<p>Are we the only ones who are feeling negative about a college after the summer orientation program? All my son's friends and parents loved theirs, but my son and I both came away feeling unhappy. My son is questioning whether this is the right school for him. He felt like he was treated like a 12 year old at summer camp, with lame icebreakers and activities. I felt that I didn't need to be instructed to tell my student about the college rules regarding cooking in the dorms, drinking, and drugs. There were a few interesting tidbits about supports for the students, but not much useful information. I am wondering if anybody else felt the same way. Why do the colleges do this in the summer and why do parents have to go?</p>
<p>At my daughter’s school parents did not have to go. They only had orientation for parents to ensure they didn’t show up at their child’s orientation.</p>
<p>What sort of useful information were you looking for? I went to my daughter’s orientation a couple of weeks ago and found a lot of it redundant. Most of the information could easily be found on the school website. That said, I thought the school did a great job with orientation. Being able to see and meet many of the administrators that my daughter will be dealing with was nice. Getting contact info for specific people that I might need to contact was very helpful also. I enjoyed meeting other parents and hearing about their kids, my daughter’s future classmates. Orientation was not mandatory for parents, just students, but there were plenty of parents there.</p>
<p>My daughter had a good time at her orientation. They broke the students out into small groups based on their individual colleges, so she was with people who would be in her classes. She said it was informative, but the best part was meeting the other kids and signing up for classes.</p>
<p>At our sons college, the parent orientation last month wasnt mandatory either, but we actually wanted to go. And while I understand that you may not have needed the instruction about various campus rules, not every parent or student is equally informed. You wouldnt believe the stupid things that kids do, and the schools need to be explicit in whats allowed or not and what the consequences are. I also think that the freshman icebreakers are by their very nature awkward and uncomfortable pretty much everywhere. You put together a bunch of teenagers from all over the country with various levels of maturity, different ideas of what a fun activity might be, feelings of nervousness or outright dread at spending time with a bunch of strangers its not exactly conducive to a good time, no matter how well-intentioned the peer leaders are.</p>
<p>So, basically, I dont think your experience is much different from other schools that have this sort of summer orientation. My daughters college, OTOH, did not have it at all; the freshmen simply moved in a couple of days before the upperclassmen, the parents left, and the kids were left to fend for themselves to participate in the fun activities with no hope of escape!</p>
<p>Either way, they all survive, and while the feeling of maybe this school isnt right for me may stay with them for a few weeks, most kids seem to find their niche by the holidays. Cheer up normal college will not be like orientation (thank God!)</p>
<p>At my daughter’s school the real ice breakers are in 5 days before school starts in the fall - serious partying, activities, treasure hunts, other events, and mingling :-). I attended some of the orientation with her and nothing to it - as expected, the usual blah blah, supply lists, advising with the Mother Hen of the department, the works. </p>
<p>Her school only does orientation for a few hundred kids at a time so it’s not like everyone shows up at the same time. Took a bit to get used to Southern weather again (even north Southern weather) but other than that, nothing to it.</p>
<p>Only downer is we got a sneak preview of the dorm - a bit of a ruin but in process of renovation.</p>
<p>We enjoyed ours very much, but there was one particular tidbit that I am still thinking about.
Wondering what your favorite thought provoking comments were…</p>
<ol>
<li> “Don’t call back.” The president of the parent advisory counsel made in my mind the most thought provoking comment of the weekend. Suppose your DD calls you, upset that XYZ happened. You throw out 10 different things she could do, all of which she ignores to greater or lesser degrees. You lay in bed thinking about it, and come up with #11, which to you seems like a great solution. Don’t call back. Meaning…the most important thing you can do is not to solve the problem, but rather to be aware of what resources are available to them, listen as they talk about the issue, and assume that they will take what you suggest that works and throw out the rest. If you bring it up again, they think you don’t trust them to handle the situation independently, and may have well already solved and forgotten the problem. If they don’t solve it, they will bring it up again. Don’t revisit it unless they initiate. This is counterintuitive to me, but the more I think about it, really makes a great deal of sense.</li>
</ol>
<p>I wouldn’t worry about whether your S chose the wrong school just based on the fact that he didn’t like orientation. Orientation can be tough for many students at all types of schools. It’s awkward to be with a bunch of students you don’t know and often teens aren’t used to talking to new people constantly, since many have had the same classmates since grade school; thus, schools try to combat this with various group activities and icebreakers which feel really forced.</p>
<p>I think orientations (esp in the fall) are getting longer and longer at many schools – maybe because tuition/fees are going up and universities are trying to show parents and students that it’s money well spent. Large universities that a few years ago only required frosh to move in 1-2 days before classes are now requiring them to be on campus 5-7 days early. Orientation used to be a bunch of academic and administrative meetings that were over in a few days and required little socialization. Now it’s more of a party/camp atmosphere to encourage socialization; one particular ivy recently set up a carnival with activities like a moon bounce. It’s hard for many students who would prefer to make friends more naturally through classes/clubs etc., rather than being forced to bond by participating in summer camp like activities that they’ll likely never do again.</p>
<p>I hate summer orientations, and think it’s much better just to have freshman orientation the week before regular classes begin with limited parent activities on the first day. I don’t think the idea of ice breakers and activities is bad, but I am not sure how effective they are. I know for my introverted older son it was mostly something to get through. I remember my orientation years ago being mostly placement tests.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear you say this, mathmom. My son opted out of summer orientation since the school is a 10-hour drive from home. Instead, he’ll do orientation a couple of days before classes start. Good to hear someone in favor of that option.</p>
