Who Should Pay for Computer/Books - Parent or Student?

Parent Cafe
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<p>My son is going to Landmark College next year, which is for kids with ADHD and Learning Disabilities. It is an accredited 2-year college, but we’re hoping he can transfer to a 4-year college after going there for a year, because the cost is high and the curriculum is narrow.</p>

<p>In any case, every school has the nebulous books, computer and incidental expenses category built into their total costs.</p>

<p>I’m wondering how much of this is covered by parents traditionally these days, if there is such a thing as traditionally.</p>

<p>When I went to college (1977-1981), I generally paid for my books, train or bus fare to school (6 hours away) and personal expenses out of whatever summer job I could come up with, which usually paid minimum wage. I would usually earn $750 to $1000 in a summer.</p>

<p>The school estimates that books will cost $800, and I’d like him to get a computer that will last him at least three years.</p>

<p>Funding college won’t be easy for us, like most of you. He’ll probably need at least five years to finish, considering his learning challenges. He also should avoid working during the school year, at least at first, because it takes him longer to complete school assignments.</p>

<p>By the same token, I did get into a fight with him and forced him to find a summer job, because he wasn’t eager about having to work all summer. Theoretically ADHD people do need more time to let their brains rest unless they learn other management strategies, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with playing all summer. </p>

<p>He'll probably earn about $2000 on a summer job plus some odd jobs, and his 4-week summer job runs out on August 3 (school starts August 30). He had about $1000 to $1500 in his personal bank account before the summer began.</p>

<p>What do most of you parents do these days about these types of expenses? What do you cover, and what do you not cover?</p>

<p>In particular:</p>

<p>1) Do parents pay for a computer?</p>

<p>2) Do you help with books?</p>

<p>3) How much should a kid have for personal expenses? (We’re excluding travel costs, which will be minimal). I want him to have a little money, and at the same time have it be on the scant side because he could have earned more this summer had he been more aggressive at looking for a summer job. Landmark College is located in tiny Putney, Vermont, so costs will not be NYC level.</p>

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<p>My parents contributed I believe $400 to a computer and I pay for all of my textbooks and personal expenses. That said I have been able to get wonderful summer and school year jobs.</p>

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<p>I’ve bought all my books, computers, etc. I have friends whose parents pay for everything, and everything in between. I don’t really think there’s a typical. Depends on student, parents, situation, etc.</p>

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<p>I would pay for the computer and books because if you don’t, he might try to get away with using the school’s computers and not buying some of the textbooks for his courses, and this would be detrimental to his academic work. College students really need their own computers, and although some students find ways to manage without owning some of the textbooks, it’s a challenge to succeed in courses without them.</p>

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<p>Hi Boondocks,</p>

<p>I will “see” you at Landmark move-in day Aug 30! </p>

<p>My daughter is paying for her own books, but is also getting reimbursed by Voc Rehab. She will have to do the paperwork and follow through to get the money back. Not so easy for ADHD/LD kids but valuable experience. I checked her probable classes and books and it looks like first semester will be under $175 for her.</p>

<p>D has been talking to some of the returning students on the facebook group. Some use the school-bought laptop and some use their own. She desperately needed a laptop this winter so she will be using that. It exceeds the schools requirements and was less expensive. I think they also require some specific software that cost a few hundred dollars. I agreed to cover that for D since it’s a one-time expense.</p>

<p>As far as spending money, I was thinking maybe $35/week would be enough. I’m thinking about giving her 140/month and if she runs out it’s her problem. If there are any side trips or special activities, she will have to pay herself from her savings. She is supposed to have work study second semester and it breaks down to 30/week, so thats where I came up with that figure. Once her work study kicks in I will contribute less. </p>

<p>Re-reading the above sounds a bit harsh! But as you said and as D understands, this is an expensive school. I am making sacrifices to send her there so she will have to sacrifice too!
It should be interesting to see how it all works out!!!</p>

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<p>We pay for all educational expenses - that includes books.</p>

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<p>I don’t think there’s any ‘normal/traditional’ to what people expect. I know people who give their kids very large allowances each month based on going to school in an urban area where public transit is expensive and they want them to take advantage of what the city has to offer. I know others who expect their kids to use summer earnings towards tuition and work during the semester for spending money. In each extreme the students have done fine. You have to decide what is best for your family, more importantly your student, and be willing to adjust as necessary.</p>

<p>Personally, our son has been fortunate enough to work full time during the summers to earn money. He’s responsible for books and all spending money. We paid for his computer. We are driving distance so travel costs are minimal. So far this is working.</p>

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<p>We paid for the initial laptop but they had/have to pay for new ones. We paid for books. They each earn(ed) their spending money through campus jobs.</p>

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<p>Boondocks- I’m all for having kids work and contribute… but at the same time, you don’t want to be sending the message that you are angry that he’s at Landmark and will likely need five years to get his BA. Presumably that’s a plan you all bought into, and being punitive about it seems somewhat counterproductive to me.</p>

<p>How about telling him that you want him to have the books he needs, plus some “fun” money so he can enjoy college, but not so much that he’s tempted to be irresponsible. And then have a discussion about making choices- how much fun is too much fun; why you’d like to see him take this next step seriously, what it will take for him to be successful.</p>

