<p>S has been receiving acceptances which is very exciting. But now we are getting emails asking how serious he is about the school as they are trying to decide who to send scholarships to. I'm sure there are others who have been through this or are going through this. What do you do? Until all the offers come in you don't know which one you are taking. So do you lie? Or at least exaggerate the interest. After all you don't want to turn away the school that might be about to offer the best deal!!!!</p>
<p>It is awkward, especially in the situation where you have a prior connection to the school. Sometimes, the department or studio will lose access to those funds if the student ends up declining the scholarship. The best thing to do, I guess, is to be as transparent as possible - if he likes the school, let them know that he’s interested but that money is an issue. And when he declines one or more of the offers, he should have the courtesy to make personal contact and thank them for their interest.</p>
<p>And - by the way - congratulations!</p>
<p>Is this common for a school to call a student after audition & acceptance? Do they call every student they accept after auditions or just the ones they really want? Are MULTIPLE calls a good sign that scholarship money may be forthcoming? Or is it just a general “checking in” they do with everyone regardless of interest level?</p>
<p>Behave as if every college contacting you is the college of your dreams. </p>
<p>… because it very well could be, depending on their scholarship offer.</p>
<p>I remember at the information session on my S’s audition day at USC they specifically said that once you get an acceptance from us it is our turn to court you so don’t be surprised if we call to check in…something like that. Shortly after his acceptance they did call him. The Chair of the Dept. was so warm and welcoming which sealed the deal.</p>
<p>Thank you all. Maikai I’m thinking along your lines. All the schools he auditioned at he liked. And the “favorite” to a large degree will depend on funding. You just hate to feel like you are lying or stringing them along!</p>
<p>^i totally agree with this line of thinking. My kids applied only to those schools that they really, really liked and wanted to attend. Of course, since money was a factor, they had to have a school on their list that could be considered a financial safety in addition to being an admissions safety. But they only put schools on their lists if they could imagine themselves happily attending. From the very start, scholarship offers were a large part of my kids’ strategies. One school could be a real “dream school” for them, but if their second or third favorite school offered huge money and their “dream school” did not – well, their second or third choice became their “dream school!” That was the benefit of thoroughly researching their schools and choosing to apply only to those schools that were very appealing to them, in terms of match and fit. </p>
<p>So, “How serious are you about attending?” We’ll, that depends on how serious you are about having me! Not to be mercenary about it, but fair is fair! Why should the schools hold all the cards right up until the bitter end? </p>
<p>This sort of thinking IS awkward and uncomfortable for me. I prefer to be always gracious and forthcoming. But at these prices, and given the impact these decisions can have on the rest of a student’s life, looking for a college is like running a business. These are business decisions. So, it seems to me, our kids must look after their own best interests at this stage of the game. </p>
<p>(I WILL say that it DOES feel uncomfortable in the end when one must turn down very generous and thoughtful offers. Oh, well. :o )</p>
<p>So your son got the email from Hartt today too? 
