My midwest kid has done 1 OV’s this month at mid-D3 school at east coast LAC and coming up on a second OV at a out of state research institute. Coaches want visits to be done during weekdays so kid can go to class with team members, eat with the team, practice with the team, etc. Problem is kid is missing about 3 days of classroom work (2 days of OV plus a travel day whether air or driving) for each visit and our sport is in season now in the fall, so practices and games/matches are being missed, too. There are two other colleges my kid would like to visit, but can’t continue to miss all the classroom work in mostly AP classes. Our high school is counting these visits as “excused” absences, but trying to make up the past-due work and keep up with current assignments is crushing. Grateful for the opportunity for an OV of course, just wish we could fit it all in. Anyone else?
We are also tapped out paying airfare/transportation costs (like taking Lyft to/from the airport because coaches can’t get to the airport) but that’s a whole 'nother discussion. The next OV we are attending I am making the 10 hour drive myself and staying at an AirBNB. Hopefully kid can get missed homework done during the drive.
It’s tough, no doubt. There is no easy solution, though it does help to narrow the list to a handful of schools of serious interest to limit the travel and disruption. My D3 kid was doing homework in cars and hotel. I made late night drives so he could get back home in order to be in school, on time, the next day since his school required athletes to be in school the entire day of a competition in order to play. It is not for the faint of of heart, especially if there are not likely letters or NLI to assure you that it will all work out.
@doublebach are your OVs not paid for? Airfare, meals etc? My S was…
And while student athletes can take up to 5 most recommended only taking 3 max as, in my son’s sport, coaches tend to think the athlete isn’t serious and spreading themselves thin…
Having said that theOVs my son took were critical in the decision making process.
It’s a tough call…good luck!
We are in the same boat. D will miss 5 days of school over the next 4 weeks. Travel expenses are killing us too. We are also doing an 8 hour drive to cut back on cost. I don’t even want to sit down and calculate what these trips to colleges and elite camps have cost us the past 6 months.
S just got back from his first over this past weekend, another next weekend and last one in October. Our HS school is awful with the absences as far as them being excused - only one college visit allowed junior year and one senior year…unreal. I can’t even go there. But, the school S just attended had study time built into the schedule - mom, at least, was happy! Between the visits and getting his CA set, it’s just stressful in our house. At least the leaves will look nice next weekend, and it looks like I’m spending my 20th anniversary in a college town with some sort of fall festival happening while we’re there. Hopefully it’s an Octoberfest with lots of beer - I may need it - lol ;).
I know what you mean. Daughter has been getting invitations to come sleep over, go to classes, practice with the team, watch a game, but there is NO way that her coach would let her miss a practice and a game, nor would she want to!! I guess if there is a school that daughter already thinks she LOVES, than we could do that, but really don’t want to jeopardize current grades and standing with the coach for something she isn’t completely sure about.
And, sometimes we do forget how much the actual sport comes into play especially if it’s in season. I do have to say, I’m a high school coach, as well. I always ask my girls at the beginning of the season who is planning college visits, etc. and to give me a timeline so I can plan appropriately. Never had an issue in 13 years. As a mom and a coach in the sport, I get it - I really do. I get them our schedule early enough so that those planning on overnights, etc., have it and can plan around it - they have a good idea of where they can compromise. They run the weekend or day by me, and we work with it. I agree - they don’t want to miss a day -those are the kind of kids they are - and the coach in me doesn’t want them to miss either, but this is the next step and an important one for them. If I can help alleviate some of the stress they’re under between school and college by not being a hardass on them, and work with them, then that’s half the battle in my mind. They have enough going on - I really want the 2 hours with me a day to be a release, not another stressor or burden. This year I only have one girl planning on moving on in college. She’s made a verbal at the college and instead of talking about the school, is bummed that she’ll miss our community fundraiser for her official visit. Go figure :).
OV visits are tough for fall sports. The thing to do is to schedule them for weekends when your kid doesn’t have a game and the college team is playing at home. This of course is easier said than done. Or just travel out on a Saturday (after games) and come back Sunday. One way or the other, your kid will still be exhausted. There is so much pressure on our kids to keep grades up during the fall term, together with practices and games, it is a lot. I think I would decline to stay over during the week – that is just too much to ask.
@tonymom, you are correct that the NCAA allows D3 schools to pay for travel, but there may be different league rules or school policies. For example, the NESCAC allows the school to pay for travel from transportation hubs to the school, but not beyond that. If you are flying to Hartford to visit Trinity, you will be on your own for airfare, but a coach may pick your kid up from the airport or pay for the cab fare.
