<p>My son's boarding / prep school experience, so far, has been very disappointing. He is considering returning to a day school at home. Wanted to hear from some senior prep parents relative to college admissions, and if they thought it makes a significant difference.</p>
<p>My son is an average student, and makes about the same grades either place.</p>
<p>Thanks</p>
<p>Prep schools help kids get into good colleges. Best example is SPS where about 75% of its students each year get into the top 50 or so colleges. Even if your child doesn’t attend SPS or a similar elite BS, most prep schools have college counselors better connected and positioned to help students enroll in quality colleges than almost all public schools and the vast majority of private day schools.</p>
<p>Encourage your son to stay in BS and work hard; he should be better off there than elsewhere.</p>
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<p>Aw c’mon now! When you’re an adult, it might make sense to stay in a job that makes you miserable because it’s a stepping stone towards something better . . . but this kid is in his teens. Give him a break!</p>
<p>If he’s miserable, let him come home. At that age, he’ll perform better where he’s happier.</p>
<p>Also I want to add that it’s the opportunities and skills acquired at the top boarding schools that improve an applicant’s chances of acceptance at a top university, not the prestige or college matriculation stats or anything else.</p>
<p>Are the day school and the boarding school on about the same level of competitiveness? If the boarding school is more competitive, then the grades, while not stellar, might be better at the boarding school or vice versa. Grades are often on a relative scale. And if you are comparing middle school grades to high school grades, please consider that middle school grades tend to be higher than high school grades.</p>
<p>Why don’t you ask to talk to senior parents at the boarding school? This can be arranged through college advising, admissions, the person in development who works with parents, etc. You can also just sit down with someone from college advising to find out how average students fare. Try to do the same with the day school. For all you know your son is not average at his current school. Difficulty of classes counts as well.</p>
<p>At my son’s boarding school, students are encouraged to take leadership roles, especially seniors. Leadership and dedication to some ec’s can make a difference in college applications. </p>
<p>We are happy with our son’s college outcomes to date. I don’t think the college outcomes would have been as strong at his old preK-12 day school because it was no longer a good fit for the kind of person he was becoming. You might also consider whether or not your day school is still a good fit for your son. </p>
<p>Not knowing your son and his options, it is very difficult to generalize about boarding school outcomes vs. day school outcomes.</p>
<p>cldwellmom - I’ve been on all sides - a prep school graduate (PEA), an interviewer for both PEA and MIT, a mom of a college kid, a mom of a URM who is about to enter prep school.</p>
<p>Here’s the deal in a nutshell - some kids are just not cut out for boarding school. There’s no shame in that. First year experiences are rougher on some kids than others. If he’s miserable and can’t make it work, then transfer or go to public school the next year</p>
<p>But if you are worried about college - don’t. Yes - boarding schools send a larger percentage of their students to top flight colleges but there’s more to that then just coursework.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>First - the kids who do well are HAPPY to be there and are taking advantage of all there is available. Please note that in all statistics people tout the percent students admitted to top colleges but don’t notice that 30-50% DO NOT go to top schools.</p></li>
<li><p>Second - public schools tend not to emphasize Ivy’s or competitive national schools because it’s not on their radar or they don’t have experience with them. That doesn’t mean students from those schools don’t get into them, or don’t qualify. Here in the midwest it is like pulling teeth to get students and parents to consider NE schools (versus local and state schools)</p></li>
<li><p>Interviewers can tell if a kid is happy or unhappy at a school. I tend to ask why. If your son can’t adjust at boarding school I’ll wonder if he can adjust to college (as a boarder instead of a commuter).</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think your son - not you - has to decide what to do. He also needs to figure out how to solve the current problem at BS since ALL of those grades are going to count towards college no matter where he ends up (PS or BS).</p>
<p>Answer this:</p>
<p>– who decided he should go to BS - him or his parents?
– what specifically is his problem at BS?
