I know it sounds bad, but I’m in a sticky situation. I’ve recently been notified that I’ll receive a local scholarship for $7,500 (split into two annual payments, both paid directly to me and not to my school). I’m also aware that I SHOULD report them. However, here’s my dilemma:
My mother is encouraging me not to. If I reported it to my school, it would go towards my term-time personal expenses, which isn’t a bad deal at all. However, I still need a lot of stuff just to get ready for college (dorm stuff, clothes, bigger luggage) that we can’t afford right now. She wants me to use the scholarship money to cover this.
I really need it to replace some money that I “lost”. I had saved up about $800 to go towards my pre-college expenses that I mentioned above, but my family sort of fell on hard times and made me use it all for household expenses instead. It’s gone and I’m in panic mode right now.
I don’t see how my college would find out about it because the money is being distributed as two personal checks that I could deposit directly into my bank account. But I’m still shaking in my boots at the idea of not reporting it. I’m generally an honest person, and I feel that it would be morally wrong even though my mother keeps assuring me that it would be ok. I really don’t know what to do. If I report it, I’ll go off to college without all of the stuff I need, but if I don’t, would I face any consequences? Could they still find out about it? I really need help guys!
“If you are on financial aid, our policy is to use the full amount of your outside awards first to replace your term-time job expectation, and then your summer earnings expectation…Since the intent of these awards is that they be used for educational purposes, you must report them to us.”
Please be honest. For all you know, the folks awarding this scholarship will notify your school. OR they will put the award in the newspaper or on their social media outlets.
There are plenty of ways for a school to find out you have received outside scholarships…and most frown on dishonesty.
Also, if receiving financial aid by providing false information is considered fraud. If you get need based aid because you lied and didn’t tell the school you had other money…it could be viewed as fraud.
@thumper1 But that’s just it-- they won’t. There IS no press release and they already told my family that they aren’t notifying the school. That’s why my family is urging me not to report it. They think that there’s no possible way for me to get caught if I didn’t, but I disagree (things like this always come back to bite you somehow, right?). I’m so torn right now!
I’m sorry, but it is very clear on ALL college websites. Accepting need based aid based on dishonest information can result in losing all your aid, and losing your offer of admission. Is this really worth it? It is fraud to get need based financial aid based on knowingly providing inaccurate information…which is what you would be doing.
Your mother knows this is wrong…I’m guessing…and just hopes you won’t get caught.
Would you shoplift hoping you would not get caught?
Report it. Things like this will come back to bite you - if only by leaving you freaked out and stressed about the money for the next XX years.
“I still need a lot of stuff just to get ready for college (dorm stuff, clothes, bigger luggage) that we can’t afford right now.”
You don’t need a lot of stuff for college. Don’t believe all the marketing hype about this. Even if you are moving from Florida to Alaska, you won’t need those winter clothes upon arrival, you will have time to find a good thrift store and pick them up on the cheap. Wait until you get there and then see what you really do need, and how much will actually fit into your room. Remember, you will have to ship it home or store it somewhere next summer, so the less stuff you have to deal with, the better.
@thumper1 Very true, which is what I tried to tell me family when they encouraged me to keep quiet about it. I’ll probably have to report it in the end, won’t I? However, the ONE thing that I’m worried about is that I’ll report it online only to find out that my parent’s have already deposited the check and started buying stuff for me (which they could, since they have full access to my account as joint owners). They’re pretty much disregarding me in this situation and calling me a stupid kid for trying to do the right thing.
@happymomof1 I’m likely going to report it in spite of what my parents are telling me (bad influences, am I right?!). I was just curious as to what would happen if I decided to take their advice and not report it. Now I know…and it doesn’t seem worth it!!
“they have full access to my account as joint owners”
The day you turn 18, you need to open an account that they don’t have their names on. Please do that. Your parents have no business taking your money and spending it on things that they think you want or need. You are old enough to make those calls yourself. If you need your parents to pick up something for you because you can’t get to that store or whatever, you can transfer the correct amount of money into one of their accounts to cover the cost.
Make arrangements to have the checks go directly to you. If you can’t pick them up in person or have them mailed to you at your college, then find out if the donor can arrange to deposit the money into your new no-parent-name-on-it bank account.
Yes, happymomof1’s advice is very important. Get your own account ASAP.
Scholarships shouldn’t be considered as such if they just cash awards to students without going through the college.
Shame on your mother for encouraging you to be dishonest. :-w Is she that way about other things, too?
