What score can this essay get?

<p>Given the importance of human creativity, one would think it should have a high priority among our concerns. But if we look at the reality, we see a different picture. Basic scientific reasearch is minimized in favor of immediate practical applications. The arts are increasinly seen as dispensable luxuries. Yet as competition heats up around the globe, exactly the opposite strategy is needed. - Adapted from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention</p>

<p>Assignment: Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>(Paragraph) I most certainly support the position, "Creativity [is] needed more than ever in the world today." The examples of Thomas Edison's "tough" creative research to invent the incandescent light bulb and Alfred Nobel's observation and creative application to develop dynamite verify the idea. Even in the sciences, creativity is neede to make that leap of logic to come up with the wholly new and revolutionary concepts. The two created doing the "basic scientific research," and the "applications" for their inventions became all the more important in the years to come.
(Paragraph)Edison's inspiration came from his hard work, demonstrating that "creativity" is essential in such inventiveness. The scientist labored over testing 10 thousand materials to perfect his electric incandescent light bulb, even using his own hair at one point. Creativity and inspiration were essential for him to determine even what next to test. He was guided to create cheap electrical light that would replace the expensive and impractical whale oil lamps, but his immediate concerns were "how" to create his new product. He later stated, after the successful invention, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." The process of genius is har work and creativity, rather than a concern for "immediate practical applications." He created because it was in him to do so as an inspiration.
(Paragraph)Nobel's inspiration came in an accidental observation, showing that creative applications lead to success. The inventor, in the process of trying to stabilize the volatile nitroglycerin, oberved that the liquid high explosive combined with a silica gel to dryness, a stable and transportable form. His genious was in his eye for observation. What anyone else might just witness and pass off as unimportant, he saw and understood and acted. The invention of dynamite would later have many practical applications in mining, civil engineering and, ominously, in warfare later. He did benefit monetarily from the invention, enormously so, but his creativity in invention, after scientific application, leg the way. His creative invention was so successful that he led the industry in continual development of new high explosives and in detonators, so much so that copy-cats often stole his ideas by spying on his research. The spying "copy-cats" were concerned with immediacy and profit, but Nobel was genuine. He succeeded because he was always able to create one more development after another.
(Paragraph)As can be seen above, Edison's inventive diligence and Nobel's creative observation won the day. Only creativity can produce the paradigm-shift level of change. They created, then from the inspiration of their genius.</p>

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<p>6 / 5 / 4 / 3 / 2 / 1 / 0</p>

<p>Thank you for evaluating</p>

<p>it wouldnt get a 6, but it wouldnt get a 0, 1, or 2 either</p>

<p>your nobel example kind of doesn't work. i don't buy the idea that observing an accidental discovery is creative.</p>

<p>I'd give it a 3. It is written pretty well mechanically (though it would be nice to see a more fleshed out introduction), but your examples are kind of lackluster. I'm not sure either is a /great/ example of creativity. The Edison one is ok, because you reference him using his hair (definitely creative!) but unfurtunately get too bogged down by the "hard work" motiff. Like the previous poster, I'm also not sure an "accident" can be described as creative.</p>

<p>More importantly, I don't even think you went in the right direction with your thesis. The question is "is creativity needed more than ever in the world TODAY"; your essay uses two historical references, when I think a current event or more timeless support (like from a work of literature) would be more appropriate to the question. Or, your historical references must be set against some kind of earlier, less creative precedent (and here the quote gives you a hint - perhaps the precedent was less creative because there was less competition?). You don't really address any /deterioration/ of original thought or why it would be needed more today than 30 years ago.</p>

<p>Improving the first part will get you up to a 4, but it's the things I mentioned in the second paragraph that will get you a 6.</p>

<p>i think you could have used WAY better examples. </p>

<p>if you know anything about modern science or physics then throwing some of that stuff in there would have been way more effective than talking about old scientists... for example there are things called superconductors and if creativity can get people to figure out how to get them to work better, great things can happen in the future. </p>

<p>or, talk politically and not necessarily scientifically. you used two examples from the same mold when really you want some more variation. say that creativity is needed to solve unique problems as unique problems beg creative solutions (i.e. immigration, gay rights, etc.)</p>

<p>If you wanted to end it well you could have said something like "in a world where nothing seems impossible anymore, where a man can be sent off to the moon and etc etc, then creativity is essential to advance because if you can dream it, you can do it" something corny/catchy like that at the end. </p>

<p>for the examples themselves, i do buy the accident thing. the OP was saying that his creativeness led to the accident, so i do buy that. the einstein thing was ok i guess, but not stellar. also, make sure to answer the question of whats going on today. as soon as you see that you should be thinking current events. </p>

<p>id give it probably a 3/4, so total of 7 maybe? just use better examples</p>

<p>9 or 10 seem good enough to me... but I've never actually corrected essays so don't count on my grading.</p>

<p>i would say 4.</p>

<p>^^ ooh, that's harsh</p>

<p>You don't need to use more recent examples (tho it would be better), but you really need to link to today and actually answer the question. You don't need a more fleshed out intro- my intro and conc were each two sentences and I got an 11. I'd say 3-4.</p>