<p>I’m trying to get a 90% or higher average this year to convince my mom to pay for college. She’s kicking me out when I turn 18 and I don’t know how I’ll be able to afford it. NHSMUN goes into session this Wednesday and I don’t want to mess it up. My girlfriend is having medical problems and is just as stressed as I am, and I’m afraid I’m not spending enough time with her. My brother has started urinating on my stuff while I’m out of the house. Somebody has started writing racial slurs on people’s lockers, and I’m one of the few non-white kids in the school. I lost 10lbs over the last two weeks because I didn’t have time to eat breakfast or lunch or to cook for dinner, and I’m having difficulty eating without vomiting. I feel guilty about my consumerist lifestyle. I’m afraid about my lack of ECs and poor freshman/sophomore marks. I’m not doing well enough in any of my courses. My mom says my tutor is too expensive. She keeps taking my brother on vacations without me. She pays hundreds of dollars an hour for extracurriculars and tutoring for him. How come my tutor is too expensive? My psychiatrist told me that my life isn’t worth living. He said I’m going to be miserable for the next decade or so. I thought psychiatrists were supposed to be nice people.</p>
<p>Excuse the long rant. I just want to get my angst off my chest so I can get on with my work.</p>
<p>trying to hide the fact that i got my eyebrows plucked for debate state. all the girly girls in my school are pretty much passing out from sheer joy. next, they will attack me with eyeliner. <em>shudder</em></p>
<p>best friend is moving in on boyfriend and i am too non-confrontational to say anything. </p>
<p>Its alright though, cuz he wants me, not her, but its kind of annoying with her flirting/hanging on him more than i do, and implying that she is more important to him than I.</p>
<p>My lack of REAL FRIENDS. I just don’t feel I could trust many people. I don’t even have one close friend, wish i had. I’m basically on good terms with a huge chunk of Kids both ‘popular’ and ‘unpopular’ both ‘Smart’ and ‘dumb’ whatever those mean…but I don’t trust any of them.
I just sometimes feel Like i don’t belong, and I often get ticked off by my greater friends as many of them are lazy and empathetic… they come first.
But I can’t wait until the summer, hopefully I can join some youth group…and I get to go over seas to see Family.</p>
<p>No time in general, but what really worries me is having time to do my Global project. I want to do it well, but there’s no time. And finding time to do my Religion project is also worrying me. It doesn’t help that I find the project and teacher annoying.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>My prom date situation is really, really confusing. There’s this boy I asked as a friend, but he was being set up with someone, and we talked about who else I could go with. It turned out that the blind date was a total disaster, and I thought we’d go to the prom together if the date didn’t work out. Apparently he thinks differently, because right after he told me how the blind date went, he asked me if I’d asked this other guy yet. I want to tell him “I want to go with you, you idiot!” but I’m afraid to bring it up- I don’t want to make things awkward if he really doesn’t want to be my “date.”</p></li>
<li><p>In a similar vein to Number 1, prom is coming up and I have no money for ANYTHING. I need to get another tutoring job- I’m so broke right now.</p></li>
<li><p>I’m still waiting to hear from six colleges. It’s still a good 2+ weeks until all the decisions come in, and I’m getting stomach cramps from all the anxiety. =(</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Does anyone else not get stressed?
I procrastinate and everything, but when it gets to the last minute I just do what I need to do and I’m fine.
I guess I must get stressed because right before and big swim meet my stomach gets upset and I have diarehha (yea it’s gross get over it)</p>
<p>^^Yeah, I’m the same (not about the diarrhea lol, but about the never really getting stressed out). I have about 15 pages worth of papers to write tonight (tommorow is the last day of the quarter), but it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why, but school work has never been a source of stress for me.</p>
<p>I asked my prom date last month to go with me as friend. I really thought no one was going to ask me so I just went ahead and ask my guy friend (who I just found out that he likes me…dang). </p>
<p>Ok, now there are like 3 guys who asked me and I have to refuse all of them. I actually really likes one of them. I thought it was unrequited but I guess it’s not? He and I went on a date and things got really confusing.</p>
<p>I’m just digging a bigger hole. Anyway, I’m still going with my original prom date but I really hope nothing awkward will happens…</p>