Issues at end of year (long, sorry)

Applying to College
1

<p>I am having issues with my stupid, annoying school and I was wondering if anyone has any advice. I just want to know if I'm screwed for my top schools, and what to do if I am.</p>

<p>I go to a fairly prestigious public school. I never actually wanted to go there, but my parents made me just because it would save like $10,000 a year over going to private school. </p>

<p>Anyway, junior year is finishing soon and obviously grades are really important right now. And I should have a bunch of sweet extracurriculars and summer stuff lined up, right? Yeah, that would be awesome, if my school weren’t a piece of crap.</p>

<p>Gender: Male
Race: White (First gen Swiss-Polish immigrant)
Brief overview of stats and whatever: (all classes are honors unless noted)
9th
English 9 A+
Algebra II A
World History A-
AP Enviro A (Got a 5)
German I A+
Health and Nutrition A-
Track – (no grades for sports)</p>

<p>10th
English 10 A
Trigonometry A
AP World A+ (Got a 5)
AP Biology A (Got a 4)
German II A+
AP Art History A- (Got a 4)
Track –</p>

<p>11th (current, not final)
AP English Lang A-
AP Calculus AB A-
APUSH A
AP Chemistry A+
German III A+
AP US Gov and Politics A-
Computers and Technology B</p>

<p>Planned 12th: AP English Lit, AP Calc BC, AP Physics C, AP German, Woodshop, P.E., and AP Macroecon</p>

<p>SAT (first sitting, not going to retake): 2340</p>

<p>I’m interested in Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Columbia, Brown, Oxbridge, Williams, and Amherst. In terms of safeties, Colgate, Emerson College, CMU, EFT Zurich, and a couple state schools are my main interests. (Possible Psych or Sociology major)</p>

<p>Anyway, here’s where the issues start. Basically, I go to school with a bunch of braindead ignoramuses who couldn’t reason their way out of a freaking Chinese finger trap, but who are all little grinds that 1. Study their butts off so they can fake smartness on tests and 2. Suck up to the teachers like human vacuum cleaners. My school knows this, so our AP classes are geared to busy work and other crap that anyone with half a brain can do. I mean, yeah, a lot of people pass the AP tests too, but that’s mostly just because they studied for months. </p>

<p>I, however, am actually smart, and have no need for studying or kindergarten work. I mean, I still did my homework, for the most part, in freshman and sophomore year, but that was before I figured myself out better and realized that everyone at school was a poser and there was no need to be a conformist. About halfway through this year I stopped doing a lot of assignments, and virtually did none from April to now. I still aced the tests and probably kicked butt on the APs, but, unfortunately, my teachers don’t care that I actually know the material and understand it on a much deeper level than most people do.</p>

<p>As you can see, my grades aren’t a total disaster yet, but if my teachers have their way, they will be by the final marking period. My English teacher for example, is ****ed because I never turned in three stupid projects, even though I wrote superlative essays for her class, did well on every test, and didn’t even talk or mess around when people were presenting the projects I didn’t do. I asked her for extra credit but she said no and started haranguing me about “entitlement,” which was just ridiculous and, honestly, crossing the line to speak to a student so sharply. It just angers me, because English used to be my best subject before I became overwhelmed by the pointlessness of the busywork. </p>

<p>Calc is another major problem because homework is 40% of our grade and unless I do every assignment from now on, I’ll get a B+. Also, the teacher is mad at me now because I “disrespected” him by texting in class, even though everyone does it and the only reason I got caught was because I starting laughing hysterically at a text. Gov is also in danger of becoming a B, but thankfully our teacher went on maternity leave and the substitute doesn’t really know what he’s doing and I think I can convince him to give me extra credit and stuff.</p>

<p>Computers and Tech is probably going to stay where it is (a B), but it’s just a stupid graduation requirement and I don’t really care. </p>