<p>I’ve seen lots of kids head off to college and be in charge of money for the first time. They don’t buy books ($1000 in textbooks sounds expensive to a kid but it is a drop in the bucket compared to your total educational expenses for your son!); they are pennywise and pound foolish (skipping meals, etc.) I think you want to convey your support and excitement for your son while reminding him that you are not an unlimited bucket of dough.</p>

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<p>We got our older 2 computers as a high school graduation present and paid for books some of the time. They paid for everything else through scholarships and loans. I think the most we paid in one semester was $350, the least $30. Loved that one. Total we spent maybe $1500?? Just a tip, don’t buy ANY books until after the first day of class and then order them online–WAY less expensive. If you can find them on Amazon, sign up for the student Amazon Prime and you get free 2 day shipping.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the heads up on Landmark College! My son is only 7 and recently diagnosed with ADHD as well as various other learning disabilities. We are fortunate to have an ADHD center nearby where he will be starting group skills classes soon and thanks to his teacher and my bulldogging he has an IEP in place for this year (we have been working on it since September which I hear is a record short period of time in our district). </p>

<p>Anyway, it is comforting to know there is a school like Landmark College should he need it in the future. I will definitely keep their summer programs in mind for his high school years.</p>

<p>As for your question, my DD who is going to college in the fall is required to purchase a MacBook Pro. She will be footing the cost for that and for any books she needs (as a dance major probably not many ).</p>

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<p>I’ve heard that they will be offering four-year programs soon.</p>

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<p>We covered everything though our son earned quite a bit of money with
part-time and summer internships.</p>

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<p>I did this too - I had a part-time job that paid fairly well.</p>

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<p>Ask your family and friends network if they have one that they don’t
need that is reliable. It may not be the fastest, prettiest or best
status symbol but it doesn’t have to be. I have one spare Mac and a
spare Dell XPS laptop - the spare Mac is if one of ours is in the
shop. The Dell is currently loaned out to a coworker because it has
been so hard to order one in the office. We normally bring it along on
trips.</p>

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<p>I have ADHD too and I worked from 14 until now - no breaks other than
vacation time.</p>

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<p>Excellent.</p>

<p>We paid for books, computers, clothes. Son paid for other personal
costs while our daughter didn’t because she has had difficulty finding
work locally.</p>

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<p>We paid for son’s laptop and tuition not covered by fin aid. We also pay for his transportation home for holidays. He has a work study job to pay for books and personal expenses. Next year the school is requiring a higher contribution so we will split the remaining cost for tuition. Everything else will stay the same.</p>

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Compare what you could earn in a summer back then to what he can earn now, and then look at each as compared to what all the expenses of college were then and are now. I think you’ll find that it’s almost impossible for a kid now to pay for the same percentage of the costs as back then. So I’d suggest paying for the books and computer, but let him cover his personal spending. When you do the math, that’s probably more equivalent to what you did back in the day.</p>

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<p>We had both kids use their summer earnings to pay for half the cost of the laptop- it gave them some buy-in. We paid for first semester freshman books- after that, they started renting what they could or buying through Amazon (neither of which has worked for brand new editions- you have to get the exact isbn the school lists.) Each kid’s total yearly cost is running maybe $400 , this way. They mostly use their school earnings (something similar to work study) for books- if something is exceptionally expensive and they haven’t been paid for a while, we’re flexible. Like Steve, we’ve had years where our total "extra checks’ to them were quite small. It’s a tradition that just before school starts and at December break, we pay for personal things, (mostly girl-things,) new sheets, new jacket they need- that sort of thing. If they want something they don’t need (in my estimation,) it comes out of earnings. </p>

<p>It helps to let them know, now, what they are responsible for- and remind frequently. Not all kids, ADD or no, have the foresight to save for those look-ahead needs and wants.</p>

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<p>My kids are on the hook for books and spending money. I bought them a new laptop, BUT would only pay the cost of a decent Windows based computer. D1 wanted a Mac… so she paid the difference between the two. To be fair, we set this expectation for our kids at the beginning of high school so “saving for college” meant something to them.</p>

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<p>My parents paid for a computer (graduation gift) and pay for my books, tuition, and room and board. Spending money and any new computing equipment is on me. I work two jobs during the school year and this is the first year I’ve had a paying summer job during college. It provided me free housing for the summer, but not food so I now need to pay for food/cooking expenses as well.</p>

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<p>Our college student covers her own books and personal expenses. She has proved herself diligent in pursuing paid employment, often multiple jobs. No one could ever call this kid lazy. If anything, she needs to slow down. </p>

<p>Now, she probably would have found more odd jobs if she hadn’t been taking summer classes. And the city pools are only open for an 8 week season, somber earnings are limited. Finally, as a nursing major, her books are expensive. So, would she ever find herself in a position of not being able to pay for her books, we would step in. And believe me, it would almost kill her to ask. We would not step in to cover personal expenses. Were she less enthusiastic about obtaining paid employment, we would not help with books if she ran out of funds.</p>

<p>She used her graduation money to buy a computer.</p>

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<p>Every family does it differently–there is no “normal”…what’s important is that everybody is on the same page. We pay for computer, books, telephone and $150 per month for personal expenses.</p>

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<p>We also paid for the laptop (graduation present) and will pay for books, lab fees, and school supplies.</p>