If someone does not want to explain their extenuating circumstances in their essay where do you think it would fit best? I thought the counselor might be the best choice but this is a school of over 3,500 kids and the counselor does not know the student other than on paper. Would the the Additional Information section be best?
This is a girl who moved to the US in middle school, father moved back home and they have no contact, mother has mental health problems and the student has to handle things like chores for her mother, first generation. The transcript is not great but there has been improvement, I am trying to help but not sure how to make sure schools know how much she has had to overcome to get where she is now.
She briefly summarizes in the additional information section. Anything written must not sound like an excuse. Frankly, this information is usually better coming from the guidance counselor. She should email him/her and ask them to include a little information about any trying circumstance.
But I donât know if she needs to write anything at all in that section. Colleges are not interested in what happened before high school. There are so many students, immigrants or otherwise, who have similar stories. So many other students with far more challenging circumstances who have managed to do well despite struggles. There are literally thousands and thousands of kids who have to do chores and take on a lot of responsibility at a very young age. There are kids who work full time jobs to support a large family, and they still get straight Aâs.
I think itâs good that the student isnât using the essay to explain things, because she probably feels she wants to be admitted for who she is rather than her circumstances.
This sounds harsh, I know. The point Iâm trying to make is that unless itâs something really out there in terms of hardship and deprivation, it may not be worth including. Itâs up to the student. Admissions officers donât admit people because they feel sorry for them. Bluntly, they admit kids who they feel will succeed at the college and pay tuition for four years.
The number of âextenuating circumstancesâ will greatly increase. Many will (wrongly) think that their pandemic challenges set them apart from others.
Thanks, I donât think the pandemic was any worse for her than others, mother couldnât work but that was it as far as I know.
@Lindagaf I get what you are saying for sure. There is a little more to the story, mother being hospitalized for days at a time throughout the year for example, but I know others have it the same or worse. I just want to help her figure out how to get into a college even if it is not her dream school. She knows the CC option is there but is doing her best to get to a 4 year school if she can find one that she can afford.
This is a tough one. If the mother is frequently hospitalized, is there anyone else who helps? Will colleges be concerned that the student will be unable to attend regularly due to the mother? Missing more than a couple of classes in college isnât an option.
@Lindagaf I guess I should not say frequently, but is has happened more than once. I donât know who helps with the mom, I think a neighbor. You are right though, maybe she shouldnât explain too much.
I worked on her Common App with her last night and realized that just through the general questions they will see when she moved to the US and that she is first generation so maybe she doesnât need to add much more. I think I will encourage her to set up a meeting with her dean (GC) and hopefully he can help with this hard part while I stick to the easier stuff!
I did alumni interviews for my alma mater. I had a student that didnât appear to have many ECs at all, much less leadership. But we were talking about thatâŠand it turned out that he watched his little brother after school, so he couldnât do traditional after school activities. It turns out his parents were getting divorced and he started to notice his brother falling through the cracks. So he started making sure he did his homework, and also signed him up for a baseball league. He took him to practices and games.
So not only did he babysit his brother, he showed leadership in making sure his brother had opportunities and support.
So this student could also talk about what she does at home as an âECââŠthat she is showing leadership by taking on chores, etc.
Thanks everyone! I was helping her with her activity section last night but we did not have time to finish, I will definitely have her add that next time she comes for help.
Lindagaf is right about the impact of âcircumstances.â A lot of a fuller answer depends on where sheâs applying. Some colleges will be a lot more forgiving than others. What you want to aim for is how she âtriumphed despite.â Not just that this challenge or that existed. ANd remembering, âShow, not just tell.â
And yes, if an applicant overemphasizes home resps, it can look like they wonât leave the home area, theyâre that needed. Itâs a fine line to walk.
