<p>Massmomof1, I’m not certain I grasp your personal goals for school discipline.</p>
<p>Let’s see. All the boarding schools our children applied to (10 in all) have honor codes. All the schools give students much more freedom and responsibility than those students would have at home. Sometimes reading the handbooks is deceptive, unless one reads them carefully. For example, a school may write, “a student needs permission to leave campus.” “Campus” may have an extensive definition–it may encompass an area as large as five miles from the “actual” campus. </p>
<p>They all had firm rules about expected student behavior. They all had demanding schedules. The day’s structure is predetermined.</p>
<p>Most schools grant students more privileges as they mature. In general, freshmen will have the most restrictive limits set on their day. They will have earlier check-ins, they must attend breakfast, they have more supervision in the dorms from teachers and older students. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I would say that all the schools I’ve visited do assume that kids are able to make the right decision. On the other hand, they all know that kids can and will make mistakes. Some schools have fewer rules. All schools, however, have disciplinary procedures which they will use if students violate the honor code. So, even though a school may have fewer explicit restrictions on day-to-day limits, the school will still set consequences for violations. </p>
<p>For example, you’ll notice students will often drop backpacks in piles. They are relying upon the general lack of theft at school. If a student is caught stealing, though, they’re kicked out. A student can be kicked out for lying–because it violates the school’s honor code. It is much worse to lie about a misdeed than to admit it. The lie will get you in much deeper trouble.</p>
<p>DAndrew – are you equating pressure cooker schools with ones that assume students are responsible enough to make the right decision?? Is it possible to find a school that is both academically challenging, allows independence, and provides support?</p>
<p>Classicalmama - thanks - that gives me a sense of specific things to look at when we go to revisit.</p>
<p>Periwinkle – An Honor code of some type is not a problem, demerits for skipping breakfast is! I think there is a major difference between a school that says – we leave many rules unstated because we take for granted the honesty and good judgment of our students and one that says we have lots and lots of rules - but you will learn them fairly quickly! </p>
<p>However, I am not sure the handbooks are the only or best indicators of how this actually plays out on a day to day basis. Is life at the first example I gave really different from that at the second example? Are the kids that go to the second example ones that need that degree of structure in order to make it through? Are kids at the first one consistently making good decisions?</p>
<p>Many of the rules have reasons. Some students develop anorexia at boarding schools, or arrive with eating disorders. A student who skips breakfast may be sleeping in–or it may be a first warning sign of a problem which will derail an otherwise promising BS career. Taking for granted “the honesty and good judgment of our students” has a downside–the decision as to whether or not a student has violated the honor code or behaved foolishly is left to the judgement of the adults and/or the disciplinary committee. The set-up of each school’s disciplinary committee can make a difference. </p>
<p>There are also rules which will be universal. An open flame in a dorm will get a student kicked out.</p>
<p>I would guess that you should put Concord Academy and St. Paul’s School on your list of schools to visit. Do ask at each how they enforce their Honor Codes.</p>
Absolutely! The debatable issue is how much indepdence is too much independence, how much support is too little support… You will find a whole range of opinions here. I was just trying to point out that the ones that have a reputation of asking for a lot of independence and maturity from students are usually the ones most academically challenging (some call them “pressure cookers”). There is a support system built in EVERY school of course, but you need to figure out if that is enough support for your kid, which boils down to “fit” again.</p>
<p>Perhaps it seems shallow, but I would say that given your question, the easiest way to arrive at the answer you are looking for would be dress code. If a school feels strongly that there is a particular kind of uniform that determines a “presentable” student each day, that tells you something about the general administrative approach toward students. Other schools have virtually no dress codes and assume that teens will have the good sense to figure out seasonally appropriate attire. At schools with a semiformal dress code, you tend to get a higher degree of “brand consciousness” AND the whole “how much can I get away with without crossing the line” game going on. At schools with no dress code, we saw kids rolling in to late morning classes in their pajamas. Where’s your comfort level along that spectrum???</p>
Can you please suggest for an international girl student, with a passion for dance, which one will be better at std XI level : NMH or Concord Academy? </p>
<p>2.Academically which one has a better record in terms of college acceptance in US,</p>
<p>3.And , which one would provide a better interaction with the dorm parent/supervisor … although we are not helicopter parents :)</p>
<p>Are you able to visit the schools? They’re very different. Concord Academy’s campus is in the middle of a quaint, wealthy New England town. Students can walk to the train station from campus. It’s easy to visit Boston or Cambridge on weekends.</p>
<p>Northfield Mount Hermon is a self-contained, rural campus. </p>
<p>If you enter each school’s name into Google maps, you’ll appreciate the difference.</p>
<p>Look up La Rosey for an example of what you may be asking. I was perusing the site and it has some standards such as you can not leave the dinner table without permission, you rise when an adult enters the room, etc. Seemed on the outer edge of what you are asking about - compared to NE boarding schools it seems to illustrate the concept of frequent adult supervision and lots of rules governing behavior. But I don’t have a child there, so I may be wrong.</p>
<p>Periwinkle’s mention of rural vs town setting raises an issue about whether there is a propensity for students to “party” and drink more in one setting vs. the other. Do you parents have any insight about this?</p>
<p>NMH is a large school, with splendid on-campus resources, but it is in a very rural location. Concord is small, with a high day-to-boarder student ratio. They don’t have the on-campus resources that NMH has, but it is an easy commute into Boston, where an enthusiastic dancer might be able to arrange weekend excursions for classes.</p>
<p>I don’t know about urban vs. rural, but I sense that there would be a difference between schools with a large day student population and those without. If a big proportion of the kids are going home at the end of the day and on weekends it seems like there’s more of a partying opportunity because the way the kids spend time is at the discretion (or lack thereof) of parents. In the dorms there’s a more consistent set of rules. Which is not to say that there’s no partying, just a different environment for it.</p>
<p>maharaja63 - Please start a new thread with your questions about NMH and Concord. Thanks!</p>
<p>Go back to the Parents’ main page (where all the threads are listed), go to the top of the page, and click on “New Thread.” Start a new thread (sample title: “NMH vs. Concord?”). Then post your questions about the two schools there.</p>
<p>GMTplus7, I don’t think parents can answer this question. Unless one has ten children, all attending different schools, who all share everything with a parent, it’s really hard to tell. I think it also depends upon the student body, and the expectations and habits they bring to campus. </p>
<p>NMH and CA are great schools, but they’re very different. The same child might do well at either campus, but it would be best if the family were to revisit campus.</p>
<p>The issue Friendlymom raises re the percentage of day students, reminded me of a comment made by the interviewer (an alum) for one of the schools to which DS applied. In front of me, the interviewer told son to make friends w the day students because they’re the ones w the cars… wink… wink…</p>
<p>I immediately mentally crossed that school off the list.</p>
<p>^^While I understand your concern, I think it’s a mistake to cut a school for such a reason. Riding in cars with classmates in high school is a pretty common phenomenon…to the movies, ice cream, pizza. Your response says as much about your presumptions as anything.</p>