<p>Our students summer orientation was all about meeting with academic advisor, scheduling first semester classes, and getting some general resident info. The introduction into the institute community was in the fall “first year experience” where us parents were absent from the process. He came thru thoroughly engaged to begin college life.</p>
<p>I found the parent orientation useful a few years ago, despite being an alumnus (btw- I refuse to try to be gender correct for this term). Yes, you can get most information online. However, this is the best chance for parents to see the campus. Likewise for students as well. The dorm move in was just that- drop off child and stuff, then depart. Seems similar to post #10. Saw model for his dorm- made it easier to plan stuff to take. Kids could rethink their schedule before fall. Easing into college life with time to think before the whirlwind of the first days there. Works best when students are from instate or close by for travel purposes, although a family vacation can be arranged that won’t interfere with school.</p>
<p>Orientations – whether the summer kind or the just-before-school-starts kind – are very different from the real college experience. I wouldn’t judge a school based on its orientation program.</p>
<p>As for why this is done in the summer – it’s easier to process the kids in smaller batches than to deal with everyone at once. In general, colleges that draw most of their student body from nearby areas prefer summer orientations for this reason. Colleges that draw their student bodies from the whole country tend to have their orientations right before school starts so that students don’t have to make two trips.</p>
<p>OP – my son hated his summer orientation. Hated the camp atmosphere, the rah-rah mentality of the kids who were there to guide them through, hated the cattle call counseling. And I hate to say it, but I think it really colored his first year experience. He had a difficult first year and looked seriously at transferring but is going back in the fall. We are all hoping for a year.</p>
<p>Just noticed this thread. S2 is a rising senior taking a summer sch. class at his univ. Just last weekend he commented on the summer orientation groups (big state u…lots of orientations sessions) on campus saying that it appeared to be like summer camp with orientation counselors carrying large colorful signs leading groups of pre-frosh and parents around while shouting cheerily about what a great time they were going to have. S2 said he didn’t recall his orientation there ('08) being quite so rah rah. Both my kids attended summer orientation on their own.</p>
<p>My daughter is a going to a very large state flagship. Our orientation was 2 full days cram packed with speakers and activities. Yes, some of the information was common sense but it was presented quickly and with humor. There were a few hokey, rah rah things but for the most part it was very helpful. </p>
<p>Frankly, there was so much going on that it was exhausting and everyone else that I spoke to felt the same way. My daughter was a bit overwhelmed. She’s a little leery about going to such a big school and the orientation probably didn’t help matters.</p>
<p>We have a good website but the school offers so many services that it would be impossible for a novice to plow through the website and hone in on the things that are really important for freshman.</p>
<p>OP and Lololu, I could have written your posts!</p>
<p>Although S did not seriously consider not going back this year (at least not that he has admitted to) I agree that the orientation and his feelings about it and the kids (seemed like everyone was like animals out of a cage for the first time and all about talking about how much liquor they can hold - tainted the start of his first year and made for a struggle especially the first semester. </p>
<p>He found his way though, found some buddies and while he will look back and remember that orientation well (and I will remember that phone call from him across campus late the first night when I was staying in the parents dorm where he was really doubting his choice), he muddled through the issues and found a place. </p>
<p>Spend the remaining weeks focussing on the good, listen thru his concerns and hope that he will get active and busy in something right from the start at school so that he has a go-to group of people.</p>
<p>We just came back from orientation and it was OK - a necessary couple of days jammed packed with administrative blah blah blah. My D stayed for the full two days but I left after the first morning. I really didn’t need a “letting go” session or another tour of the campus, so I spent some time checking out the city. We had done extensive research and visits prior to D making a final decision.</p>
<p>D did say that most kids were a bit nervous and everyone felt awkward. There was no air conditioning in the dorms and it was 90+ degrees. She did meet a few kids that she thinks could be potential friends. But in the end, she got her schedule done and thought it will be easier to meet like-minded kids in the fall naturally when everyone starts classes.</p>
<p>I think of orientation as being a necessary evil - you have to go to get the core information and for my D she was able to meet with her academic advisor and smooth out her fall schedule. I personally was bored out of my mind but I felt I needed to go to support D those first couple of hours of nervousness. Once she was settled in with her group, she was fine.</p>
<p>My S liked the summer orientation…worked through most of his schedule (finished it at home) and he’s excited about going in the fall. I went through the parent orientation which was also very good. I could have gleamed most of the information online and I blew off one of the campus tours, but it was good to take a few days away from work to focus on things that I needed to know and do.</p>
<p>Dd1 found the daytime meets “boring,” but did enjoy the social activities and the chance to meet new people in the evenings fun. She’s a bit of an introvert, so they must’ve done a good job. </p>
<p>I attended, but as an employee (i.e. I had to work the thing). Summer orientations are about “business” and getting: registered for classes, an ID, assessed for writing placement, a computer login and campus email account, etc. Student life does what it can to make the days somewhat entertaining, but bottom line, you’re there to handle the details. And yes, parents were in their own separate meetings, especially during the advising for fall and J term classes. </p>
<p>That being said, OP, you would not be the first person to walk away from a college after that summer orientation. It doesn’t happen often, but if you just know it’s the wrong place, best to go now.</p>