<p>For my essay about bringing diversity to Rice, I plan to write about how as I child, I was abused and neglected then sexually assaulted which led to me being removed from my mother's home and then placed with my grandmother in a rural town. When I was 16 and junior, she had a stroke and died which then caused me to move from OH to GA with my father. I plan to write how I overcame ALL that and have used it to be an aid in my ministry and not let that stop me but propel me but I honestly dont know how to start.
I dont want it to be a tear jerker or cause them to "pity" me too much but I want to show them my strength, perseverance, and determination.</p>
<p>Any advice?? </p>
<p>I really don't know how I should start. I was thinking something like
Imagine a boy
without hope
shrouded in fear
knowing darkness as his only friend
blah de blah de blah
I am that boy. When I was younger... (idk)</p>
<p>I mean, how can you just start out saying something like that you know?</p>
<p>Look... I've noticed that you've started a lot of threads in the Rice forum because you really want to go to Rice and are seeking help on your application.</p>
<p>This thread, however, is going a bit too far. Are you asking us to write your essay for you? Seriously, you shouldn't be on this forum if you want essay help. Seek out your English teacher, or a friend who's good at writing and brainstorm ideas with them. </p>
<p>It's getting a little annoying how you post threads seeking help on essentially most parts of your application... I didn't get anyone to read my essays or supplements that I sent to Rice, and I turned out okay. </p>
<p>It's understandable that you want help but this is getting a little ridiculous. You're a high school senior, you can do it.</p>
<p>no, I dont want anyone to WRITE my essay for me. it would not be the same as if I'm writing it. I just didnt know how to start something like that. I'll stop making SO many posts.</p>
<p>I don't the best way to do it.... after reading so many college essay books, I was so afraid that writing about my father's death would seem like a cry for pity that I decided not to. I mean the last thing in the world I want is for some adcom to read something so personal and mark it off as cliche. I don't know if I was just being too paranoid, but I had so much trouble writing anything about it, that I decided to write about something else.</p>
<p>I don't think there is room in an essay to go through your whole life's story. I would just pick one event to write about, maybe one of your moves, and talk about that in detail and then maybe mention the other stuff in passing to explain why you are there. </p>
<p>Also, you could talk to your guidance counselor about mentioning your past in the part that he/she writes up about you. </p>
<p>In general, I would try to emphasize how you have overcome your obstacles and not dwell on the bad stuff. I agree with the other poster that you should consult with your English teacher on how to write this up as it is tricky to write without it being very depressing. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>okay okay okay, so I'm writing it and I think its good but I have one question.
either
"I once knew a boy" or "Imagine a boy"</p>
<p>Speak in your own voice. They are very good at discerning artificial constructs. Speak to what moves you and makes you who you are.</p>
<p>
[quote]
okay okay okay, so I'm writing it and I think its good but I have one question.
either
"I once knew a boy" or "Imagine a boy"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Dude, we're not gonna write your essay for you. Do whatever feels natural, and talk to some friends, teachers,...etc and revise it.</p>
<p>I DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO WRITE MY ESSAY!!!!!
I just needed some SUGGESTIONS.
I have a good start thank you very much!
NO ONE ELSE NEED REPLY. THANKS!</p>
<p>i think that it sounds cheesy, but maybe good.</p>
<p>i dunno</p>
<p>Geeze... CC people are such, erm.. well, you know.</p>
<p>I understand what you're asking, though. Starting of an essay with something so serious and personal - you're afraid to make it something that isn't - or maybe you're not sure whether you want to hit the adcom with something so heavy so quickly.</p>