@camwow Agree with @Lindagaf that Vassar not comparable to Williams, Amherst, and Pomona. In this apples vs. oranges prestige question, I would say Williams and Amherst up there with HYPSM, Pomona close to that but tick below those.
By US News methodology, Vassar would be equivalent to Carleton in terms of selectivity:
USNWR Selectivity Rank (of some schools mentioned)
- Pomona
- Williams
- Amherst
- Bowdoin
- Middlebury
- Hamilton
- Carleton
- Vassar
- Colgate
- Davidson
- Colby
In fairness to the colleges in question, if, as has been posted, your current SAT appears as 1350, which would place you in the bottom quartile at Hamilton and Bowdoin (and below average at Middlebury and Colgate), why would your parents think these are not really good schools?
OP, while the attached article doesn’t attempt to answer your exact question, it might be useful to your case.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/where-professors-send-their-children-to-college/