<p>I also have problems related to extracurriculars. Basically, I don’t have any right now. I started a Finer Things club that was going to be awesome, but then a bunch of pretentious d-bags started showing up at every meeting and ruined it. I said the club was canceled, but then they started it again behind my back and now someone else is going to get credit as president and founder. I was also on the lit magazine staff, but my mom made me quit and do Math Club instead because she got sick of hearing me “whining” about all the stupid idiots in editor positions. I’m technically still on the Math Club team, but I don’t really go to the meetings because they’re a waste of time, and had to miss most of the competitions this year due to illness and stuff. </p>

<p>I’m also on the Sci Oly team, but I’m probably going to quit because this annoying girl was elected captain even though I’m a better player and it just irritates me. I do community service, but I’m worried that it isn’t enough.</p>

<p>I was also planning to use track as a hook, because I was in the running for varsity captain this year and probably would have gotten it, too. But the school kicked me off the team and suspended me in November because of an unfortunate incident that the school says was sexual harassment, but which was really me slapping my teammate’s butt (which he SAID WAS OKAY, btw) and rubbing his shoulders (which he denied initiating, but he did) and some very minor comments that, in the context of the situation, would not be considered harassment if he hadn’t decided to report it and act like it was a harassment situation instead of a mutual incident. My parents also got very angry about the situation and grounded me and took away my electronics, meaning that I could not call any of my friends and ask them to ask for an Earthwatch recommendation for me while I was suspended. So I lost a summer opportunity too. I didn’t get into ANY summer programs I applied to. For some of them it was because I missed the application deadline and they didn’t bother reading my application, and for others I think my teachers might have been a little harsh in their recs, as it was around the time that recs were due that I stopped doing a lot of work.</p>

<p>I’m also worried because I was going to take AP Micro (in addition to Macro) next year, and take AP Psych too (I might be a psych major, so it was really important to me), but my counselor told me I can’t due to missing graduation reqs. The school requires three years of P.E., and since I was kicked off track I am now missing a year and have to take it next year, except this time it has to be regular P.E. because I’m not allowed on any sports teams now. The school also has a Manual Skills req that I didn’t know about, and unfortunately I chose to make a “that’s what she said” joke about the req’s name that my counselor got extremely offended by. I got suspended again, though only for a day because the administration didn’t think the joke was as ill-intentioned as she found it. But anyway, now I have two issues: not as many APs next year as I would like, and also my counselor says she isn’t willing “at this time” to write a rec for me next year. </p>

<p>So what can I do over the summer and next fall to get my counselor to trust me again and be willing to write a letter of rec? I was going to send her a surprise fruit bouquet and some chocolate and stuff, but my friend said that could be misconstrued due to my history at school. Also, what else should I be doing to strengthen my app in terms of summer? I don’t just want to sit around, and my parents only want me to do these engineering research opportunities that I don’t want to do, because I don’t want to be an engineer whereas they are in denial that I want to do anything else, and are trying to pressure me into going to ETH Zurich. They also want me to do a cotillion class because they’re concerned I don’t know fancy etiquette and also, frankly, they want me to meet a girlfriend or something there. They’re worried I’m gay and don’t get it when I try to explain what bisexuality is, and would probably react just as badly if I told them I was bi. Anyway, I think it would be pretty stupid to do cotillion just to soothe my parents, because it sounds dumb and wouldn’t do anything for my apps, right?</p>

<p>Also, is it an emergency if one or two of my grades drop to Bs or B+s? Any advice for dealing with my teachers? Or finding new extracurriculars? Keep in mind that many teams and clubs at my school are run by people I can’t stand, or are off limits to me, so it would be better if anyone had advice about extra stuff outside my school. </p>

<p>Also, if you could give me a ballpark estimate on chancing for my schools, that would be cool too.</p>

2

<p>Make sure your personality doesn’t penetrate through your college essays. If it does, you will be rejected immediately.</p>

<p>/facepalm</p>

3

<p>Well, first things first. Your grades are great, but not Harvard material. You can give excuses and explanations as much as you want, but no admissions counselor is going to care. </p>

<p>Your SAT score is fabulous and that will be of much help to you when applying. </p>

<p>However, I don’t feel that any of your schools are truly a “good fit” for you. The Ivies are reaches, or most of the Ivies are reaches, and you don’t have any in between schools. </p>