I thinhk it is all part of marketing. D knows the profs hers came from pretty well and the email was almost certainly not written soley by them since it sounds nothing like either of them. I think in this case it is a University email, also coming from the studio, letting you know that the prof does not decide the scholarship amount his/herself and that he/she is interested in your child.</p>
<p>Other schools have continued to “court” her, but those emails were definitely just from the professors.</p>
<p>She will likely answer truthfully - that she is serious about all the schools she applied to, but the list is getting smaller as the scholarship information gets announced. She refuses to go into debt for her bachelors and didn’t complete the audition at any school she couldn’t see herself as a part of their studio.</p>
<p>My daughter was asked if she was really interested or if she was just shopping around in her most recent audition. Thankfully, due to this forum I had prepared her for a certain line of questioning like this, but I think it still surprised her a little.</p>
<p>True story - happened to my kid yesterday. Rather than go through all details here’s the nutshell version. Teacher at school wants my kid and wanted to know where the school stood on the list (via email) which was an unofficial acceptance note. Teacher also in email states that if they do not hear back in 48 hours they will assume you are not interested. Teacher arranges to call my kid to discuss school. Nothing is documented except for time of call. During call Teacher mentions that my kid is their first choice and asks of complete list of all schools that were auditioned at. Teacher states - that puts us in the middle of your list of preferences, doesn’t it. My kid agrees. Teacher states - I appreciate that you told the truth and have been candid with me. I will still make you an offer, but another student, on my list will now get the money I was going to offer you…and by the way some of the schools on the top of your list (this was assumed, not conveyed to teacher) will never come up with the kind of money we could have. Hopefully the person that really wants to attend this school will be very happy and able to and things will work out on our side as well.</p>
<p>@patientpoppa, That’s more than a little chilling. We’re still waiting on scholarship letters from Ds first choice school. They have called her several times and she has been pretty plain that she wants to go there more than any place else but that money is definitely a consideration. Hope that was the right answer! It’s pretty scary to step back and let them handle it - I knew it had to happen but when I hear a tale like yours, yikes!</p>
<p>Best of luck - hope your son gets into his top choice with a great offer!</p>
<p>I knew I followed this forum for a reason ! We’ve been negotiating ourselves through some strange emails from prospective schools as well and though I assumed we weren’t the only ones, it’s nice to hear first hand some other similar experiences. We are holding fast with two rules : no such thing as a "fall back " school- treat them all with the same respect and solemnity BUT don’t let anyone utz you into a premature decision. March is turning into the roller coaster that many others have written about.</p>
<p>We had my kid’s favorite prof write to her and tell her that there was almost no merit funding for the department this year but was there still interest ?, only to be followed by another email a few hours later informing us that our prospective student is being considered for rather generous third party national scholarship ! Up and down we go.</p>
<p>I’m so glad I started this. That’s the great thing about CC. We are all in the same stressful boat! Good luck everyone!!!</p>
<p>Glad you started this thread too. I thought we were alone. My D sent a gracious email to a school yesterday. They had asked the same question: “how serious are you”? I believe her reply was fair and honest. It’s early in the process and emotionally our whole family is trying very hard to stay easy with this. Yes the decision comes down to fit and finances.<br>
Alas! these uber talented kids of ours ")</p>
<p>Assuming your child has not applied anywhere that wasn’t a good “fit”, then it comes down to finances… period.</p>
<p>Again, IMHO, the answer should be something like “You are clearly my number one choice. I’m so excited about getting accepted and I want to attend your school very much! But finances are very difficult for my family. The only thing that could dissuade me from your school was if a lower choice offered us more.”</p>
<p>This is about as fair and honest as any child should be. </p>
<p>Tell them anything other than their school is the number one school in your mind and you’ve just told them you think they work at a second rate place.</p>
<p>Tell me, how would you like someone saying they have their eye on another talented student… but if they don’t enroll for some reason, we’d be perfectly happy to have you! Wouldn’t that sting a little bit? Wouldn’t that take the shine off of attending that place, at least a little? You betcha it would!</p>
<p>Now, imagine they told you, of all the students applying, they want you the most and they are very excited at the prospect of you attending. Do you think that would make you feel good about yourself? Would it make you feel wanted? Do you think you might be a bit more likely to think you’d be a good fit there? Might you even choose a place like that if it came down to a dead even tie between two?</p>
<p>Think people… think.</p>
<p>ok thanks for that strong response. Much to think about…</p>
<p>Patientpoppa, I find your story quite upsetting, although since my own son is graduating, I don’t have a dog in this race ;)</p>