@kjs1992 That is awesome that you are supportive with the girls. Last year we had a girl commit to D1 and the coach was giving the athlete a really hard time about leaving a PRACTICE early on a Friday to catch her flight…and the girl was already going to be missing the college team dinner because the coach wanted her to come to part of the practice. If my dd has a D1 banging on the door, we are opening the door!
@tonymom I don’t think for a D3 school paid OV is customarily provided by the coaches, so unfortunately all expenses are on the athlete. In my son’s sport (niche sport), most of the visits were done as an unofficial visit during the spring semester of his junior year, usually just to meet the coach, tour the campus and “hang out” with the team members, then come home (all in one day). By mid summer after the preread is done, verbal commitment to one school is made. Visits obviously would have to be very selective on your part, since you’re right, the expense and missed school days will become a tremendous burden. But most athletes will have their top 2 or 3 schools they will be very interested in attending, and wouldn’t waste their time and money going to every school on their list. The visit will also be very important from the coaches perspective, since meeting with the athlete will give them an impression of how well he/she will fit in with the team. They also always ask their athletes after the recruits spends some time with the team members for their input as a potential teammate and how they think the recruit will fit in. This will either solidify or break their commitment in recruiting your child.
Feeling the OP’s pain with regard to OVs. Kid has two this month, one which requires a flight (and an extra day for travel) and between the OVs, schoolwork, getting the college app together, prepping for a final round of SATIIs, and training/competing in her sport…it makes for pretty hectic first few weeks of senior year. But I think OVs are important…a final sort of gut check on fit (both ways). Acquaintances a year ahead of her in the process who could have committed to schools before OVs were happy that they did their DD before committing.
We are in season and the HS coach asked that my kid not practice with the college team on his OV for fear of getting injured and jeopardizing the team’s season. He is coming back from an injury, playing but still going to PT. We are torn on what to do.
For what it’s worth, we didn’t try to squeeze in the overnight on a teammates’ floor if we didn’t have to, and instead would leave after full day on campus which typically involved class with teammate, admissions interview, meal(s) with team, coach meeting, practice/match. We’d try to travel the day/evening before, he’d spend the full day on campus, and then we’d head out at night. The times my D3 kid did do overnight on campus, it didn’t contribute a lot to his perception of school or program, and just added to stress of missing more school. Your mileage may vary . . . .
I think there has been a lot of good advice.With my kids we did limit to 3 OVs due to the amount of school,sport etc that is very difficult to make up.I stressed the importance of taking many unofficial visits to schools during Soph and Jun year to eliminate choices as much as to figure out which ones they really liked. My kids did get much from the over night. The team closeness and campus vibe was definitely more evident the more time spent away from coach/school organized events.Like everything else, you do what is best for your athlete.
Best of luck to all of the recruits.
@fleishmo6 On overnights, my kid was a bit of a homebody so at the end of a long day of mutual evaluation between him and the program, he just wanted to be done and not have to deal with sleeping on a prospective teammate’s floor. Other kids might be really excited to “try out” dorm life.
OTOH, my daughter did an overnight at a Div3 school last spring (allowed for juniors under newish D3 rules) and I think it was valuable for her to see what life was really like for a student. She is a boarding school student, so it wasn’t about trying out dorm life…more about what dorm life/team life is like at that particular school.
@rofikicafe I totally agree. One thing I do think that some (not all, but some) HS and club/travel coaches can do a better job of is realize that there’s more to the kid than just being the athlete. I’ve had to navigate this with my S’s club team and the mom in me has said, “This college visit trumps practice”. It won’t kill him. 20? Maybe - haha. However, I don’t expect to hear last minute about a visit - they need to be proactive and timely. I’ve never had an issue because the communication is constantly there between me, my asst. and the kids. Really - as a coach if you don’t know which ones have potential for OV’s by Junior year and you’re not talking to them about possible next steps, I feel that’s part of the problem. Again, communication is key. This is a huge milestone for these kids, and a difficult one to navigate for even the most seasoned family. My own S is only 16 yr. old senior making this decision…the first real decision that has potential to impact the rest of his life - scary? You bet. If one of my girls has to miss a practice for an OV, no problem. A game/meet? We’ll work through it - they know which ones are the super important ones that I can’t live without them for, and we’ll come up with a plan. If they were sick, I’d have to do the same thing. Life happens. Sport is only one part of who they are and, frankly, there are some things like visits that are a family decision and the coach should just let that be, and respect the family. We have a saying on my team that I borrowed from my best coaching mentor: Family, School, Sport. In that order. We live by it, and we’ve been pretty successful. Just my 2 cents being on both sides as mom and coach :).