<p>Why not add an Ivy look-alike like Georgetown, or Wake Forest, Tufts, Duke, UVA, etc. Those are great schools and I think you will definitely get in with your grades and your SAT score. </p>

<p>You can’t really make excuses like you’re better than everyone else and the people who run the clubs you can’t stand–that’s just unacceptable. You need to really mend your relationships with your teachers–request a conference with them or talk to them after class and apologize to them for your past behavior, etc. and you hope that they still respect you and know that you respect them and would be embarrassed if they thought badly of you.</p>

4

<p>You might be smart, but your interpersonal skills certainly leave something to be desired…</p>

<p>Might want to work on that part first.</p>

5

<p>Holy crap, you seem like a terrible person! I mean, I’m sure you already know that, given your high level of intelligence. Do us all a favor and do not apply to college. You know what, join the military - at least there you can take out your juvenile rage on SOMETHING. Well, no, actually, you should probably just get a vasectomy. </p>

<p>Do you like being talked down to? No way - you’re too smart for people to do that! Here’s a tip: you’re not as smart as you think. Good luck with admissions, jackass.</p>

6

<p>Actually, in re-reading his post, I think he must be a ■■■■■. I have a hard time believing somebody could be this conceited.</p>

7

<p>Okay, part of the problem is that my parents don’t want me to apply to many schools that aren’t Ivy League. I don’t have a job or anything, and I emptied my savings account last year to buy a new laptop because the old one got all screwed up after I spilled coffee on it (and my parents wouldn’t chip in because apparently I shouldn’t have been drinking liquids at the computer, or whatever). They’re the ones who have to pay for the application fees, and my parents won’t pay the fees for any school they don’t like. They just want me to suck it up and go Zurich because the fees aren’t as high there and they’re concerned that I’m out of touch with my heritage, or some sentimental bullcrap. </p>

<p>My parents have been REALLY hard on me since the suspensions and because one of my friends (who was one of the only nonconformist, actually cool people I know) got arrested for drug possession. They want me to be an engineer and go to whatever school they choose, and won’t listen to reason.</p>

<p>I guess I could try to get a job, but there basically aren’t any around here, and it’s a waste of my time anyway.</p>

8

<p>As far as conferences go, I’m not really worried about what my teachers think of me at this point, as long as my grades stay up. My English, Calc, and Comp/Tech teachers are really angry at me but whatever. There’s nothing I can do, and if I have a conference with them they’ll just take the chance to lecture me instead of listening to my side of the story, about how hard it’s been to be intellectually unchallenged and frustrated. </p>

<p>I’m starting to think about college essays for next year, and I know I should probably try to explain the disciplinary problems or something in my Common App essay, but I was also considering used this ****ed-up year as the topic and writing about how hard it was to force myself through stupid classes.</p>

<p>Should I even bother doing the homework for the classes where my grade is slipping, or can a B+ or two be passed off as a random screw-up and not hurt me?</p>

9

<p>Haha, wow, I guess you should be glad you didn’t know me in middle school then, caligulashorse. I know I’m still kind of conceited, but I can’t really help how I feel.</p>

10

<p>Whoa… okay you got one part of the college admissions process done and you did it well: your SATs. Now when your teachers expect you to “conform” to their grading, homework is 40% of our grade and unless I do every assignment from now on, I’ll get a B+, you don’t do it. Your choice. Don’t do it and your grades will decline. </p>

<p>Let’s review your post: Englist teacher is “mad” at you for not finishing her two “stupid” projects. Your school kicked you off the track team because somehow you were suspended for your sexual misconduct, then b/c of that, you can’t take some psych class, and then b/c you don’t have any ECs b/c of some annoyng girl. At what point do you start taking responsibility for your actions? You are wasting your chances to get into a top school. You’re not showing you’re ready.</p>

