I am thinking of some topics to write, but I am unsure if these are appropriate to talk about in my application as the lesson
you learned from a failure to lead to success later in life. I was hoping to write about some family complications like a family
member’s suicide and the effect it had on me. Another topic is that I was never in a stable environment or home, yet I still did well in school and that I dedicated myself to my passions later in life.
Keep your eye on the big picture.
The point of this essay is NOT True Confessions. It’s not therapy. It’s not to engender sympathy.
It’s to have the reader thinking “Wow! Now THAT sounds like a kid I would like to meet… what a great addition to our campus he would be!!”
If your essay does that, then you’ve chosen your topic well.
It’s okay to mention those events, particularly if they were defining, but the essay needs to be about you, not about that. What kept you going in a chaotic environment? What did you learn from people around you, even if they were unlikely teachers? How do you conduct your relationships?
As @bjkmom says, you want the reader to want to meet you, not feel sorry for you.
I was hoping to just address what has happened in my life in a couple sentences. After that I was thinking about spending the rest of the essay showing how it has caused me to grow and develop as a person. Would that be a decent route to take it to avoid that tone?
Can you focus on one event rather than describing your life? Show, not tell?
So explain one moment or event that was impacted by all that?
Personally, I would probably go for something a bit lighter, that requires less explanation. Remember, you have an absolute maximum of 650 words on the Common App to convince them that you’re the right kid for the school.
OP, it can be fine to use a couple of sentences to describe what served as the springboard for your growth. Remember you want to show this growth not just claim you grew. Eg, show how you’re now more involved in supporting others. (Make it appropriate to the loss, a balance, not just how it motivated you to, say, run for class president or go out for a sport.)
The problem with suicide would be making the essay about that, too much who said what, who felt what. You’re trying to show you have the qualities the school wants. It’s different than a hs essay.
Yes, @Mateo109 . Or an event that can be framed by that but says more about who you are. Rather than “my mom died and we had to move in with my aunt who had 6 kids of her own”, you could say “Even though six years had passed since my mom’s death and out move to my aunt’s, we hadn’t come to any regular arrangements as to who would cook dinner and when it would be served.” And the story would be about something that happened while you were cooking.
You might want to read the essay tips at the top of this forum if you haven’t yet.
OP did say, “address what has happened in my life in a couple sentences.” That’s not overdoing.
We dont know what college targets. The higher the tier. the more the essay needs to show the attributes those colleges look for. Changing the topic may not fit how this OP intended to convey strengths and traits.
But tell us the colleges.
Sorry for the late response @lookingforward, I was at my aunt’s engagement party for the weekend. I am hoping to apply to Emory, Georgia Tech, Stanford, John Hopkins University, the Ivies (excluding Dartmouth), MIT, CalTech, Vanderbilt, and Washington University. I have over a 4.0 GPA, involved as a leader in multiple math clubs, and won multiple awards in mathematics, so while they are long shots I am able to pay for the applications myself and would be kicking myself if I had the opportunity at one of my dream schools and didn’t even apply. Also I have no idea how to even start with the other essay topics, I don’t want to sound cliché in my accomplishments as many are county based. I am a white male so I don’t have any interesting background or identity to tell about. The majors I am interested in are mathematics, physics, biology, or going into a pre-med program.
Disability is never a good topic. As a graduating senior, your experience with disability such as depression and anxiety is too limited to talk about overcoming a disability or understanding its implications as you approach independence. Furtber, all disabilities, especially episodic disorders, recur in very different circumstances and result in varying impact.
Disability is legally protected in admissions. Your application will be reviewed on its merits. A applicant wants a fair review of credentials and indicating that one or more components would have been better but for …could cause suspicion that s the applicant might experience difficulties at college related to disability. With proper documentation, a student with a disability can receive reasonable accommodations from disability services.
Recently, a post asked whether disability was a hook. No! There are sufficient numbers of qualified applicants with disabilities to secure admission to even elite schools. While schools talk about success and provide counseling and health services, tutoring, learning centers and labs, and so forth, schools offer these forms of assistance to enhance opportunity for students to obtain skills that are designed to lead to success. Fundamentally, schools never guarantee success.
@Mateo109 I am a strong believer that you are more than your background, more than your struggles, and more than your interests. Those can make good application essays, but there are many other stories and experiences that you have had that you can tell. Here are some ones I happen to like: https://apply.jhu.edu/application-process/essays-that-worked/
You can write about overcoming struggles and the impact of those events on your life, but a question you will have to answer for yourself and throughout the essay is: why do they want me? what part of myself am I showing to the admissions office? Tragedy and circumstance is something that is not in our control, what is in your control is what you can make of it and your own experience. Now in that context: How important is the negative experiences in your life, is it worth inserting in your essay, or will it overshadow the positive aspects of what you have done since then.
Application essays don’t have to be a life story, it can be a simple moment that illuminates who you are.
Triumphing over an adversity is always good. “…showing how it has caused me to grow and develop” is good. But you need to convey this in the right ways. That often means, what matters to the target colleges. So, eg, being more determined to study X isn’t as effective as examples of the good you do, how you bring people together or support others, creatively resolve issues, your openness to new experiences, what you do in the community on a responsible level, etc. Top colleges like certain attributes or traits and you want these to ring through.
County-based accomplishments are fine. You don’t need national or whoop-de-doo. Be sure you try to learn what your targets look for, from what they write and show.