<p>I know parental intervention on their kid's behalf is taking a beating right now in the press and world at large, so I am wondering what others would do in this situation. D is either first or second in a very large class. She took the English language AP on Monday and missed 3 1/2 classes to do so. In class X, the teacher told them that a current event would be due on Friday. D attended class X on T, W. and Th and no mention was made of the current event. On Friday, D took APUSH. This time she missed 4 classes. In last hour, a friend was working furiously on current event and asked D if she had finished hers. "What current event????" Class X is third hour, so the friend was late finishing it (and had not taken APUSH). Friend said that she was late other times and the teacher let her finish it over the weekend. D stopped by to tell teacher that she did not know about the current event and would do it over the weekend. Teacher blew up at her and said she would get a zero for not doing the current event and was irresponsible not to know that it was assigned. D has been studying almost 24 hours a day for two APs and SAT on Saturday. Giving her a zero could make a difference between A and B in this class, which is very difficult honors class. Knowing how some colleges value the val/sal, it is hard for me to see her be knocked out over something so ridiculous. Or should I just let her take her knocks? It just seems really unfair that teacher has let others turn in the current events late for no justification and given them almost full points...Maybe all these tests are just getting to me too!</p>
<p>You might want to write a nice note asking to speak to the teacher and a meeting may be in order. But I have always stressed and stressed and stressed to my kids that when they miss a class, they must check in with the teacher and find out what they missed. They should send a note before missing a class if they know in advance, and a note after missing the class, with a list of what they have gleaned that they need to turn in, test info, assignment, etc. I even tell them to use red marker in titling the note so it is flagged; so important this is. It is really the student's job to get the assignments, test dates, projects--everything when they miss a class, and they need to have the info verified by the teacher; they cannot imply from what is said in class and not even from info from other students. I have made this a cardinal rule because of the many reasons my kids have missed class as they were in so many events being in the arts, taking college boards, being in sports. My son had a horrible problem a few years ago when he knew a memo was circulated to the teachers about those kids going on some school sponsored thing who were to be given their assignements and extentions and info. He felt it absolved him of the responsibility and did not bother to go through the old procedure I had hammered into his head, and lo, and behold, he got nailed by an unsympathetic teacher who did not acknowledge the memo. </p>
<p>When you talk to this teacher, do acknowledge your D's responsibility in this matter, and that she has learned a valuable lesson and what she will do in the future. Do not go charging in there, because it truly was your D's responsibility. Just because a teacher lets some things go at times does not mean you will get the same pass.</p>
<p>Sad to say, but jamimom is right. I would take her advice. If indeed the teacher accepts late work for this particular assignment from other kids and singles out your D by not accepting her work, that would be really unfair. It may just be Ds luck that this one assignment won't be allowed late for anybody. </p>
<p>As for val or sal, it shouldnt be the determining factor for admission.</p>
<p>I would still meet with the teacher. He could have just been in a really bad mood when your daughter spoke to him, or she may have approached it in a way that was not so tactful (as my son did when he knew a memo about the absence was given to the teachers). If you do the old "mea culpe" act and let them know that she has learned a valuable lesson, it might soften the teacher up a bit. As to the friend turning in that assignment late, it is one thing if you catch a teacher the same day and give him the assignment, and another to ask for a weekend extension because you did not get the assignments for the class you missed. I know my son has "scammed" some teachers by taking off the morning to finish up an unfinished assignment due that day, or even taken off the entire day, by feigning illness or some other excuse, as I would not be party to such business. That has been a bit of problem with my boys. So you don't want to bring up other people's business unless you know the whole story.</p>
<p>I think I'd sit tight for a few days and see if the teacher actually carries through with the threat, first. It may have just been one of those "moments".</p>
<p>No point in getting involved until there is actually something to get involved over.</p>
<p>I would not wait too long. Once a grade goes throught the system, it can can be more difficult to get the teacher to change it. I do think that the teacher had one of those "moments" though, and he may well change his mind. Has D turned in the late project with an apology note attached? Any feedback from the teacher about it?</p>
<p>Just my opinion, but if it were my kid, I would let her deal with it on her own and accept the consequence. If it were an issue of failing a class because of an arbitrary, unfair decision -- I might see it differently. But I wouldn't get into it over the difference between an A or a B, or worrying about subtle differences in class rank.</p>
