<p>I disagree with classicalmama. If you just care about the immediate reasons, it is like to use morphine to kill immediate pain without addressing the fundmental problem of the
deases. Education is a long procesdure and we have to look at the future outcome after the long procedure. That is why we have to consider many factors including the immediate needs.</p>
<p>Sometimes the disease is lack of educational opportunities at home.</p>
<p>Not everyone lives in an area with great schools, public or private.</p>
<p>No, classicalmama is spot on. Using BS as a mere stepping stone to “the next big achievement,” i.e. HYP is a lousy reason to send a child away from home, especially if they are thriving where they are.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s any question that the future outcome will be good–bs kids go to good colleges. End of story. If they were graduating and going on to state or community colleges (and I’m not dissing CC’s–I teach at one!), I’d say, erkybk, that I could see the cause for your concern. </p>
<p>My point is that a child who is intellectually stimulated, has plenty of worthwhile extra-curriculars, etc., has no better chance in one place than in another. Thus, the immediate needs feed, ultimately, into the good future. </p>
<p>There are many, many colleges that produce successful, productive citizens of the world. But if this is what you’re after…BS no longer guarantees an Ivy League acceptance. If that’s what you’re after, I don’t think it’s worth your money. </p>
<p>And honestly (and I hope not rudely)–if that’s mainly what you’re after, I don’t think top boarding schools particularly want your kid. They want students who value the school for the school…not for what it “guarantees” for the future.</p>
<p>Well sometimes top colleges are not what they are after. High quality education is. They just don’t want to pay the price of losing the chance of attending a top college. But I agree that there are more great colleges than the few ivies. As long as the students as well as the school have the right level of awareness and work together for best results things should turn out ok hopefully.</p>
<p>@ classicalmama: <<and honestly=“” (and=“” i=“” hope=“” not=“” rudely)–if=“” that’s=“” mainly=“” what=“” you’re=“” after,=“” don’t=“” think=“” top=“” boarding=“” schools=“” particularly=“” want=“” your=“” kid.=“”>></and></p>
<p>I really dislike this kind of statement. We’re paying them (BS), remember? Not the other way around. BS’s are in business, yes, it’s still a business transaction, like it or not, to provide an education (what they say they offer-- life long love of learning), and some opportunities, if students make good use of what’s offered and work hard, an opportunity to get into a top college. And yes, all boarding schools want great students, the ones who have imagination and drive, love of learning and willingness to work hard, including the ones who also want to go on to an ivy. </p>
<p>There’s some kind of myth being propagated on CC that somehow, top BSs sniff out families who want their kids to go on to a top college and weed them out because they don’t want to have to deal with them. If that were the case, they would be weeding out 98% of good candidates. BSs do want these kids who are motivated to succeed and achieve.</p>
<p>It is not a coincident that the most reputable and selective prep schools are also those with stella college placement records. The schools know that the comptitiveness of their graduates in getting into top colleges is one thing among others that will decide whether they’ll succeed as a business entity in the long run. Sometimes, it is hard to balance the pursuit of college success and following their own way of educating their students. Decades ago, this was not an issue, because top colleges “bought their ideas” and comfortably took their feeding of graduates. Now it is. The prep schools’ challege nowadays is to figure out what top colleges are looking for and what they can do to make their graduates more competitive when competiting with stars from PS or magnet schools. The good news is that top colleges are looking for almost exactly the same qualities and same kind of achivements as top BS are for their candidates, so BS should know what to do to keep and strengthen their students’ advantages. However, imo, top BS don’t seem to be doing anything “systematic” in helping kids get on the track in the beginning of their BS career. It is a “hush-hush” in the first two years, and then all of a sudden becomes everything when in the Junior/Senior year, casuing much more stress and dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>It seems to me that if you have a child who has survived and flourished in one of the top boarding schools for 4 years, he/she is going to have pretty high expectations for college. When I finally got down to wrapping my brain around the curriculum these BS’s offer, I was impressed. At the bare minimum, these students are going to want a “lateral” move into college, and while that might not always mean an Ivy, it certainly is going to be a highly competitive college - along with all the other “good stuff” this is part of what the tuition pays for.</p>
