All of these included party invites. Not big ones - just little gatherings/drop ins at their home. Even for the grad school one.
Edit: I would say the norm/expectation where I was when ds was in high school was to send a gift if one received an announcement. Don’t know about other parts of the country.
We did send announcements to relatives and friends who sent me announcements. I didn’t want to be doing a money grab, but figured if they sent me an announcement in past years I would return the favor.
How did some of y’all not know graduation announcements were a thing? I am still getting emails from companies like Herff-Jones and Strawbridge about Class of 2022 graduation stuff and my kid graduated in May! I didn’t do those announcements they wanted me to buy, either, just made up some on Shutterfly.
As far as being the parent of an only I have two kids, but my good friend has one. She has never mentioned feeling that the gift giving was unfair. I would suggest if it’s a financial sticking point for you, just halve or cut in thirds the gift you might give if that family had only one child. Because otherwise what are you expecting your friends to do — only send out an announcement for one of their kids but not the other ones? Just send what you can and if that’s just a card that’s fine. I agree that sending out an announcement for every milestone accomplished once they are adults is a bit over the top. If you are close to these folks you will hear about the accomplishments anyway and can give a gift or send some best wishes as you feel moved to, but seems kinda weird for parents of a 25 year old to still be sending out announcements on behalf of their adult kids.
My friend with the only did think it was a bit much that her cousin had a graduation party in June for her son and then a going to college party in August for him too. She sent her regrets to the second one.
No, I don’t expect that they would only send an announcement for an eldest child. There isn’t a, “solution,” for it. It is what it is. I’m not going to send less to the kids. I have the resources to give each of them what I feel is customary for our closeness to the family. I’m just pointing out that it adds up. We have other close friends who have four kids. I have sent high school graduation gifts ($$) to all four and wedding gifts to two with two more to go in the future, I’m sure.
I’m just pointing out the discrepancy. I don’t think it’s something that people with larger families ever think about. They probably shouldn’t.
I know it was a bigger deal for my mom when I was a young person because most people had more kids back then. I can think of only one other only child I knew growing up. Having only one or two kids is much more common now.
I agree with you about people being surprised about not knowing about graduation announcements! I thought that was still done by all. Like you, we did photo cards ourselves. But some folks still buy the traditional ones that have the little calling cards inserted in them along with a piece of tissue paper.
We had a high school graduation picnic for our kids…inviting our neighbors and good friends. Family had been at the graduation. The kids invited their friends too.
We specifically said NO GIFTS.
Something to think about, I have 5 kids, I can’t tell you how many gifts I’ve purchased for all of their friends, birthday parties, graduation parties, how much I’ve spent on their parties. Kids are expensive, I suspect our finances would be quite different if we just had 1.
Oh, around here is just a photo card with info on what the graduate is doing after HS.
There is usually a backyard party/bbq and sometimes multiple kids will combine the party so it’s just one big bbq. It is all very laidback and no formal invites, usually just a group text.
Perhaps this is a regional thing in some places?
Growing up in Central CA, I had no announcement, no party and received $0. Same for all my friends and I can’t recall ever getting an announcement. There were parties, but it was just for the kids and didn’t involve any gifts.
Same is true now where I live in Central NJ. No one sends announcements. No one exchanges money.
That said, I did have a nephew and niece in Arizona (siblings) who did send announcements and I did send them money. That’s the only example I can think that’s crossed my path personally.
I would have loved to get money at graduation as a kid.
Exactly!
I just have the two and they are relatively cheap as far as kids go (one currently going to Community College, one got a full tuition scholarship and will be a freshman in fall). But the other day I was talking with an older friend (mom of an only) and she said something like “I’m glad I’m through paying for college” which prompted us to talk about people we know who don’t have any kids and how they don’t have to budget for things like college and can just spend their money as they see fit! I know a lot of double income no kids folks who have that luxury. We all make our own choices.
My sister lives in the DC area and for her neighborhood every kid had a graduation party that every other kid and their families were supposed to attend. It was like an open house. We went up to my niece’s high school graduation, but left before the parties started. Too much for me!
Come to think about it, my daughter’s best friend in elementary/middle school did send us an announcement, but I didn’t think anything of it. But we didn’t spend money buying announcements either. It’s expected in our hood for kids to graduate from high school.
When I graduated from high school, I had a friend who I rode the bus with everyday, her family invited me to a Sizzler dinner, that was very nice, but my family didn’t do anything either. So my kids already fared much better than I did, lol.
I have never sent graduation announcements for any of my 3 children. We just had a very small gathering the night of graduation that included grandparents and uncles, who gave each child a total of $200. My older two have since graduated from college and we simply took them to dinner, they each got $500 from grandma. DH and I gave them the gift of paying for their college so that they could start their life without student loan debt. I figured that was more than enough!
As for giving to others, we give $50 to graduates who have been close friends with our children over the years. That amount is for high school and college.
My sister grew up here in NJ, moved to IL years ago. Her oldest graduated high school last year and announcements are common there. She did have a party so did a combo invitation/announcement just for people invited to the party.
Where we lived when ds was in high school the large high schools had graduation in the morning. Kids’ parents typically hosted an open house/drop-in party in the afternoon for their own friends and the family. Graduates were there to mix with those folks. Then the graduates coordinated their own friend parties that evening.
We had one year that we hit three drop-in parties the afternoon of graduation. Should have been four, but two overlapped. The overlapping ones were from different friend circles. We never attended the actual graduation ceremonies of anyone other than family. Listen to the reading of 1,000 names at 9:00 in the morning - hard pass for me.
Some announcements came with separate party invites. Some did not. I gifted the same regardless. High school graduation season is almost over for me among my friend group - just one friend’s kiddo to go. We have cycled back around to full on wedding season for our friends’ children as well as ds’s friends. Some our friends with older children already married and starting their own families. But mostly we are in a cycle for weddings.
I think in our area, the local high school hosted a huge party, we contributed money to it. I forgot how much but it’s either $100 or $200 10 years ago. The kids had a safe place to party all night, they didn’t come home until the next morning.
I can’t say I’ve ever seen an announcement for a HS graduation. We live in So Cal.
Our kids have project graduation at metlife stadium after graduation.
Am impressed with these three digits gifts some kids are getting a bunch of. Ours got presents from us (desktop or laptop for college) and grandma gave them something moderate. I’ve never given grad presents to others. NJ–also don’t get or give announcements.
I felt really bad when my kid received a near universal gift of $50 from family friends this year. In past years, when they were invited to a graduation party, I just sent a $25 GC and called it good. 
We got gifts ranging between $20-$50-$100 and amounts in between for graduations from HS and college for our kids. We gave similar amounts.
For parents or kids who did send out announcements or have parties and get a lot of cash gifts, I’m curious approximately how big the haul was? Are we talking a 4-digit return?