11

<p>Look, I’m trying to be more responsible, because according to a lot of people I have been somewhat irresponsible over the past year or so. However, I do feel that, though I could have handled things differently, a lot of outside forces affected my ability to hold myself accountable for this crap. I’ve become gradually less religious and more pessimistic over my life, and this year I stopped going to Mass entirely, not even for Christmas. When I stopped believing in God, I realized that if I found schoolwork too annoying to consider doing, there was nothing that could stop my apathy towards schoolwork. I was born with a temperament that gets bored easily, and I was also born with a temperament that doesn’t have much motivation to change or improve myself. It sucks, but how can people expect me to change myself fundamentally if I was not born with the ability to do so? Losing my religion has caused me to ponder a lot of these kinds of things.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’m trying to be responsible, but there’s only so much I can do. If outside forces inhibit my ability to be responsible, I don’t know what I can do. Like my school and the accuser involved in the “sexual harassment” incident overreacting/lying and banning me from all sports teams - what am I supposed to do about that? It wasn’t my fault, and now half of the school’s extracurricular activities are off limits to me before even looking at other issues with various teams and clubs.</p>

12

<p>At first I was like “you’ve got to be kidding me”, but then I realized that this guy is HARDCORE ■■■■■■■■. </p>

<p>Nothing to see here people.</p>

13

<p>I see possible ADD and possible depression here. I also see semi-typical adolescent rebellion compounded by being a first gen immigrant. If you and your parents haven’t considered family therapy, you should. Do your best to find a therapist with some knowlege about the dynamics of immigrant families.</p>

<p>Money seems to be a concern for your parents. Spend some of your free time this summer educating yourself about household finance and college budgeting. Find out about colleges that would be happy to admit you because of your SAT score. If your grades don’t collapse too far, some of those places will offer you serious merit aid. Read the thread on guaranteed merit scholarships in the Financial Aid Forum.</p>

14

<p>Look, HiimCole, claiming that I’m a ■■■■■ and not even trying to suggest anything to help me is really rude and annoying. I don’t have anyone who can advise me on this stuff, because my friends and family are just as clueless about this sort of thing as I am, and my counselor, obviously, is not willing to help me right now.</p>

<p>Yeah, happymom, money is kind of an issue for us. We used to be really well off, but then my dad decided to invest all his retirement savings in some random-ass sushi chain that folded within, like, the first two months of the Great Recession. Also, my mom’s cousin’s son moved here from Poland but couldn’t find a good job, so he’s staying with us right now (and being a really whiny *****, too) and sucking up our money while he sits around and gossips with my mom about me in Polish, which I can understand just enough of to know he’s insulting me. </p>

<p>My dad forced me to apply for a job last fall, but Starbucks rejected me for having an “attitude.”</p>

<p>In terms of therapy, my mom says it’s only for crazy people and screw-ups. She might be willing to do a church-based thing, but I’m kind of wary of stepping foot in there after telling my former priest that he was a liar and suckling on the teat of a corrupt church (yeah, I know that sounds terrible, but that guy drove me insane).</p>

<p>Thanks for actually responding, though.</p>

<p>In terms of my lack of extracurriculars, will it matter to Oxford or Cambridge? Don’t British schools tend to disregard activities outside the curriculum?</p>

15

<p>Here you go again with the opinion that it’s someone else’s fault. You’re looking for advice, right? Well, unless you like places like Starbucks telling you they won’t hire you because you have an attitude or a teacher not giving you a decent grade because you won’t follow her requirements, you will continue to sound frustrated.</p>

<p>Look at this:

You continue to say “I don’t have control of this.” Guess what? You do. You can complete the homeworks and hand them in. You can apologize for that sexual assault thing, take the consequences, and move on. You can start to look into joining some ECs that will take you and make the best of it. You can start to build your tolerance for all those annoying people, because they’re everywhere, so you better make the best of it. And you can try again for a job at Starbuck’s with a smile, not a snarl.</p>

16

<p>I’m just really resentful of the injustices that the high school experience breeds. In college, no one gives a flying ---- if you know how to copy information from a textbook onto your homework questions or cut construction paper into pretty shapes. It’s all about doing the reading and actually, and I know the thought may be shocking to certain people, using your brain to comprehend and evaluate the material. </p>

