Can anyone grade this SAT essay based on a 6-points scale

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>This is from the SAT practice test booklet.</p>

<p>Topic:</p>

<p>Guven the importance of human creativity, one would think it should have a priority among our concerns. But if we look at the reality, we see a different picture. Basic scientific research is minimized in favor of immediate practical applications. The arts are increasingly seen as dispensable luxuries. Yet as competition heats up around the globe, exactly the opposite strategy is needed.
~ Adapted from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention</p>

<p>Assignment: </p>

<p>Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>(paragraph 1)
Creativity is an important part of our intelligence. My AIG math teacher even says so. Everyday life errands and work rely on your creativity as well as most problems in this world.
(paragraph 2)
My AIG math teacher always asks us to think outside the box and think creatively. She had said that in some work application they put a logic problem to test our creativity and ability to think outside the box. She said that in this world, today, creativity will help you with most of your problems. I don't know about you, but I trust an AIG teacher.
(paragraph 3)
Everyday life errands and work seems to depend on us thinking outside the box. If you are cleaning a desk or a room, your creativity helps you to put the items in an organized way. If you work in a retaurant and you are very bisy, then your creativity will help you on what to do first and how fast to do them. I think that it wouldn't hurt to save some time by being creative with our everyday errands.
(paragrpah 4)
Most problems out there needs creativity to be solved. That's how these problems became the way they are in the first place. It's because your experience and intelligent cannot help you. So your creativity will create new ways to do them. Scientists need creativity. The problems of our world are usually out of our human intelligent. For example, the problem of global warming
(end of essay)</p>

<p>Please rate based on the scale below:</p>

<p>6: clear and consistent mastery
5: reasonably consistent mastery
4: adequate mastery
3: developing mastery
2: little mastery
1: very little or no mastery</p>

<p>Thank you all.</p>

2

<p>Anyone, please?</p>

3

<p>Never really graded anyone elses essays before and I am new to this website but if i had to give it a grade i guess like a 3.</p>

4

<p>I second the 3</p>

5

<p>Not trying to be mean here, but I would say 2-3. The essay demonstrates little critical thinking and has severe structure and organization problems that detract heavily from the reading.</p>

<p><a href="paragraph%201">quote</a>
Creativity is an important part of our intelligence. My AIG math teacher even says so. Everyday life errands and work rely on your creativity as well as most problems in this world.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Passable thesis, but the sentence about your math teacher sounds (again, please don't take any offense) very juvenile and does not fit into the flow of the essay at all. The sentence can better be reworded as something along the lines as: "For example, my AIG math teacher always asks us to think outside the box and think creatively.", using that sentence as your transitional into the second paragraph.</p>

<p><a href="paragraph%202">quote</a>
My AIG math teacher always asks us to think outside the box and think creatively. She had said that in some work application they put a logic problem to test our creativity and ability to think outside the box. She said that in this world, today, creativity will help you with most of your problems. I don't know about you, but I trust an AIG teacher.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Application should be 'applications', if I'm reading it correctly (The essay scorers probably won't care about small errors like this on the real thing). Otherwise, decent paragraph, except for the last sentence, which is completely unnecessary and again, gives the essay a more juvenile feel.</p>

<p><a href="paragraph%203">quote</a>
Everyday life errands and work seems to depend on us thinking outside the box. If you are cleaning a desk or a room, your creativity helps you to put the items in an organized way. If you work in a retaurant and you are very bisy, then your creativity will help you on what to do first and how fast to do them. I think that it wouldn't hurt to save some time by being creative with our everyday errands.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Obvious spelling errors (restaurant, busy), and uhm, very weak ideas. The idea of running everyday errands and daily regimens seems to be the polar opposite of thinking outside the box, but hey I could be wrong. "I think it wouldn't hurt" is also an extremely weak assertion. Be more aggressive!</p>

<p><a href="paragrpah%204">quote</a>
Most problems out there needs creativity to be solved. That's how these problems became the way they are in the first place. It's because your experience and intelligent cannot help you. So your creativity will create new ways to do them. Scientists need creativity. The problems of our world are usually out of our human intelligent. For example, the problem of global warming
(end of essay)

[/quote]
</p>

<p>The first half of this essay might be 4 material, but I dislike the introduction of a completely new topic at the very end of the essay. Instead, you should develop a body paragraph about scientists and global warming, and THEN wrap it up in the conclusion.</p>

<p>Overall, I would say 3 because there is some potential, but due to weak ideas, the lack of strong critical thinking, and serious flaws in flow and structure, the paper does not read as well as it should.</p>

<p>Good luck and don't take offense to anything I said.</p>