<p>That doesn't mean I wouldn't help my kid. It's just that my approach is more along the lines of helping my kids to help themselves. If my daughter needed input, then we would discuss how she should approach the teacher on her own - what to say, how to try to smooth things over. </p>
<p>It wouldn't happen at this point -- it's the kind of thing we discussed when she was in the 5th grade. My son grew up to be a forceful advocate who would happily argue a point incessantly with a teacher - it was a running joke among the teachers. My daughter adopted a different strategy - she turns on the charm. But both kids are pretty good at resolving problems with teachers on their own. </p>
<p>I'm not claiming that my answer is right for everyone. It's not a matter of whether it is the kid's fault or not in terms of making advance arrangements, or whether or not the teacher's decision is fair. Life isn't always fair. It's just a matter of where you think your responsibility ends and your kid's begins. I guess every parent has their own standards in that area. </p>
<p>For what its worth, if my kid did come to me for advice, I would tell her to do the project and have it ready on Monday along with a written note of apology to the teacher, explaining the circumstances but not making excuses. Just because the teacher said there would be a zero doesn't mean the teacher won't relent; it's going to be easier to convince the teacher to give at least partial credit if the project is in hand.</p>
<p>Happened to my D in the second semester of junior year. She missed a class for an out of town band event. Checked back with all of her teachers except one. Wouldn't you know it, it was a class in which they had a test that day and she missed the test--in fact, she didn't know the class hadn't taken a test.</p>
<p>Found out about it on the last day of school when she got an B in the class (when she had been expecting an A). She was very mad at herself (it was her first B). </p>
<p>Teacher had already left for the summer. She wrote the teacher a nice letter, apologizing and detailing all the hard work she had done in the class, etc. and asked if she could take a make up test or do something else to make up for it. Basically begged for mercy--but realized that it was in the power of the teacher to give or withhold mercy.</p>
<p>Teacher withheld mercy. Good lesson taught--D still went to college.</p>
<p>In my kids' HS, students taking AP classes were excused from school for the entire day. School policy is that when a student misses a class for "school sponsored activities" they are given an extra day for make-up - So a current event due for Friday would be due for Monday for those students. You may want to check with your own school's policy for that - or have your D do it. (It would also be in effect for band events.) If the teacher didn't allow the extra day, she may be remiss.</p>
<p>I'm all for responsibility, but in this case, I think the teacher needs to respect the students taking AP tests. Smart students don't get more hours in a day than others, and shouldn't be punished for it.</p>
<p>Is OP's D a senior? Our HS class rank is determined after first semester - final semester doesn't affect it.</p>
<p>One last comment. I intervened in HS seldom -- but I did do it. My rule of thumb was that my kids were there for academics, not to jump hoops. I always had them try to fix a problem on their own, but if it seemed to be taking too much time, or they had a teacher who pulled power plays (my kids were quiet and respectful - not fighters, and I didn't see it as necessary to change them) I did step in. I can probably count on 3 fingers (for 2 kids) the number of times I actually did have to step in, but one of those times was in a situation similar to yours. The teacher roundly criticized me for not letting my "student" handle it. But I have no regrets, as she was not following school policy.</p>
<p>And at the end of the day, both S's are doing well in college, and are very responsible. My intervention did not make them "mama's boys." I have come to the conclusion that when this teacher said, "Parents should not be involved" it often means "I can't intimidate parents the way I can students."</p>
<p>Has your dd gone herself up the ladder of responsibility? Has she taken it to her guidance counselor? To the department head? If she can do that herself, it may be more effective that having you step in.</p>
<p>Or you may want to call the principal's office and verify "policy" about AP testing, as suggested by binx. But I'd do it in a way that simply asking to "clarify" the situation, not to ask the principal to step in (yet). That way, you're also notifying the principal & documenting the incident without seeming to take on your dd's battles.</p>
<p>Good luck - this is a tough one!</p>
<p>I agree with calmom. It was her responsibility to see what she missed in class. If a student had been sick that same day they would have the same obligations as your daughter. AP testing is not an excuse-we all have responsibilities and she needs to learn from this mistake. If it costs her a grade, then hopefully she won't repeat the mistake again.</p>
<p>Having worked in schools with many teachers I have seen many miscommunications. I would check the student handbook to see if there is a policy on making up assignments. If it isn't printed there you can find out what it is from the principal's office. With that information in hand, if indeed your daughter should be allowed to turn in the assignment late, I would call the teacher. There should be a policy, & your daughter & the teacher are both required to follow it. Without knowledge of that policy you really don't know where your daughter stands.</p>
<p>I might be totally off base but i see an undercurrent of concern by the Op on how this will affect the #1/#2 standing of the student.
