Where should I go with this essay?

<p>It's pretty much about my love of Japan and Japanese (intended major) and my exchange to Japan this summer. I've sort of hit a dead end, and I think I'd like to talk about my exchange more near the end. Any suggestions?</p>

<p>“Nikku! Okite kudasai!”</p>

<p>This phrase swims in my head for a few moments before my unalert brain begins to decipher it. I open my eyes slightly and take a glance around the room. I can see symbols that seem unfamiliar at first glance, and then after a short period they gradually attach themselves to their given meaning. The three words that are still ricocheting in my mind finally become clear, and I quickly jump out of bed. I open the shades covering the window and look out to the busy cityscape of Niigata, Japan.</p>

<p>“Tabeni dekakeru yo! Iku?”</p>

<p>In my eighth year of school I selected Japanese as my foreign language for the following grade without knowing exactly what I was getting myself into. I thought it would be an interesting subject because it sounded so different, but I really had no clue about the Japanese language or culture. Like many others, I had a very naïve view of the Eastern world, meshing all Asian cultures together into one. However, once I began learning about Japan and its unique qualities, my interest on the subject grew immensely.</p>

<p>I have been studying Japanese for the past four years, in and out of the classroom, although it has never quite felt like work to me.</p>

<p>its a solid essay</p>

<p>heres where the race thing plays in</p>

<p>if you were white, black, or hispanic, this would stand out alot, and you would be truly unique. </p>

<p>if you are asian, it might blend in a little.</p>

<p>i like it though....^but thats nothing you can change^</p>

<p>I'm white.</p>

<p>awesome...that will really stand out</p>

<p>Nice! But what else should I write about in my essay? Its only about half completed.</p>

<p>do you have the stellar Japanese with Listening SAT2's to match</p>

<p>no offense to asians: but i imagine a white, black or hispanic kids with high chinese or japanese sat2's would be much more impressive than one of you scoring an 800. I think this is because they (sometimes wrongfully) assume that you have been speaking it all your life.</p>

<p>"like many others"...too vague. also, give the reader an inkling of what the japanese phrases mean, and maybe describe your relations with other japanese people and how maybe your race fits into all of this</p>

<p>I thought maybe the first one was obvious, it means "(Nick), wake up." The second one doesnt matter as much, its more for transition.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, I only got a 550 on the SAT2. The reading killed me.</p>

<p>Where you go with the essay depends on where you want to go. What is your theme? Your "love of Japan and Japanese" isn't a theme, it's a fact. You need to find a theme in there, preferably something that will help the reader get to know you--not Japan--better. So far what you have written doesn't do that. Your transcript will show that you have taken Japanese, and most white American teenagers are naive about Asian cultures unless they have experienced or studied them. So you've used a lot of words without having really told us anything we couldn't have gleaned from looking at your application. </p>

<p>You don't want your theme to be "I love Japan/Japanese because..." You want to help the reader get to know you. Was there an "Aha!" moment in your travels or studies? Is there a story you can tell that can serve as a metaphor for a larger concept? How has your knowledge of the language and culture changed your thinking or view of the world?</p>

<p>First decide what you want the point to be, then write.</p>

<p>dude Japan is so awesome!</p>

<p>You're SO lucky... if my school had Japanese, I would have taken it in a flash. Are you gonna live there? Good luck!</p>

<p>I have a completed draft, and would like to show it to a reputable poster to review. Just post with your email and I will send it. Thank you!</p>

<p>Ugh. Do not take Japanese. Ever. Worst decision of your life. Worst language system ever devised. It's more complicated than Chinese, and that's saying something. Blarg.</p>

<p>PS: I am in intermediate Japanese. Do not repeat my mistake.</p>

<p>anono...</p>

<p>I am a "Westerner" who has been studying Chinese (Mandarin) as my foreign language.</p>

<p>When I wrote my essay, I didn't utter one word of Mandarin in it and I applaud your idea to apply some of your Japanese.</p>

<p>What I tried to impart through my essay was to "show" the evolution of my interest in Mandarin, China and indeed, E.A. studies, and I tried to convey what my experiences in China impressed upon me.</p>

<p>In other words, my suggestion is for you to take your essay to the "showing" level. Do you know what I mean?</p>

<p>You need to explore how your knowledge of Japanese language and culture has changed you. How do you see the world (in some few detailed areas) differently? What insights about values, priorities, choices, behaviors have you acquired? What opinions do you have now that you would not have had before?</p>

<p>Rather than tell you, perhaps I can show you through a more concrete suggestion as an example.</p>

<p>Let's take your sentence: "However, once I began learning about Japan and its unique qualities, my interest on the subject grew immensely."</p>

<p>Instead of saying "once I began learning about Japan and its unique qualities..." perhaps you could illustrate through an experience instead. Perhaps you saw a noh play, or experienced a tea or flower arranging ceremony, read Tale of Genji, or visited a shinto shrine, etc. during your exchange program? Instead of saying "Japan has unique qualities" try to illustrate a couple of those qualities by conveying your experiences and your reactions to those experiences. Hope this makes more sense. Wishing you the best of luck in your pursuits!</p>

<p>Hey thanks a lot for your help. I have a rough draft, do you think you could read it for me?</p>

<p>^Gomenasai (sp?) Anono :-)
Sorry to be so late responding. I was waiting for ED decision from Columbia this evening. Yes, I was lucky enough to be accepted to CC. </p>

<p>Please feel free to send me your draft and I will do my best to give you some input. We both have been so fortunate to have had such special experiences which have helped shape our respective interests in the languages and cultures of East Asia -- you, Japan, me, China (although I do plan to study Japanese as well, and I'm really interested in Tibetan studies, too). I hope you can give me a day or two to respond to the draft. However, if you need a quick glance and response, I'm probably not the best person for that.</p>

<p>Are you limiting yourself to West Coast schools? USC's East Asian offerings seem pretty good -- they kept sending me tons of stuff. However, Columbia's East Asian Languages and Cultures Dept. is outstanding and you might want to explore it if you haven't already (now that I am completely biased as one a "Columbia 2010" LOL).</p>

<p>Okay I sent you an email :-) you can email me at <a href="mailto:anonomousn@hotmail.com">anonomousn@hotmail.com</a></p>

<p>If anybody else could give it a read that would be amazing. :-)</p>

<p>essay wa totemo ee desu, anonymous san!</p>

<p>anata wa totemo college ni itekudasi.</p>

<p>eto, watashino nihongo wa totemo warui desu ne.</p>