<p>I’m just not sure I even want to do the missing assignments anymore. My calc teacher calling me out in front of the class and confiscating my cell phone was shocking and obnoxious to me, and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of actually trying anymore in his pathetic class. </p>

<p>The whole possibility of getting a job is slightly complicated by the fact that I can’t drive (forbidden by parents until eighteen), and I stupidly allowed my second cousin to use my bike a few months ago in a parkour video we were filming that resulted in the bike getting completely ruined. </p>

<p>Would drama be a good extracurricular activity even though I’ve never been involved in it before? It’s one of the only clubs that I could deal with being a member of, because the members are mostly slackers/stoners that I can boss around and who won’t care if I list myself as president. Plus I can’t ever imagine the drama teacher kicking me out no matter what I did. He’s a chill guy.</p>

17

<p>Stop whining. You have a major problem with your personality. Until you open yourself and stop being so myopic, you’ll appreciate more things in life. Thus you will be able to be happier and do things the right matter. As of now, you will not get anywhere in life, if you continue your little “attitude”.
Yes. This is not what YOU want to hear, but the truth hurts. I just had to comment because I took so much time reading your ridiculous story. Thank you. Good night.</p>

18

<p>Wow. I think most kids would love going to school where busy work gives you an A. In my calc class, we don’t get homework. The grade is based on tests and finals</p>

19

<p>limabeans and happymom’s posts are nice… the others… wow. for some reason I can’t help being surprised by the venom that posts like your’s often seem to elicit, because from my point of view your OP seems like a really sincere post, very honest and thoughtful. </p>

<p>um, loosing your faith must be interesting, probably disquieting. It seems to be a part of a larger transition that’s going on for you, though.</p>

<p>So your parents want you to go to a top school, and to be an engineer. I don’t really agree with limabean when he says you’re not showing you are ready. You’re showing that you’re a bit troubled, that you’re thinking about things. And thinking about things is actually making it harder to conform unfortunately, which is a useful thing to do, if one wants to get into a good school. But the environment of such a college is very different than your current academic environment, like you said; your success in this one can’t be carried over very well without certain qualifications. Like I think you would probably excel in a challenging and engaging environment (your SAT score is certainly a good indicator of that), but you just might not be able to do the necessary things required to gain admission to one (or not be able to them without great difficulty), because of the school you go, the circumstances your in, the outlooks you’ve developed, etc.</p>

<p>It all started when society started to give you some negative responses right. Like Starbucks rejecting you on account of you’re attitude, or the incidents with the teachers at school, or on the sports teams, your slipping grades. Then you start to wonder whether these criticisms of you have any merit, or what meaning the merit they have has, etc.
Then you become a bit critical of the system, because suddenly the injustice or irrationalities of it are very real, they are affecting you directly. It’s no longer supporting you.</p>

<p>Like, I don’t think you are the things that those behaviors might reflect. I think there’s a sad positive feedback thing that goes on. The system’s rejections of you promote the undesirable behaviors that lead to the rejections. So it can easily all become a cycle.</p>

<p>But so you seem capable of getting a job and so on. You don’t have to apply to colleges at all, even, at least not next year. Personally I wouldn’t do the homework if you find it a hard thing to get yourself to do. I don’t know if you have interests that you want to pursue, or a sense of direction, but you’re very intelligent, with a good deal of potential. The world is very interesting even if society can be oppressive. I don’t know, I think there are options, even if they might be difficult of scary options. It all depends if you have aims or a direction or not; or if you develop them. If you don’t know what you want to do with your life at all yet, if you’re not committed to anything, then maybe just persevere - adjust the list of schools you plan to apply to perhaps, tell you’re parents you are doing you best, try
to make them empathetic to you’re situation if that’s possible, and so on.</p>

<p>That seems awfully hard though. At least in my case I couldn’t stop things from, how do you say it, unraveling. good luck…you’re a good person, at least you come across as the type of person I think I tend to admire, and that’s even despite the fact that these posts are probably not great reflection of yourself.</p>

20

<p>@jengajenga- yeah, it seems pretty awesome. My school is all about the tests and quizzes- even in PE!</p>