S took the same two AP's this past week, Also missed class periods to do so. It's his responsibility by this age to check on class assignments just as he would if he was absent due to illness or when he has out of town responsibilities as a State Officer in a service club.We're leaving Wed. for older siblings out of state college graduation, he's missing 3 days of school.His responsibility again to inform the teachers,get the assignments and make sure his work is done for the following Monday.</p>
<p>Boy I guess this whole topic shows how old I am. When I was in school there was just no missing classes or school or tests! I do realize that it is necessary for AP's and the like today however, I am personally shocked that the kids get so much extra credit, get credit for assignments that aren't finished (but handed in the day due), get credit for things handed in late (unless of course, an excused absence). We would never have even bothered handing in an assignment that wasn't finished, etc. because we knew that you were going to get a big fat 0 (or an F).</p>
<p>Every situation is different, but it does seem unfair that some students get to turn things in late, etc. </p>
<p>I ditto jamimom's advice. Good luck!</p>
<p>Okay, this story has a win/win ending. I took jamimom's advice and wrote a short note (the wonders of e-mail). Teacher called an hour later, and was very firm about her policy that the current event can not be turned in late unless you are absent. (Thus it turned out D shot herself in the leg by going by to talk to the teacher, since otherwise she would have been deemed absent since she was not in class because of AP.) Teacher was not sure what D was worried about, however, because she has a very strong A, not a borderline one. So either D can't count or was too done in by AP tests and SAT fear to count. The zero should not make a difference to her overall grade. Whew! D gets a responsibility lesson and keeps her average.
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions.</p>
<p>I am very sorry, but when I read this thread I just had to shake my head over the inflexibility and idiocy of this teacher. Expecting students who are studying their brains out to take college level final exams that same week to turn in a ridiculous "current event" assignment clearly demonstrates the teacher's small-mindedness. This sounds like a school that discourages students from attending college. In my opinion, this is one situation in which the parent takes a stand...to the prinicipal if necessary. No offense, but all I could think was "This must be a public school."</p>
<p>Echosensei, I don't think the teacher is being an idiot or inflexible. She gave an assignment on Monday, due on Friday. The student was in her class Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday -- and apparently did not ask what she had missed on Monday. Most teachers see it as a student responsibility to ask about those things and make appropriate advance arrangements.</p>
<p>I am very happy for csshsm's sake that this will not affect her daughter's grade - and I certainly don't fault her daughter for messing up on this. We're all human, we all make mistakes. </p>
<p>The problem is that this is not the teacher's fault. This is the kid's mistake - because the daughter should have asked the teacher or her classmates on Tuesday what she missed on Monday, and then asked for an extension immediately if she didn't think she would be able to get the assignment done. </p>
<p>We ALL make mistakes like this on occasion - nobody can be perfect. But it's important to take responsibility for our own mistakes, too ... the kid who blames the teacher for being inflexible may grow up to be an adult who perceives the whole world stacked against her, full of banks charging outrageous late fees, nasty employers with inflexible rules about showing up to work on time and meeting deadlines, airlines that won't refund money for missed flights, etc. Yeah -- all of those practices can be pretty harsh .... but that's life.</p>
<p>Those of use who are able to acknowledge and accept our own mistakes live in a much friendlier, more reasonable world -- it turns out that when we plan better and do things on time, that things just tend to go more smoothly. So I really don't think it helps to blame the teacher for the kid's mistake.</p>
<p>My daughter faced a similar situation last year. She was scheduled to take an AP exam. A different teacher assigned a HUGE project for the same day. There was no flexibility on either side. </p>
<p>Did I intervene? No. I could have, but felt this was probably something that my daughter needed to solve for herself. </p>
<p>Daughter did talk to the teacher herself to try to get the project to give her an extra day but the teacher said no, and pointed out that, in life there are sometimes times when you are under stress and need to make choices and deal with things as best you can. She also pointed out that my daughter wasn't the only one facing the same challenge. </p>
<p>End result: daughter did the project, handed it in on time, took the test, did well, then collapsed. The interesting thing is, since that experience, she has been much better at keeping track of her assignments and budgeting her time.</p>
<p>Speaking strictly for myself, it's really, really hard not to jump in and come to my daughter's rescue at times like this --- but, sometimes kids only learn to swim when they have to.</p>