When your son or daughter falls in love with their safety school

The best choice is the school your kiddo chooses. This is their journey.

My NMF daughter fell in love with her safety as she was competing for a full ride scholarship there–and never looked back. She decided early on that it was the right fit for her in almost every way, regardless of whether she wound up receiving the scholarship. When other great acceptances came in from some elite schools, they just didn’t matter anymore. I have no doubt she’ll thrive there–receive a great undergraduate education with lots of money now available for grad school–and be happy there too. I concur 100 percent with what @greenbutton said earlier.

Also, something a tenured professor wrote on this site really resonated with me–and I think it applies to so-called “safeties.” He or she wrote the following:
“Here’s a bit of perspective that you probably won’t hear from the schools, or your teachers and counselors, or even many others on this site: Great faculty and courses and all the rest can be found everywhere. Just as the number of great students has expanded, so has the number of great faculty populating our universities. So today EVERY decent college offers AMAZING opportunities.”

@TTdd16 -38 years ago I, too, fell in love with my “safety” as I was applying for a full-ride scholarship there. So much so that I didn’t even apply anywhere else. I didn’t get the scholarship, went anyway, changed my major about 4 times, graduated with a double major, great job and research experience (as well as “real-life” experiences from living on my own and juggling school, work, and a relationship) and no debt (thanks mom and dad, it was a different world then). Would be funny if it was the same school as your DD’s!

Congratulations, OP! I think that’s terrific! My middle son loved one of his (many) safety school, UAH. It was a much better fit than the “prestigious” schools on his list.

I love to read about students who really consider fit and practicality over prestige. In my business, that is music to my ears!

I never heard of St. Anselm’s until I visited as part of an 11-campus counselor tour several years ago. They blew me away with a combination of friendliness, academic dedication, and access. I totally get falling in love with it.

St. Anselm’s is a good school to look at for any students interested in political science.

https://www.anselm.edu/new-hampshire-institute-politics

^^And nursing!

When my son finally narrowed his choices down to the last two schools, his “safety” school was a finalist. He ended up deciding to go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo instead of his safety, Sacramento State, but it was close. He had already decided against applying to or attending St. John’s (NYC), Xavier, Willamette, UOP, UC Davis, UC Santa Cruz, and all of the other 20 CSU’s that he was recruited by or would have gained admission to.

There is nothing wrong with a safety school being a front runner. It’s not about the “prestige” if the school is a good fit. As a matter of fact, that was our advice: make sure you are good with attending your safety school in case it’s your only option.

How can you keep her from making this decision herself? If she attends another school at your behest and she dislikes it, do you want to live with that the rest of your life? Look at it this way, if St A’s was the only school which accepted her, would you discourage her from going? Of course not. You obviously approved all schools on the list so it’s kind of late in the game to withdraw your approval. And honestly, I don’t think there’s a big difference in prestige among the schools on the list. I’ve known graduates of all of them and none stuck out as supermen/women.

My kids did all their sorting before applying so never ranked schools as safeties or favorites, or higher ranked, or more prestigious. It works.

I’m actually more familiar with St A’s and Stonehill as they are D2 athletically and my D plays them. Seem like nice schools.

It’s marketing to some extent. I think we should rename the safety schools (which are affordable) Freedom schools because you’ll be free from debt, free to travel and free to make choices in your life. The reach schools in which you’d incur large debt, we should call Indentured Servitude schools. Remember reading about early American history as a kid and how that having to choice that path sucked. It will be the same with choosing these high priced, indentured servitude schools. And then you perpetuate a cycle of indentured servitude because you and your children feel they have to aim for the same target. If you can afford the cost to ride then hop on the prestige train, otherwise the Freedom Train is calling.

All my daughter applied to were “safeties”, she only applied to two. She knew where she wanted to go in freshman year. We asked her to apply to one instate school as well. The whole process was over for us by the end of September! I hate when people discount schools because they think it’s a “safety”, if it has a good program for your major, it’s a good school. Cornell is the number 1 school for my daughter’s major, but she saw where it was, and had no wish to live in the middle of nowhere. We were so relieved, we didn’t want her under that kind of pressure!

Congratulations to your daughter!

^^^Our D decided early on her “safety” (Ohio University) was her first choice. In her mind it wasn’t a safety. It just fit the best. It was strong in what interested her, strong in her career choice, it provided the atmosphere she wanted and she felt it was a place she would succeed. It was an instate school where she would be in the top 5% of the admitted class and it had an 80% acceptance rate. She received her acceptance in October and asked if she had to apply anywhere else. I made her apply to 3 others, all better ranked, she was accepted everywhere and accepted into all of their honors colleges, and one was even a bit cheaper after financial aid. She wanted to attend Ohio University. She is just about to finish her sophomore year and still loves it, is doing wonderfully, and has had many opportunities. It certainly meant she wasn’t very stressed during college search and acceptance time.

@Ivvcsf, we (Parents) fell hard for Ohio U. It went from having to drag my son to look at it to his #2 school. And it was a close #2. I’m still in mourning he chose another school, but happy to say it is now on my D’s (HS class 2019) list.

State flagship universities can be a great alternative to the more prestigious private colleges. Often, they attract better professors and provide research opportunities. The taxpayer funding can make them a bargain, although still not cheap. For many, they are the perfect “safety”, although due to rising and out of control costs of private colleges, these flagships are not quite as “safe” as they used to be.

It is all about the “fit” of a school and student. A happy student is a successful one! The college process is a funny thing. We are hearing about kids who turned down money at a target/safe schools for ones that were a bit of a reach. After less than a year, they are transferring into…yup their target/safe school now with no money.

It is about the fit and where they like. I try to keep my opinions to myself until I hear theirs (I am not always successful).

@sunset88 - I guess it could be argued that the kids who started off at their reach schools at least had the opportunity to experience those schools even if some of them do wind up transferring back to one of their safeties w/no money offered this time around.

It’s a risk to choose a reach school but it can also be a different kind of risk to go to a safety. Of course, if your kid gets money AND falls in love with their “safety” that would be the best of both worlds.

Congrats to your family, OP. By the way, I also dislike the term “safety” school. I mean, I get it – but it underplays the fact that ALL the schools on a sutdet’s list should be there because he/she honestly would love to attend. Some of the best advice I got on CC was to start a list from the bottom up. It is easy to identify the reach schools…but much harder to find safeties. Merit scholarships make this more complicated. So glad for your daughter that she has found a good fit.

You are describing my situation with my eldest daughter. She got into the school that she thought was her first choice, reach. She was elated and posted it on facebook and bought a sweatshirt. However, she received a serious financial scholarship from her safety. Moreover, her AO had gone to great trouble to arrange a special day for her to meet a professor, tour the facilities and sit in on a class. I told her that the choice was hers, but that she had to give the school serious consideration. So she went for the visit and by the end she called me to tell me she had changed her mind and that she loved the safety.

Honestly, I was a little concerned. If the school was as good as it seemed, and if it offered so much, why wasn’t it ranked higher? So we did a little more digging. Found out where alums were employed and talked to professionals in her field to see how they would view the degree. It all checked out. She has been there for two years now and its been wonderful. Everything we hoped for and more.

@flmom26 You are right…there are several ways to look at the scenario. At the end of the day, we found when you find that fit…reach, safety, target (@momcinco I agree with not liking certain labels) it is a great thing!! I always love hearing when the kids find theirs. That is what the darn process is all about! Good luck to everyone.