, establish good credit w/ credit card, manage finances. Cook simple cheap food (beans from scratch, noodles, scrambled eggs.) Clean out the stopper of the sink when the sink won't drain. Unclog a toilet using a toilet plunger. Recognize signs of illnesses needing doctor's care. Record keeping skills for medical, bills - (how to set up a simple filing system...) How to file income tax forms.</p>
<p>Kids going to colleges with dining plans don't actually need to know how to cook-though it wouldn't hurt. They need to know how to use common sense, women need to know about date rape and how to avoid it and that you can get pregnant even if it's only once, wouldn't hurt men to know how to avoid committing the former and causing the latter also. Same goes for AIDS/STD avoidance. I second balancing a checkbook and laundry. They need to know how to be generous and thoughtful and courteous but also know how to not let themselves be exploited--when to say yes and when to say no. How to set priorities but retain perspective and flexibility. Any practical task you can't perform yet can be learned when needed.</p>
<p>I've only been moderately successful doing this myself, but I think that it's a shame if you don't teach your kid the 'family skills'. Every parent has special/strange/unique things that they do and it's neat to pass that on. Think anything musical, athletic, potential circus acts (judggling, etc.), car maintenance, blacksmithing, baking (bread, doughnuts, things that not everyone knows how to make), things involving animals (how to ride a horse, milk a sheep, train a dog to heel), memorize a few good poems. My kids don't practice it, but they've each learned to make a basket and can weave on a floor loom. Many years from now, they might decide to take it up again, because they've done it once and know what it is. If they don't, at least they have that little bit of knowledge tucked away - it could come in handy doing crossword puzzles.</p>
<p>well they have both swam in the ocean
( one in costa rica the other in Hawai'i)
They both know how to ride ...bikes and horses
change fuses-wash a dog-mow the grass
knit- cook a meal-
Ride a city bus- read a map
Put up a tent, build a fire in the rain.
do laundry and most of the time take the clean stuff out of basket before the dirty stuff goes in.
both know how to ski and the youngest knows the basics of surfing and is a pretty decent snowboarder
they have built a snow cave and have gone hiking ( locally and *Costa Rica, Canyonlands & Maui *)
They actually are much more prepared for life than I was when I moved out on my own at 17, they will be fine :)</p>
<p>I'm going to sign our S up this summer for a one-day finance class and a cooking class at the local college. And I'm going to find a good book on manners and insist that he read it this summer so that he won't embarass himself if he is invited to his roommate's parents house or to dine with a professor or something. We all are very casual out west, but if he goes east or midwest, I think it might be a problem.</p>
<p>"They need to know how to be generous and thoughtful and courteous but also know how to not let themselves be exploited--when to say yes and when to say no. How to set priorities but retain perspective and flexibility. Any practical task you can't perform yet can be learned when needed."
Excellent advice, pyewacket. The practical things can be learned, and will be learned, when needed. The lessons of boundaries and courtesy need to be taught before leaving home.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>MEDS. Know what to do in every kind of medical or health emergency -- who to contact, what insurance to use, etc. If the student is on a regular Rx, make sure the system is in place for filling it.</p></li>
<li><p>BANKING. Basic banking setup, emergency cash, cash for travel.</p></li>
<li><p>PRIORITIZE. First things first -- get well into your courses and your academics, get a good schedule and plan for meeting deadlines, find out where you can do your schoolwork most effectively (dorm, library, etc.). Then all your EC's and socializing can fall into place and hopefully not displace your academics.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Sew on a button. I recently found one of my daughter's shirts in the trash - when I asked her about it, she said she threw it away because it was missing buttons and she didn't know how to sew them back on. Umph.</p>
<p>We just had a senior class parents PTO meeting on this very topic. As soon as the minutes get published, I'll be happy to post them.</p>
<p>Some of the ones I remember:</p>
<p>Provide a resource list of friends and family in the area with names, addresses, phone numbers, e-mail addresses so that if your child is uncomfortable seeking your advice, (s)he can talk with someone else.</p>
<p>Know how to write a check . . . and to do it in pen! (Some kids have been known to write it in pencil.)</p>
<p>My D and I took a RAD (rape aggression defense course) course together. The local police dept. offered it for free--three nights. I felt a lot better knowing that she was comfortable defending herself against an aggressor long enough to get away. And I learned a lot myself.</p>
<p>Provide a sewing kit. S admitted that the one I gave him when he went off to college came in handy for mending socks.</p>
<p>[ul][<em>]How to wake themselves up in time for class without parental assistance.[</em>]That money doesn't grow on credit cards.<br>
My understanding is that they will be offered these. Our S has had a credit card to "use" for a few years (our account) but knows that for every use, he has to plunk the cash down on my table. Ergo, he knows it's a transaction method, not a source of free money.[/ul]Many of the other important ones have been listed. And Marilyn vos Savant posted a short list in her column a few years ago, which I have been using as a "check-off" for some years. It's sensible and fun at the same time!</p>
<p>Even I don't mend socks (!) Though I'm lucky if I still can find the matching sock in the pair by the time I have one with a hole in it.</p>
<hr>
<p>For my kids, airport skills have come in handy: knowing how to make plane reservations, navigating baggage checks, airport security, finding one's way from one terminal to the next, clearing customs when traveling internationally, filling out customs docs, keeping track of the passport, dealing with lost luggage, making alternate arrangements when flights are delayed or cancelled.</p>
<p>I don't mend socks either- and I choose my clothes carefully so I don't have to iron.</p>
<p>My daughter does do her wash I am assuming- but when she was in costa rica she was with a group that bought underwear instead of having to rinse it out!</p>