The merchant marine academies might be a good choice. IIRC they can go into civilian or military careers.
My daughter was interested in the military but she has asthma and would be disqualified. I think she still would consider working with the military in a civilian role.
Agreed about ROTC being a great option, but the notion of it being easier to get a scholarship via that route vs an academy has been a fallacy for about 10 years. ROTC is very heavily skewed towards STEM now and the scholarships are some of the most competitive in the country.
This thread is disgusting. If your snowflake doesn’t like getting up early or taking orders s/he is going to have some issues in life even without joining the military.
More young people die from suicide or opioid overdoses than in the military.
Agree ROTC is worth looking at. A cousin’s son participates at UW Milwaukee and loves it.
Probably only our youngest would be a good candidate for the military. The middle one had concussion issues so IDK but he’s the most natural leader. The youngest is the smartest, most athletic, most disciplined. If he wanted to join the military I’d just be proud but silently worry like a parent does. I’d prefer he went to an academy. Last spring his scout troop went to West Point for a camporee. What an amazing group of young people those cadets. The boys loved them. Going back this year.
Here’s a collection of random thoughts. The military is a different place than it was even 20 years ago in terms of having women at senior ranks. For better or worse, the military is moving to a blended retirement, more of a 401k and less of a defined benefit pension. If you join the army or marines, I would be prepared for a combat deployment. No matter how many states have legalized or decriminalized marijuana, the military has a zero-tolerance policy for pot or any other illegal drug use.
I rarely post on CC but this thread makes me very sad. I’m a female and enlisted in the Army at the ripe age of 18. I recently retired after 21 years of honorable service, with two tours to Korea, and one tour each to Iraq and Afghanistan. I’m also married to a retired service member, in fact we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. We have three daughters that were raised in the military way of life. Our son was born after I retired. I was a sergeant and a darn good one. My soldiers still call me for advice and I love them like they are my kids. Gone are the days before of folks yelling at you day and night. You exercise in the morning, work your 9-5 job, and go home. We worked hard and trained hard. The lifestyle is not for everyone, but it’s not a death sentence or waste of a brilliant academic career. I left the service with my MBA and no debt. My oldest is in college with all expenses paid thanks to our service. My kids are interested in serving, but if they did, I would support them. One of my last jobs was to adjudicate sexual assault cases. The military takes those cases very seriously and I worked countless hours ensuring the needs of survivors were met. In order to maintain an all volunteer force people have to volunteer, if not it WILL be your child serving mandatory military time without your consent.
If a kid suddenly claimed they’re “going to join the military”, boy or girl, the first reaction should be why, and see how much they’ve thought it through. Same as “I want to be a doctor”. Second, if it’s been thought through, talk about the academies and the difference with ROTC. See if she can join a JROTC, look at the requirements and opportunities in the different branches, the physical requirements also and what needs to be done so the requirements are met (cross country running, strength training, etc). If the plan looks well thought-out and realistic, help her find several colleges with ROTC and take her to visit.
Those include colleges as diverse as UMDBC, Dickinson, SDSU, Spelman, Loyola Chicago, Iowa State, RPI, St Thomas Twin Cities, or Miami-OH;
(BTW, all the people who are disgusted, keep in mind our military has as much, if not more, need for qualified officers as enlisted servicemen. If a kid has some talent, the different military branches rather have them learn and be useful in that way - STEM fields, but also really strong language skills - West Point has very strong language depts for instance, and the French/Arabic combo, Pashto, Urdu, or Farsi combined to technical training is much more important to them than one more serviceman. Part of the pushback here is about enlisting vs. going to college, and parents shouldn’t just go “cool, just join” when the kid is college-bound and could learn more specialized skills as a college graduate. If as a parent you’re certain your child isn’t suited for it, it’s worth thinking if your reasons are valid, because yes some kids aren’t suited to the military and the match will terrible for BOTH. And all parents worry about their kids in the military. It is absolutely normal and human, those grandstanding on a mother worrying about her daughter aren’t being helpful; moms who for personal or family reasons don’t want their kids to join or have a religious objection to weapons have a right to, that’s why we abolished the draft and before that had conscience objectors.)
We are a military family…husband served and retired from the Air Force after 23 years both as enlisted and as a Mustang (Prior enlisted Officer). When our daughter said she planned to join after college graduation, we felt pride. When our son who had always wanted to be an Air Force pilot, was told by the base commander (who took the time to visit with him in the hospital) that it wasn’t possible because he is a Type1 diabetic…we shed tears of disappointment right along with him. The military has been our family and will continue to be so even through retirement.
But the military is not for everyone…just judging by the misconceptions and preconceived notions in this thread. One big misconception is that TI’s/Drill Sergeants yell from sun up to sun down. Nope. Another misconception: Rampant mishandled sexual harrassment. Nope. Another misconception: All Military members are conservative. Nope. Our military is a reflection of our society…good & bad. Yet, missions must be accomplished regardless. The military is very effective in dealing with situations and applying the UCMJ so that uniformity and goals are reached. Folks do not stay in the military long if they cannot conform.