– why did you pick a school where there are few minorities when larger schools with diverse populations are better equipped to handle the problems and have diversity councils?</p>
<p>We can’t help you if we don’t know the variables leading to your son’s problems.</p>
<p>But “getting into college” is the long term goal - he can do that from any school in the United states. Take college courses during the summer. Find programs for kids in your area that allow him more growth or to get ahead on coursework. There are more options then draining your bank account for what might be a waste of time or accepting FA that could go to another student who would love the experience.</p>
<p>What’s going on?</p>
<p>Thanks…we will evalute at the end of the year</p>
<p>My son REALLY wanted to go to boarding school. We were totally against it. He is an athlete in a sport that is prominent in the NE prep schools…consequently, received a significant FA award for that reason.</p>
<p>Specifically issues of boarding school for my son</p>
<p>The seniors / upperclassman have been pretty mean-spirited.
Name calling, etc</p>
<p>Pretty much an island, never leave campus, or meet people from other schools.</p>
<p>He loved it at first, or put on that face, now can’t wait for the year to end. Many of the students that started with him are considering not going back.</p>
<p>Little access to news or general communication. NO TV may not be a good thing. Heard nothing about health care reform!!!</p>
<p>He always has a smile on his face, but he’s pretty much faking it.</p>
<p>Some red flags about the school:</p>
<ol>
<li>hazing to the point that your son is miserable</li>
<li>a number of kids thinking about leaving.</li>
</ol>
<p>Not all schools are built the same. I can think of some well-known boarding schools that are isolated or in rural areas and don’t have an atmosphere like that - and also have frequent opportunities for students to get off campus.</p>
<p>I suspect your son is at the wrong school. It happens. I was in a similar situation at a local private school. Some parents began to refer to it as “Slytherin West” (a nod to the evil dorm in Harry Potter). Moved my oldest to a different one and she was much happier.</p>
<p>Have your son do the best he can grade wise - then figure out if he would be happier at a larger school with the same sport and with a more enlightened student body and staff. Life is too short to be scarred in a high school setting that charges you for that privilege (It’s not military school is it?)</p>
<p>One thing to think about - some kids are just wired for urban environments. I was. If so - maybe look for a larger school near a reasonably active city. But if your son is wired for a need to be around a lot of his own people (I’ve seen that happen too) then check diversity stats at the schools (the bigger the better) - ask specifically the breakdown to see how you are represented - and then figure out - new school, or come back home.</p>
<p>Not easy - but some schools have rolling admissions. My husband recently interviewed a young man from Nigeria who loved his experience at Stony Brook in Long Island. I’m sure there are others (We didn’t pursue Stony Brook because it was a bit too religious for our needs). This board has been great for identifying schools that still have openings and I think thing will open up further near April 10th as students start accepting a spot at a specific school and release their spots at others.</p>
<p>Good luck. Hugs for you too - tough spot to be in.</p>
<p>P.s. Would you mind sending a PM to tell me which school/sport? I’d be curious to research their stats. Maybe there is an alternative.</p>
<p>cldwellmom: My own view is that while boarding schools can be a great, enriching and maturing experience, they do Not get you into a college. If you think your son will be more productive and successful at a day school then that is fine. </p>
<p>My bias says that boarding schools are so self-selective that for many of the teens the college admissions are natural results for the students the boarding schools admit. That is not to say that boarding schools do not make a difference for a teen. Generally the classes are small, the teachers experienced, they love teaching and the facilities are exceptional. If it is a good school, the student benefits from exposure to equally bright and motivated students. It can be like one large multinational honors or AP class. They tend to be well prepared to ‘hit the ground running’ and the college admissions officers know that. They can learn study skills, self-reliance, independence and time management. Their school day and interactions with teachers does not end at 3:30, it continues at dinner, at night, on weekends and on the athletic fields.</p>
<p>Yes, the admissions officers do know eachother, but do not delude yourself into believing that boarding schools have magic dust that the sprinkle on the students and they get into better colleges than the would otherwise. </p>
<p>Now… having said all that, the entire first year, out teen wanted to return to his day school. He (not us) chose to stay and he now says it was the best decision he made in his life. He is into college, had a tremendous learning experience, and loves his classmates and school. He flourished.</p>
<p>tombs
My PHS has a better ratio of getting into top 20 schools with comparable GPA and SAT than SPS or Andover.
