<p>Quote:
calmom- You don’t know anything about the state of the Dallas public schools 5-8 years ago. You simply don’t. And-many very nice neighborhoods were within the city limits and zoned for Dallas schools. The large “good” suburban schools had a whole other set of problems- serial suicides in some, huge drug problems and “Texas cheerleader mom” situations. I assure you that your kids would not have been attending Dallas schools.
MomOfWildChild…calmom may not know much about schools in Dallas; however, I certainly do, and I think your sweeping generalization is not particularly fair. Although I would agree that the public sector in the Metroplex as a whole leaves much to be desired, there are indeed some good schools and to say otherwise is erroneous. Case in point…Highland Park High School, Southlake Carroll, Colleyville, Aledo, Rockwall…the list goes on. Did you know that the #1 public high school in the nation according to the latest issue of USNWR now happens to be in Dallas? We actually did select the private school route for our kids and never once did I feel it to be lacking/deficient in that it would necessitate sending our kids away to boarding school. I mean seriously…Hockaday, St. Marks, Greenhill, ESD, FWCD, Trinity Valley, Cistercian, Ursuline, etc.???
Quote:
wasn’t going to work for our family. The private schools weren’t perfect, either, and both my kids wound up (for different reasons) going to boarding school.
Were your son’s boarding schools “perfect”? As for opportunity, our daughter’s class of fewer than 100 had acceptances from every ivy, all the top LACs, WUST, Rice, Vandy, Northwestern, Duke, NYU, Georgetown, BC, BU, CMU, UVA, UNC, Wake, USC, etc. and of course, UT, A&M, SMU & TCU, so I don’t think its possible for a boarding school to provide more opportunity. I’m not trying to be confrontational, so forgive me if this post comes across as such; I’m merely trying to understand why public and private options in DFW were in your mind so inferior that it necessitated choosing boarding school. **</p>
<p>Having two older children who graduated from an ivy years ago and a Sr. now I certainly face a dilema. While some of his stats are better, he has a slim chance of getting into an Ivy. He probably could get into some at the tier below but at $55+. I am having a hard time justifying that cost particularly because we would have to take huge loans to do it. I do feel guilty that he doesn’t have the same options as his older siblings, but what can you do. I think some of the state flagships (not our own btw) that will offer him merit and honors college opportunities might be the best value. If he can graduate among the top students at one of these colleges with zero debt, I think he can go a long way- Grad school, etc.
As an employer who has hired many entry level people, I look at the school sure, but also the gpa. The flagship in my state is always looked at positively, some of the state colleges, not so much. But with excellent grades wouldn’t be a deal breaker. My past employer said they didn’t want to hire Ivy grads particularly for “regular” jobs because they felt beneath many tasks and felt that they should be on the fast track.
How some of the southern schools my S is looking at will be looked at by a future employer, I have no idea. I’m hoping Honors college and a strong gpa will overcome any prejudice, but as someone said he’s probably not getting the interview at Google.</p>
<p>jc40- Let me clarify. DISD. DALLAS schools. We lived in DALLAS. Not Highland Park. Not Plano. As I said, those schools have plenty of issues, but our high school was Hillcrest HS. The school tried and the parents tried.</p>
<p>I never said our choice of boarding school was because the private schools in Dallas were lacking. I’m not going to re-hash the whole thing since it is old news on this forum, but there were reasons my kids went to boarding school that had nothing to do with the quality of the Dallas schools available to us. My daughter left Hockaday after sophomore year for an arts academy and my son, well, look at my screen name! 
Interlochen was close to perfect, actually. My son’s final school was, also. In fact, he is visiting it and his coach/mentor there today and tweeted “I want to go back to high school.”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>My son did get the interview at a Google level company by cold-calling (by email) the recruiter whose name he got from another school’s job board. The guy told him based on his school (Ivy) he would like to interview him. He starts work in August.</p>
<p>That said, the Southern state universities will be highly-regarded by Southern companies, and who would want to leave the South anyway? :)</p>
<p>Which school to apply and which to attend is really a very personal matter. There is nothing wrong, nor it is anyone else’s business if you pick a state school. </p>
<p>Both my kids is/will be at privates because they like the schools which are the best in their respective majors, we could afford them, and they happen to be highly ranked overall. </p>
<p>How much each student get from their school is again by their own desire and effort.</p>
<p>More stereotyping and assumptions going on here. mowc…my son certainly knows who Bernie Madoff is. And so do his friends. And he would love to engage your son in a discussion about why Petreus was the right choice. Maybe your son went to the wrong bar? Honestly, you find your own niche when you go to a big school…private or public. Yeah, there are less-than-bright bulbs at a state school but plenty of smart kids too. And, BTW, I’ve been in the bars at that school that always gets confused with the PA state school (worked there for years!) and didn’t hear any discussions about politics.</p>
<p>It isn’t stereotyping to report on someone’s experience. I know not everyone has the same experience, but I love the way that on this forum a view contrary to one’s own is “stereotyping”. There are plenty of bright, fun, talented people at state universities. I like to think I was one of them back in the day. There sure was a clear bottom half, though.</p>
<p>My son could care less whether your son knows who Bernie Madoff is. He was looking for pretty and smart GIRLS! :)</p>
<p>MOWC, I understand where your views are coming from, and your concerns are valid. I don’t think everyone here is accusing you of stereotyping for disagreeing with them, but I did imply your views on AR were stereotypical since stats/rankings disagree with your assumption about Arkansas’s public education system. So, I do think some of the concerns about stereotyping being raised are legitimate.
Your son sounds like a great kid, best of luck to him in his intellectual searches .
