Interpersonal communications 101: tell someone how what they did made you feel. Say it face to face, without an audience, and in a neutral tone. Suggestions “I found your comments yesterday derogatory.” “It makes me uncomfortable when you make what I perceive to be a personal attack.” “You probably didn’t realize it, but your comments yesterday hurt my feelings.” Finish with: “I’d be grateful if we kept our discussions focused on my work.”
Now she knows how you feel and what you expect. She may be clueless to how she sounded and needs to be told if you want it to stop. If she continues to harangue you, state your feelings again, if she still doesn’t stop, you’ve done your part, it is time to move to it up the chain of command (parents, school administration).
To the OP, kudos to you for showing restraint. But since I am an engineer, all I could think of is your teacher’s lack of perspective - your clay project (I assume) will be fired in a kiln that was designed and manufactured, runs on electricity, and even sits in a building that was made possible by engineering. The irony makes me chuckle.
I’d personally be less dismissive of what she says than most here. Not that she’s correct (I disagree with her generalization but I think it can be true) but it seems to come from personal experience. Perhaps her brother and husband really are like that - that they miss the forest for the trees, so to speak.
I think she just wants you to take your time on your project and add more artistic effort into it. She is being blunt but I think she is trying to be helpful. Some engineers really are as she describes.
Thank you guys so much. Really, thank you. I didn’t expect that I could get so much understanding and support here.
I just told her what I thought via email - since I’m at a competition outside of school.
Whoever commented, it was very, very helpful. My maturity level is too low conpared to you guys’, and I didn’t know the most effective way to handle those issues. Thank you so much for teaching me a lesson. I’m sure in the future, I’ll get the idea of what to respond and how to respond.
I’m raised in a Catholic environment so I know how important forgiveness is. I do genuinely forgive her for what she said now. Straightforwardness is written in her personality, I don’t blame her.
I noticed that most of you are parents, and I have to say that your kids are blessed to have someone like you to be there for them.
Thanks you all again. I am really, really appreciative.
It is a world in which teachers are expected to be supportive of students, where people don’t always do what they’re supposed to (for various reasons), however, and, therefore, a world in which it is best to be prepared for others’ failures (and one’s own, for that matter).
Teachers have, of course, an enormous advantage over students, because they have authority, confidence, developed arguments and experience which enables them to orate while students listen. Hence, it’s not a situation conducive to successful debate.
The most important thing to say is what you say to yourself. Comfortable life is impossible without the practice of internally rejecting the remarks of others that you examine and find nonsensical. It’s helpful to know what nonsensical things people are apt to say, but it is not possible to anticipate all of it.
While it is not the role of a student or a responsibility a student should shoulder to correct the thinking of a teacher about something that is not really relevant to the material or proceeding of the class (for instance, the teacher’s ideas about how engineers are), it is, I think, to try to do something to abate behavior of a teacher that is as unsupportive as the behavior described. And I think communication about it with someone who then will speak with the teacher about inappropriate unsupportiveness of students (and perhaps undue casualness in admixing personal life issues in interacting with a student) will be more effective and appropriate than the student speaking directly with the teacher.
Teachers should be professionals performing services to (generally younger) people. Teacher and student should not morph into being simply friends; if the teacher took the relationship in that direction she should not have.
The answer to your question (What would YOU say if your high school art teacher bashes your intended engineering major?) is, to the teacher herself, nothing. But I would reflect (and have) about how this situation arose and whether and how the setup that allowed it to happen should be changed.
OP good for you that you were able to hear all the comments you have rec’d. We weren’t there so I don’t know how your teacher came across. Sounds like if she is naming her husband and son (Sheldon and Leonard?) she is complaining about them, which is of course unprofessional, but as you note, not unforgiveable. You sound mature enough to shrug it off.
It reminds me of a conversation with artist S’s art teacher. One of the few times we spoke I mentioned that we thought since S loves math and studio art but was not willing to give up either, maybe he should go into architecture. She blurted out – right away, without missing a beat – Oh no, he would be a terrible architect. My husband is an architect. S is too intuitive …and she went on to make other observations about architects which I frankly didn’t even understand. At the time I was pretty taken aback. But talking about it with S later it was actually very helpful.
Different from your situation of course bc at heart you are an engineer! I liked posts 9 and 21 about the irony of it.
I won’t pass judgement on the teacher’s comment. You already have good advice and a mature attitude. I will say that you certainly can be both artist and engineer. I’ve run across many on this forum as well as out and about. My daughter took three years of art in high school, and has produced increasingly awesome drawings and paintings and such from her dorm room … at a tech school where she is successfully and enthusiastically studying engineering. She has always loved art (and the artistic process) and is talented. She’s excited to be an engineer. I’m curious to see how it all plays out over the years ahead of her.
what she said was slightly rude; try not to worry about it.
one thing to keep in mind though is that thorough art projects – like engineering projects – take time to do. My daughter is in ap studio art; and each project takes weeks to produce. Her grandpa who’s taught both HS and college art is a potter; and the process of learning pottery is a very long process. He’d never make comments like those, but he might work on kids with not rushing through things. And yes, daughter’s dad is an engineer, and does see things slightly differently than daughter. But both are good visions!
" STEM oriented students can like both – and there is nothing wrong with that." - I absolutely agree, DS took 10 semesters of hs music and did very many music EC… One of his college essays was titled - “I am a composer”, (He also wove more music themes into his engineering projects that I would have thought possible). He loved those hs music classes.
Per OP’s post, it seemed like there was not much joy in the artistic process… so I wondered why 2 courses.
The teacher should not have made the comments she made but can you consider that you baited her? By saying you don 't want to waste your time you are also telling her that what she does is a waste of time. That isn’t exactly what you meant but it was close to what you meant. Had you spent the time on an endeavor she values, you’d have wasted your time. Your contention is that you would be wasting the time because you could do as good a job that afternoon as others would take longer with. I get this with writers all the time. They want to finish up; Not mull on something for a while. Well they don’t end up with quite as good a product as they would have if they had mulled it over. You contention is that the tiny improvement is not enough to warrant spending the two weeks required to accomplish it. But that is your teacher’s life’s work. She would say the tiny improvement was worth it. You dis’d her profession and she got you back.
@lostaccount I was not by any means trying to comment on her art major and her career. “If I could finish something in 1 day but have to do it for 2 weeks, I think thats wasting my time” was what I said. It can apply to anything - a chem lab, a calc problem, even an engineering assignment - not just to art. So are you saying THATS what bothered her? It seems odd to me.
A lot of people have asked why do I even take 2 art classes. Well, because I like art… I draw architectures a lot in my free time, and do crafts almost once a week with my sister. I played piano for 11 years as well. I think art amazing. It’s like some magic potion that peaces my mind.
I DO enjoy the process. I just like to finish things as fast as I can so I can move on to do more.
Then I’m glad you had the opportunity for 2 art classes. (Sorry about the piano - DS dropped after 11 years too… he just got too busy to practice). Enjoy them!
@colorado_mom thanks!
And yea, I stopped taking piano classes since junior year because I was too busy. Ive taken all maths classes at school and a Calc II class in a nearby college before senior year, so I can take as many art classes as I want this year
As a college literature and creative writing professor, I am appalled by this teachers comments. If you were her equal, I’d suggest all kinds of snarky things to say. But since the balance of power between you is uneven, I suggest you let it go. “Thanks for your input. I’ll think about that” is the most prudent thing to say.