Don’t use blind statement of “Prep schools help kids get into good colleges”. It depends on which Prep and which PHS. Granted there are some poor intercity PHS in Chicago, NY, etc – but the magnets within those city compare equally to the HADES.</p>
<p>Prep School may teach more independance and better writing skills and have smaller classes. Some teachers at the preps (including the HADES) could never get an appointment teaching at PHSs as they usually don’t require teaching credentials and often a coach or librarian is given a teaching position.</p>
<p>I think the “education” may be better at a prep - but they definately don’t place more “good students” at the top colleges than do the public schools. A “good student” has an equal chance at both places and has some advantages at a PHS such as Marching Band or Dance teams (both of ours are rated in the top 10 in the country).</p>
<p>pd winterset. agree with you</p>
<p>P’Dad, I stand by my statement: “Prep schools help kids get into good colleges.” The acceptance numbers at prep schools, especially the top prep schools, are undeniable. Just because some public schools may have fine acceptance rates doesn’t diminish the fact that prep schools have attractive acceptance rates. </p>
<p>Prep schools help “prep” kids for colleges. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t exist (or, at least, shouldn’t exist). The better the prep school, the better the chances of that school preparing its students for the best colleges. Your public school may “help kids get into good colleges”. Great. But such assistance doesn’t mean that prep schools don’t also help kids get into good colleges. </p>
<p>But, if you want to compare your PHS to SPS, my statement still stands. “Prep schools help kids get into good colleges.” Some public high schools may do a better job than some prep schools in getting their students into the best colleges, but I doubt they do a better job, as a general rule, in getting studdents into good colleges.</p>
<p>Let’s take your numbers. You say your PHS has a better ratio of getting kids into top 20 schools than SPS. Accepting those numbers as true, for the sake of argument, what about the ratio of getting kids into just “good colleges”. SPS gets 75% of its kids into the top 50 colleges. How does your PHS do here? 75%? Doubt it. </p>
<p>Prep schools help kids get into good colleges.</p>
<p>Pdad, how would you possibly have the gpa and sat statistics for the sps and andover kids that got into the top schools.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.paly.net/info/profile.pdf[/url]”>http://www.paly.net/info/profile.pdf</a></p>
<p>Is this the PHS you are talking about? Can’t find how many of its students end up in top 20 colleges though. Do you have the matriculation lists for the recent years? P’Dad, you could make your case if you give some specifics.</p>
<p>Here’s an anecdote from my hometown. My favorite kid at Choate, B+ student in all AP and honors classes, significant ECs but absolutely no sports, not URM, is happily going to a top 20 university with a lot of FA. Local valedictorian at the local public school, A+ average, lots of awards and activities, turned down at that same school. In my experience, from watching family and friends, going to a (GOOD!) prep school makes a huge difference in college admissions.</p>
<p>“My favorite kid” - love the humor! :)</p>
<p>Prep schools help kids get into good colleges.</p>
<p>I suspect your son is used to being the big fish in the small pond before leaving to BS. Many recruited athletes are. Looking back at your earlier posts, you were asking about not making the varsity team in November, which I will assume for his winter sport (hockey?) he didn’t make the team. </p>
<p>This will take a lot out of a kid who is used to being the first line kid on the top team. He may have had the attitude that he’s the man and found that quickly deflated at tryouts. And if he did have that attitude, it is no surprise that the upperclassmen seem mean. The problem here is that he has an expectation of being peers with the older kids which for the most part doesn’t happen in the highly competitive sports world (except for your true prodigies). Those upperclassmen are probably going to remind the JV player that he is JV - not unique to that boarding school or any school for that matter.</p>