Iâm tempted to refer to âhome respsâ in Activities, then briefly explain in Addl Info that covid, the motherâs illness, etc, caused her to step up her responsibilities. Adcoms will respect the need to be supportive at home, but itâs not a tip. Try hard to find how she âtriumphed despite.â Any engagement, comm service, that can show this?
A teacher LoR can also explain the background- then praise her efforts.
College counselors are overworked and canât possibly know all the kids well, definitely. But because their jobs are so difficult, they often very much appreciate when someone makes their job easier by summarizing what they need to know and, in effect, writing a portion of their recommendation letter for them.
In your situation, I would compose my very best draft that channels what I would hope the counselor recommendation might look like (which is to say, produce text that the counselor could utilize verbatim if they so chose, but in a way that is you speaking and isnât in any way mandating that they use your words - it doesnât matter whether they do or donât, just that thereâs a low-effort path on the table if thatâs as much effort as theyâre willing to make), and ask the studentâs permission to provide this information to the counselor. Perhaps also get a teacher, coach, etc. to back you up and encourage the counselor to vouch for the challenges the student has overcome. (And if that person is writing a LoR, this will hopefully remind them to touch on these issues themselves as well.)
Overcoming obstacles and character are both listed by colleges and factors for admission.
There are two ways to address this:
get the info to the guidance counselorâŠI donât know if you can write them, or even meet with them with permission of the studentâŠtherapist might also be able to do it
a brief and matter of fact statement, not really an essay, in the supplementary essay that asks if there is anything else the colleges donât know about you that was not covered in the rest of the application
The latter choice is tricky because it is hard to write about oneâs hardships and it also comes off differently when someone else writes or talks about it, so I would go with #1
@aquapt makes good points, that teachers can also put some of this in a letter of recommendation but they also would have to have the background info.
Also @aquaptâs point about writing it so that it can almost be used verbatim is smart: the easier you can make it for a busy GC the better
D19âs high school also had a large amount of students for a few counselors, but we were asked to submit a âcheat sheetâ for the counselors, and something like this would have gone on there for the counselor to note. Can you maybe find out if her school does something like this too?
Thank you all - these are great suggestions. I am going to ask her how much she is comfortable sharing with the dean and then we can go from there. Hopefully I can talk to her soon because she doesnât have much time before some of the application deadlines!
I would argue that an adeptly worded essay could describe her situation, or at least hint at it. For example, when discussing people she admires, she could talk about âSarah, my neighbor who consistently helped out in my house during my motherâs frequent hospitalizations for mental illness,â etc. Her circumstances donât have to be the point of her essay, but the essay can mention them peripherally.
@Massmomm That is a good point! She did say her essay was going to try to tie back to her mom a bit but she didnât say how much or how. Itâs a hard balance knowing how much to ask her. I probably wonât see her until tomorrow because my daughter works tonight, helpfully I can help her out.
Does she have standardized test scores? I know it is hard because of COVID, but if her transcript is less than perfect then a few good subject matter test or AP scores can help to convince a college she is now where she needs to be to succeed un college. Also beware of making it sound as if if mom has issues in the future she will drop out to care for her.
I wanted to update you all about my Dâs friend. We read all of your advice and in the end she spoke about her mother a little bit in her essay but just enough to give an idea of her situation. She did have her AP English teacher read it and they worked on revising it so that made me feel better because I am not a great writer! She sent the original copy to a few schools but was able to send the better revised copy to her dream ED school.
After going over her Common App again we realized everything else she wanted to convey - first gen, immigrant, etc. were all covered in the basic questions so no need to add anything else.
Now for the best part - she has two acceptances!! Both in state directionals that we were pretty sure were matches but with a D one semester and a few Câs I just had no clue what to expect. Also we are in FL so she had to submit her SAT score which is not terrible but not as high as she would like for most schools. We are just so happy for her even though they are not her top choices. Just a few weeks ago she was on my patio saying she thought she would never get in to college at all, and now not only did she get in but she gets to make a choice! Hopefully there will be more good news to come.