-Matt</p>
<p>Well, I am a state school grad. I was a pretty strong student…but I did have friends in that dreaded “bottom half.” The ones who partied too much dropped out after one or two semesters. It was interesting to see that. A learning experience. The others were a colorful mix of folks…NOT stupid…but certainly not as “book smart” as what you would find in an Ivy. Over the years, I have kept in touch friends who have gone on to be very successful. And that includes friends who chose modest but honorable occupations like pre-school teachers or physical therapists. I would even venture to guess that some of them didn’t know who Michael Milken was when we were roaming the bars. Does that matter? Not to me but I know it does to some. </p>
<p>So maybe that’s what we’re getting at when we talk about finding a match. Certainly, if you can’t tolerate dealing with a bottom half…indeed…a state U may not be the best place for you. Even if you find a niche…yes, they are still THERE. It’s not a good or bad thing…it is what it is. So MOWC, even though I got my back up on the experience you shared (it happens :)) - I don’t think we really disagree.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>MOWC, I don’t live in Dallas. I was born in Texas and chose to move to California to attend school and to settle in California after school.</p>
<p>However, if I did live in Dallas – then I either would have sent my kids to public school in the district where I lived or I would have tried to move to whatever neighboring district my kids could have attended. Private school would not have been an option given finances; and homeschooling is definitely not for me. </p>
<p>My point – which seems to be lost on you – is that as a parent of kids who attended public schools, I did not appreciate parents whose kids had not set foot inside of the door of a public school for even one day, proclaiming the schools and/or the entire district to be “terrible” or “unfit”… and acting as if they had been forced by adverse circumstances to place their kids in private schools. </p>
<p>Of course you have the freedom to choose to send your kids wherever you want. But I don’t think its fair of you to brand all the parents in your school district who opt for public education as “unfit” – and that is exactly what you do when you tar the schools with that brush. </p>
<p>Public schools everywhere have their problems, but they are not nearly as bad as portrayed by the many people who never had any intention of sending their kids to those schools in the first place.</p>
<p>
And so your son draws a conclusion about all State U. students based on some gap in knowledge from one conversation, probably with a person who was intoxicated at the time? </p>
<p>The very big problem I see that comes from attending elite colleges is that the environment potentially fosters a condescending, out-of-touch attitude toward the rest of the world. Public university students tend to be exposed to a far wider range of diversity in term of the backgrounds and economic status of their classmates, if not necessarily geographic diversity. But they are sitting in classrooms with students who break all sorts of cultural stereotypes. They know that they can’t draw assumptions about people’s interests and intellects based on extraneous factors about their backgrounds.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Truly bizarre - you seem to be talking about my S - the reference to being pushed by peers, internship info, etc. Same school and department too…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am not doing that at all. Once again, you are twisting and distorting what I say. This seems to be a pattern with you, unfortunately.</p>
<p>There are many reasons why people choose to send their kids to Dallas public schools. Money is certainly the main one! And- you are incorrect (but you don’t tend to bother yourself with the actual facts). My son did spend a brief time at Hillcrest High School and it completely lived up to its reputation. Also, from the time my kids were born I was involved in community organizations and kept a close eye on the public schools. Moving was not an option for us. There are kids who navigate their way through the Dallas schools with success. A few. Not a huge number. I respect and admire these families. </p>
<p>
This is simply incorrect.</p>
<p>I happen to like private schools. I know you prefer the “poor me” attitude and, despite your law degree, try to identify with the down-trodden. Maybe I’m not “PC”, but my observation over many different schools both for my kids and other family members and friends is that private schools for elementary and high school offer SO much more (with the exception of marching band) than public schools.</p>
<p>Re post #132: </p>
<p>Er… if your son’s had attended public universities and opted to become computer science majors… who do you think would have been in their classes with them?</p>
<p>
Well, that must be a Texas thing then, because out here in California the main thing the private schools seem to produce is an elitist and condescending attitude among some of their students. Though in all fairness, I can’t say whether the kids got their attitudes of entitlement from the schools they attended or from their parents.</p>
<p>Speaking as a parent of one child who graduated from an honors college and another now attending a T20 research institution - </p>
<p>Often it is not a case of intellectually engaged students thinking they are “too good” for the bottom half (or three-quarters), but of large numbers of the bottom half snubbing or even hazing some serious students just for being “different.” If honors colleges are effective, they help these students find their tribe.</p>
<p>Calmom- I’m told if you do a really big shrug, that chip can fall right off your shoulder. Give it a go.</p>
<p>Wow, I thought this thread was about state u’s vs. private, not boarding school vs bad public hs.</p>
<p>I respect people’s right to choose – both the choice of public vs. private high school years or public vs. private college years. Our group has just about every permutation. In the end it’s just about choices.</p>
<p>I remember being snubbed in hs for being a top student. I hated it and actually blew a few tests on purpose to fit in. But not in college. I went to an average state U and my classmates and friends were very supportive when I did well…I actually felt proud to be smart…for the first time. In my case, I didn’t have to be surrounded by “smart” kids to succeed or fit in. Of course, this may not be true for everyone…and it’s certainly ancient history :)</p>
<p>Speaking of ancient history, I got a feel for how the bar scene was at different schools after I graduated. After graduating from my public U in another state, I relocated and started hanging out in Villanova and Penn bars for fun. I don’t remember that there was much of a difference really. I certainly didn’t pick up that the kids were snooty or rich. They didn’t talk about politics or business either. Most were just having fun after a tough week of studying (and I was trying to be in denial that I had entered the work world). </p>
<p>Stick me in random bar at any school and I’m not sure I could guess if I was in a selective top private or a pedestrian public. Kids just want to blow off steam. And even the “smart” ones can come across as pretty darn stupid.</p>