<p>The bigger problem I see here is the herd mentality of his peers talking about bailing out. Usually, in the frosh and sophomore years, the kids are building a class bond. Often that is through surviving the tough times dealing with the upperclassmen. They too grow up into upperclassmen and often forget where they have been. Typical, if not ideal.</p>
<p>You say his grades are average both at this school and at home. This tells me that the social situation is not as grave as it seems and this is more complaining than a serious problem. </p>
<p>What he seems to lack is someone challenging him to build a solution - how next year is going to be better without “x” and how the group is team will be stronger, etc. </p>
<p>And now with the winter season shorter than playing club hockey, he is stripped of his reason for being there. He needs to find something to bond to this spring. Hopefully that will be a spring sport.</p>
<p>As to how to improve his experience, you probably need to talk to all of these folks: winter sport coach - should be giving your son a realistic outlook for where he stands for next season (hopefully good news); dorm parent - I am going to assume here that he is in a dorm with his classmates who don’t seem to be bonding together. Dorm parents need feedback that if Johnny, Jack, and Steve are talking about not coming back they need to make the experience better for Johnny, Jack, and Steve. A major part of the dorm parent’s job is to make sure these kids are doing things they enjoy together - getting off campus on Sunday instead of moping around their rooms; Advisor - Keep an eye on how he is socializing in class and whether he is distracted by the social issues.</p>
<p>As a 4-year BS parent, I’ve heard the talk of groups of kids not coming back. Some times it is talk, other times it isn’t. I know that my recruited athlete had a mission to accomplish and kept that in mind during the stressful times early on. I think that having something positive to focus on is the most important thing. Right now, it seems to be lacking for your son. </p>
<p>As to the isolation from the world, trust me goaliegirl has been there for 4 years. The internet is a fine source of news and entertainment if he seems to be needing it. Most kids however are too busy to realize what is going on in the rest of the world. Sounds like yours is isolating himself with others who are doing the same if he is looking for TV. It is a behavior pattern that needs to be broken most likely with the help of the adults at his school.</p>
<p>One last thing. Most 14-15 year olds are not equipped to take apart what is making them so miserable. They take a simplistic view of things - upperclassmen are mean - and don’t see how this is related to the fact that his peergroup is not bonding together on a positive note where they don’t even interact with the upperclassmen. It is not his fault that he is miserable, but he needs to understand how he must be part of the fix (making the effort) to make things for him and his peers better.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>I bungled a bit the college matriculation numbers for SPS in my posts above. </p>
<p>Please note that, according to the Matriculation Stats posted elsewhere on CC by a certain Lawrenceville graduate, 61.8% of all SPS grads over the past four years have enrolled in a “top school” (defined as the top 25 national universities and top 15 liberal arts colleges according to “US News and World Report”) and 83.2% of these graduates enrolled in a “strong school” (defined as the top 50 national universities and the top 30 liberal arts schools by such Report).</p>
<p>Breathtaking. </p>
<p>Prep schools help kids get into good colleges.</p>
<p>I agree that prep schools held kids get into good colleges. They also help them broaden their horizons beyond their own backyard. Many of my son’s friends who stayed home and went to either a public HS or one of the local privates did not look beyond our state and neighboring ones for schools. My son was encouraged by his college counsellor to look not only in all 50 states but in the UK as well. </p>
<p>I think that prep schools do a good job of getting kids into top schools because they encourage kids to think of their college education in a broader framework. </p>
<p>The college counsellors also make it their job to get to know the admissions staff at all the top schools across the country. Local private and, especially public, schools often just don’t have the bandwith to do that.</p>
<p>All being said, my BS senior was accepted at his top choice (tip 15 LAC). I am sure that he would have never heard of that specific school had he stayed home.</p>