<p>RBGG: Don’t misunderstand me. Of course, we all want our kids to go to good colleges. And of course we all expect that bs will help our kids get there. And clearly, they do. Again, the problem comes with how narrowly we define “good” school. And success. But then, I’m one of those people who went to a “success-track” college and then strayed from the beaten path–choosing to teach in public schools–so I’m probably not representative of bs parents as a whole. </p>
<p>D’Andrew: Points taken. It’ll be interesting to see how that works out over the next few years. Honestly, though, I’d rather have my kid NOT focused on college right now–it’s enough just learning to adjust to bs, without that added, long-term stress.</p>
<p>Apparently the stress comes from the sudden shift of focus, and lack of awareness in the beginning of the career. We’ve heard so many lamenting “had I known…I would’ve…”. I think everyone including the school would be better off with an “ease in” approach. The reality is that unless you have some strong hooks, top college admissions nowadays don’t come naturally. It takes years of planning and work.</p>
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<p>RBGG, I don’t think anyone said that–can you provide quotes?</p>
<p>Top BSs are interested in bright, motivated students. Among those students, though, are kids who are not interested in attending top BSs. The parents are interested in sending their kids to these schools, but the kids aren’t interested in going.</p>
<p>There’s also the tricky question of, who’s really doing the schoolwork? Is that 8th grader doing well on his own steam, or is there a team of parents/tutors/counselors keeping him productive and competitive? I think all these schools have seen kids unravel under the stress of boarding life.</p>
<p>Emdee’s latest post has bearing on this discussion: <a href=“http://web.mac.com/shamuskhan/iWeb/Site/Work_files/gettingin.pdf[/url]”>http://web.mac.com/shamuskhan/iWeb/Site/Work_files/gettingin.pdf</a>. It’s an essay by Shamus Rahman Khan.</p>
<p>
This is a good point. Should the school, though, expect the kids they accepted to be successful without the LARGE amount of help from devoted parents/tutors/advisors? (By large amount, I mean help that wouldn’t be available in PS back home with their student faculty ratio and big classes) Should we blame any non optimal outcome to the student not being the “material” or not having the necessary motivation and study habits developed before they were accepted to BS? Are the students’ “fate” determined before they start their BS career? That is, unless you are a day student, where you don’t have to go through the test of boarding life.</p>
<p>@Periwinkle: #65, I thought I provided the quote (above).</p>
<p>There’s too much of this thinking that if a student or parent wants their child to attend an ivy, that somehow it’s too much to ask, and the BS doesn’t want their child.</p>
<p>Sure, if that’s all a family is focused on and not the education itself…</p>
<p>but, I believe most families want both.</p>
<p>@DAndrew, you make a valid point, lots of kids are successful prior to BS because they have a lot of supports. What’s wrong with asking for a tutor in BS, or having more time devoted to peer study groups instead of study hours supervised by a prefect?</p>
<p>Also, I agree, I think most students would benefit after the first semester (where they can focus on the adjustment to BS) in some type of program or help aimed at thinking about college and the college application…3 years is a short time before these kids need to be at it again applying to very competitive schools.</p>
<p>In my experience BS teachers, administrators and students talk about college from day one. That is why they call it prepatory school. College is talked about in terms of course selection, EC selection, leadership activities, etc. Parent’s weekend they did a session for parents of Sophmores with the college advisors. Info is sent home several times a year on college related topics including NCAA rules, testing schedules, when to start visiting schools, etc. In terms of academic transition and support there are study skills sessions, supervised study hall times, advisor meetings and an infinite amount of extra help from teachers. Report cards and mid-terms include written comments, not just grades, and the feedback on assignments is immense. What else are you looking for?</p>
<p>^^What school is this? Who talks about depressing topics like college in freshmen and sophomore years? 
Try to bring it up to the advisors. They’d brush it right off from your mind. So, you are saying your child’s school helps her select courses and ECs relating to college admissions? That sounds so <em>wrong politically</em>. And they have college related activiites for sophomore parents? All sound new and crazy to me! I want to be in that school. :)</p>
<p>Freshman and sophomore parents are more than welcome, and encouraged, to attend the College Counseling sessions that are presented at Exeter. There is a weekend (in February, I think) just for parents of Uppers.
At my daughter’s school (Westover), college counseling sessions are mandatory for all grade levels during parents weekend. They are divided by class level, however.</p>