We are die hard, tree hugging African American/Hispanic liberals, and serving our country has been an honor and a privilege.
Thanks for all of the advice and for all of the stories of encouragement! We definitely would not be the great country we are without the service of so many young men/women. Lots to be proud of!!
I just feel it takes a specific type of person to be successful and flourish in that environment. I will make my daughter do her due diligence, after further talking to her the “appeal” isn’t to “serve country” it is;
*the stories which were meant to amaze imo
*so you and mom don’t have to pay for college
**see the world and new things
You can absolutely support the military and also know that it’s not for everyone.
You can support anything and know that there are certain people who shouldn’t do it.
Another thing is that some enlisted career paths have such high academic entry/training requirements that universities will grant college credits for them.
One younger HS alum experienced this after she enlisted in the Navy and successfully completed Nuke school and became a Nuke…a rating in which the Navy reports only the top 3% of enlisted sailors qualify for and one in which many officers with college degrees wash out.
When she separated, her engineering college granted her 2 years of credit towards her core major/engineering core requirements.
If my daughters decide to join the military after truly understand the requirements and making an educated decision I would feel terrified for them but that would just go along with the love, pride, and respect I would feel for them. While I don’t come from a true military family (my father was a private in the army during WWII years before I was born) I do believe that the military is an honorable choice in addition to college.
Actually, there is more of a need for more enlisted than officers. You can’t have an organization filled with managers with no one to manage. Officers are not standalone individuals and work alone.
Well, I haven’t mentioned it here yet but my D is applying to a military academy. Part of me is afraid of her being in harm’s way, but mostly, I am unbelievably proud of her.
Yes, she is my kid and I hate to sound like I’m bragging, but she is the most naturally disciplined, hardworking, and honest person I know. Almost all her ECs are community service oriented because that what she likes.
She has been thinking about this for years, but I was still very surprised when she actually started the app.
She’s had boot camp experiences and has come home energized. She loves getting up early, working out, and working together with other people. Leadership comes naturally for her.
She might get a medical disqualification, but she will give it her best shot anyway.
Sometimes I’ve thought if more people like her were willing to serve–not just in the military but in any capacity that suits them–the world would be a better place. My oldest is a specialized therapist interning with people with severe developmental disabilities. She also serves others but in a way that suits her. D18, though, seems like she was made for a military life.
She knows I worry about paying for college for her and my two younger kids, so I asked her if she was doing it for the financial benefit and she was shocked that I could think such a thing. She is not as interested in ROTC but I’ve suggested she apply to a couple of colleges with the branch she is interested in to keep that option open.
First of all, let me apologize. I did not intend to belittle anyone’s service. The use of the joking name was a reflection of the fact that my son is happy that his friend will be safe while serving our country and an acknowledgement that a portion of our defense is now done, not on a battlefield, but in an off site facility. I don’t apologize for not wanting my children to enter into the military life. I know many people who have served and who are currently serving and I respect them and all others who serve. However, I don’t think that any of my children has the right temperament to serve or to lead. One has Aspergers, another has ODD, another has vision so bad that he can’t see two feet in front of him without glasses and isn’t a candidate for LASIK. As a parent, I think I have the right to do whatever I can to prevent my child from going down a path that isn’t right for him or her, as long as it is legal. I actually interviewed to join JAG when I got out of law school. I went far enough along in the process to know that it was not for me, but the process left me with a respect for the military. I am sorry that didn’t come through in my post.
Let me add that if there was a mandatory draft, my kids would show up for their required physicals and I would pray that they would be assigned somewhere safe if they passed. I wouldn’t allow them to dodge a draft. My D would probably be a conscientious objector.
Again, I hope that I didn’t upset anyone else, but this forum is supposed to be a place where we can discuss our feelings and share our opinions.
@hannuhylu Actually I don’t know what is wrong with wanting to “serve your country.” Plenty of people give of themselves in all sorts of careers. My dad enlisted after Kennedy’s speech of doing for your country. Then he spent he later years working tirelessly for veterans. It is not unimportant or wrong to look outside of your own personal gain. Maybe your daughter will not choose this path. Maybe she won’t be fit for it. But being unselfish is not a negative.
And thank you to everyone who has served. @zarsmom @4MyKidz @NEPatsGirl son and others here.
@techmom99 Your comments of "I then set about to try to figure out how to make and my other 4 children unsuitable for military service. " and then calling the Air Force, “the chair force”… I just don’t know what more to say other than, irregardless of your feelings, the military will continue to protect your freedoms.
It is but then you have to hear others expressing their opinions and their reactions to what your opinions. It is not a safe space that denies the opportunity for rebuttal.
I have a friend who served in the Army before going to college and he credits the travel, discipline, etc. to success in college and beyond. My kids are incredibly resilient just from moving around with the military.