@happymomof1 Thanks for the advice! I’ll do that as soon as possible, although I don’t know how they’ll feel about it. My parents are old school and believe that they can do whatever they want (without my consent) as long as I live with them. In their words:
“You’re 18? Yeah right, that’s just a number. Come talk to us when you have your own place and your own bills. Until then, you follow our rules. If you don’t like it, then GET OUT.”
How far from home are you going to college? Neither of my kids took larger suitcases. In fact, the one we drive to college packed all of the stuff in black garbage bags and laundry baskets. He had only a small duffle with him in case he travelled.
Surely you already have clothing hanging in your closet and in your drawers!
And dorm stuff? Like what? Our kids went “shopping” in our linen closet first…got towels, blankets, etc there. They took things from their bedrooms. They bought very little in terms of “dorm stuff”.
@CTTC Yeah, pretty much. She’s a nice lady, but she’s not above “fudging” the truth to further her own agenda. She’s pretty good at it too—never been caught once!
I always thought “old school” was honest and dependable, hardworking, at least that’s what my parents taught me.
There is a paper trail for that money somewhere. The scholarship entity won’t just send checks to people without keeping records, they have to account for their book keeping.
Actually if you can I would see if they can send the check to the university directly.
If you have a job, keep working and open your own account where the money gets directly deposited into. College essentials don’t have to cost that much, we got sheet sets from Walmart and JC Penney for under $20, one to put on the bed, one to wash, comforters are on sale sometimes or maybe someone (grandparents) can give you a quilt to use until you earn more money. Suitcases at discount stores are not that much, Goodwill might even have some.
@thumper1 I’m going about 8 hours away from home (though it’s about 1.5 hours through flying). But because NO ONE in my family wants to make an 8 hour drive, I have to ship everything and bring what I can with me on a plane (hence the need for huge suitcases).
Yes, I HAVE clothes, but I’m going to a colder climate so I’ll need to make some adjustments. Also, most of my clothes are sort of crappy at the moment and not college appropriate (i.e., worn down, old, middle-school-ish) and I’m long overdue for a wardrobe change.
HA! See, my mother isn’t willing to part with her towels and blankets. She’s a germaphobe and wants to keep my “dorm stuff” separate from the “house stuff” for fear of contamination when I come home for breaks. So the only things that I’m allowed to bring from home are my clothes. Everything else stays.
Once you’re away at school, open an acct locally. The school may have a bank on campus. You can say that it’s more convenient having a bank at school…which is the truth. Once you open that acct, have all school money put in there. You can leave a tiny bit in the old acct, but put most money into the new acct along with any future deposits.
You need to keep your school money separate from your parents otherwise they will have “other” hard times and justify taking your money. If they think there is a wad of cash sitting in your acct, they will be tempted to not only take that money, but to make silly choices knowing that the money is there.
As for your dilemma, I don’t know what to tell you. On one hand, the posters here are right. On the other hand, you have to deal with crazy parents. The temptation not to report is going to be huge to avoid any “punishments” by the parents…and they will likely punish you in some way…if only verbally, but that’s abuse.
@mom2collegekids I think they DID take advantage of me a little bit. This isn’t the first time that I’ve put money in my account and they’ve taken it (they used to do it without my permission, but they do ask now). I’m dead set on getting a separate account, but I’m not sure how much it will help. Say my mom wants money from me and I’m away in college. I can’t very well tell her “no” and then expect to come home for the holidays. She just wouldn’t allow it. Is it blackmail? Yes, but not in the eyes of my parents. Although I’m legally an adult now, they don’t see it that way and continue to treat me as if my opinions and feelings don’t matter. So yes, I’ll be “punished” for reporting the scholarship (seriously, they’ll probably ground me for disobeying them) but I’ll also be punished in a different way for not reporting it should someone find out about it later. Either way, I lose!
Angel, I think you should get out of the middle on this one.
Tell your parents that you called the scholarship organization to ask them if they could direct deposit the money into your account since you are going to be away at college when the check arrives, and they told you that the donor of the funds- who is an alum of the school you are attending- would like to take you out for coffee next time he’s back on campus and that he’s asked the alumni organization to make sure that you get “recognized” for this special honor in the alumni magazine.
Then it’s out of your hands. Nobody can criticize a generous donor for informing the alumni organization of his own college that he’s provided a scholarship for a needy kid; financial aid will see the notice in the alumni magazine and you’ll get “caught”- so you’re going to proactively inform them now so they don’t retract the scholarship.