<p>If I recall correctly, my son’s scholarship contract/offer from his preferred school (UMich) stated that under NASM regulation students had the right to give full consideration to their offers until May 1st, BUT they encouraged students who made an early decision to respond in writing and confirm OR to free up otherwise committed funding if they were able.</p>
<p>In his case, his merit awards (combined) totaled tuition, so it was not an insubstantial amount. Though his prospective department head did communicate with him to let him know “news was en route” etc., there was none of this kind of nonsense.</p>
<p>This kind of gave me the impression that to finagle or otherwise coerce a student into tipping their hand in advance was unethical and contravened the spirit of NASM. Perhaps I am mistaken, but ethically speaking, a person of power just tricked your son out of what might have been a very lucrative option.</p>
<p>While I normally encourage my son to tell the truth in all matters, had he been pressed in this way I think I might have coached him as suggested to either say something along the lines of “the field is wide open until I review my offers, as is my right” and/or “there is no such thing as “middle” until the financial picture is complete” etc. I know that sounds cagey, but I feel adults who play that game with a minor deserve to have the gaming thrown right back at them ;)</p>
<p>This whole topic area is a pet peeve of mine, I suppose. Early in the process, a more regional but reasonably well regarded school was a possible option for my son, because academically, the school had already offered him virtually a full ride (eg. funding beyond tuition). But the music school there seemed to treat him with a “oh nevermind” kind of attitude during a visit once they’d heard (after asking) where else he’d applied. (In his case, his portfolio had been reviewed at some upper tier programs and he’d been invited to interview/auditions.)</p>
<p>Which I suppose told us all we needed to know about that particular SOM in a way 
(At that point, he withdrew from that school.)</p>
<p>At any rate, I feel bad for your kid, so hex upon the person who did that. I will instead, however, hope for great news from his “top” picks ;)</p>
<p>PS I certainly hope it wasn’t my son’s school that did that. I realize every studio, teacher, dept head is different so that it doesn’t necessarily reflect the conduct of the entire place…but I’m pretty sure they’re NOT supposed to do that at my son’s school!</p>
<p>KMCmom13 Thank you for the post and your sympathy regarding what happened in the story I posted. A few things to note - First and most importantly it was not U of Mich @ Ann Arbor. UM is a class act, excellent school and all communication we have had with them has been absolutely professional. The school this happened at stated the guidelines in their parent presentation and mentioned what you stated above, including that the only communication with the potential students would come via letter (yes, waitlist, maybe) and the teachers would not be contacting the kids to feel them out. They also mentioned that you get the offer and that’s it, no leverage from other offers that come in.
The irony is that the teacher that called my kid assumed that the school was in the middle of the list after my kid gave up the list of nine we trekked to. So someone else may have a great offer now, which is great since my kid did not want to tell this teacher that after our third trip there and how the audition was conducted (that’s a story unto itself) the school had moved on the list to umm 9th place. I’m convinced it will all work out in the end. This is our second trip down music major lane and everything worked out well with my older kid too who graduated gosh - almost a year ago!</p>
<p>During one of those financial reality meetings some state schools like to hold for parents on audition day the guy in charge spent about ten minutes on how you should NOT be pressured by any school for an early decision and how to ignore the warnings about losing scholarship money by not committing early . Thankfully , his school has not been one of the ones with the urgent emails. </p>
<p>To you old timers out there- Am I correct in assuming that the schools we applied to that have a commitment to making up the difference between EFC and tuition + room and board will be the very last ones we hear from? I mean, the ones we auditioned at had similar policies ( 5% only in loans after EFC, or a cap of say, 20k for four years ) so what’s to bargain about ? Either you are in or not. Is it just the schools that don’t have the big endowments that are pressuring us early with endless patchworks of odd scholarships ?</p>
<p>^Jb, I don’t know that you can assume that. Schools that vary in size and calculation methodology may have myriad reasons to release packages and decisions earlier or later than others.</p>
<p>Some schools like to include their scholarship offers with the acceptance. Others don’t operate that way, and issue the acceptance, then the talent scholarship info, and then the financial aid info if applicable. In the case of a large school, with “need informed” packaging, for example, that would mean that they accept you, then try to see if all your CSS/FAFSA paperwork is in order (eg having to rely on another department for same) and then participating in the group meetings to discuss how to divvy up the available talent awards. In addition, at those types of schools, there is also the coordination of academic scholarships as well (eg. if they give you full tuition academically…the scholarship committee may well need to know that before deciding to give another award, for example.)</p>
<p>So I’m not sure the process is either uniform across school or as cut and dried as you suggest.</p>