<p>well, depending on where you live, i'm sure you can connect w/ your country in other ways than just your name. language, food, culture, etc. i think it's just a choice that many ethincs make to distance themselves from their own culture.</p>
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chances are you have no other connection to your mother country.
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<p>Personally, I don't like using the phrase "mother country" to describe a place in which a person's ancestors might have come from, but not themselves. That's why I find people asking Asian-Americans "Where are you from?" problematic. Many were born in America. So they are from America. Maybe its their parents or grandparents who have a different "mother country." America does not = white. American does not = white. So why is it hard for people to accept a Korean American whose mother country is in fact America?</p>
<p>I find your idea that having a Western first name means you probably have no connection to your ethnicity's culture very problematic. Tell that to the many Asian Americans I know whose first names are Jennifer and Caroline and David and John and they'll kick your ass. </p>
<p>Ethnic pride does not = only accepting your ethnicity's culture and excluding everything else. You can be a proud Asian American and have a first name like William.</p>
<p>im asian, im in a predominantly white fraternity and i'm also involved in my school's chinese student association.</p>
<p>peals, your post reminded me of a conversation I had with my son. He has 2 suitemates that are of Chinese ethnicity. I asked him where they were from --thinking they were "from" somewhere in the states. He replied "China, Mom". I said "No, I mean where is their hometown". He replied that they were in fact from mainland China. I guess I have the opposite problem--I think everyone I meet is automatically "from" the states.</p>
<p>Maradona: (post 160) Chances are that you're wrong. Why do you see all these different cultural festivities every year? Cinco de Mayo, Asian/African fashion shows, European parades, etc. Yeah, the millions of people here obviously have NO connection to their country. -_-</p>
<p>with everything here... and post 100 by... i forget.. (sorry!), i just want to say this:
i was born and raised in the United States (always in the ny/nj region) to two chinese immigrants (both PhD candidates at the time)... i didn't learn how to speak english until kindergarten, and was being considered for ESL.. it's not that i didn't have non-asian friends (my mother was PhD-ing at Yeshiva University- a Jewish college, and i went to two predominantly white preschools in Manhattan) but I was also exposed to a lot of chinese culture. My babysitters were Chinese, and I don't have the southern accent in Mandarin my parents have, but rather the Tianjin (Northern) accent my babysitters had. Throughout elementary and middle school, I had very few asian friends and I guess I kind of assimilated into "American" culture, though I guess I really didn't, because at school, I cared about one set of value, and I was a different person at home. At school, I spoke English, at home, Chinese. Now, in high school, there are many more Asians in my school, though still a minority (5%), but I am hanging out with more Asians- not only because we're in a lot of classes together, but because we can understand each other more. </p>
<p>I'm a blend of Asian and American values, and it clashes with both my parents and my friends. With my parents, I've tried to get them to understand where I'm coming from, that I value encouragement and support, rather than continual criticism, which is what they claim is "Chinese Culture" and I disagree with them about how much I need to participate in family life. However, I also have a different set of values from my caucasian friends. I generally value education a lot more, and tend to think in the long-run more. (again, not a generalization... well kind of it is, but it's a generalization of what I experience, not neccessarily the world, please don't attack me on this) Therefore, I have begun to associate with other Asian-Americans more, because they understand what it's like to become caught between two cultures and two sets of values. </p>
<p>haha sorry about my grammar/spelling... it's past midnight and i'm running a fever... but that's my two cents/explanation/whatever</p>
<p>Though it is quite common at Berkeley, you don't have to be like them - you can have as diverse a group of friends as you would like. I'm Indian and I have but one very close Indian friend here - the others are a Chinese, Korean, and a half Chinese/half White kid. As ethno-inclusive as your school might be, you don't have to follow the trend. Just as you will see as you go out into the real world beyond college, you'll notice some individuals only forming friendships with people of their same ethnicity - it's their prerogative, but just remember that it certainly doesn't have to be yours. There's probably numerous reasons for college kids doing so - perhaps they're far away from home, and as things are quite unfamiliar, there's familiarity in terms of cultural similarity in other kids of like-ethnicity. I don't prescribe to this notion because in my view there are so many factors - similar experiences, values, personality traits, which tie one person to another that the cultural factor really begins to dissipate after a point. What you hold to be important in a relationship is much more important than all of this, so be friends with who you will, and don't worry about other people because it's likely that in life you'll encounter a lot of people who act in ways you don't necessarily understand or approve. But you're not wrong to identify the problem - it's really a very visible problem in our higher education system. I still don't know what to think about these clubs and various organizations which are geared toward specific ethnicities, and which, while they do not explicitly exclude other races from joining, they by nature are exclusionary simply because someone of a different race may be just a little uncomfortable being the only one or one of few who were different in the organization. It's very odd for me to see, but what can you say, it's the great flaw of the melting pot.</p>
<p>hmm. muy interesante topic. It's just like, why do student sit with their race at the lunch table or w/e? Martin Luther Kind would be so proud...</p>
<p>the reasons may be pretty obvious: comfortable niche, more in common, etc
personally, I think I have a pretty diverse group of friends, but I definitely have more in common with my asian friends. I don't want to over generalize, but they are more motivated and take more honor classes. They understand the importance of education; these are the people who are going somewhere in life. </p>
<p>and if there was an "asian apprecian club" or w/e at my school, hell yea I would join. </p>
<p>the other students be so jealous!/1/1/1!!!1!!!</p>
<p>Back in my home town, there were very few people who weren't of the same ethnicity as me - probably less than one percent of my school weren't white. All the kids who weren't though didn't bunch together, though it would have been difficult as there usually wasn't more than one per year (none in my year at all). There was never the slighest hint of racism that I saw or heard of, and with all of them, they were just the same as every other pupil except for skin colour. I know that several of them were from families who were still very respectful of their original cultures - one local asian family whose kids were great mixers at school spoke only their native tongue at home for example, and I remember their eldest son chatting to us about how he was heading off to Mecca, etc. I've got a lot of great recipes for asian food passed on from them as well! </p>
<p>I love travel, learning new languages, and food from everywhere (all of my favourite foods are from other countries) and I was really psyched to find out that of my flatmates first semester last year, one was French and one was an Indian immigrant. I speak rather good French and love Indian food, so was excited about that, as well as having the initial impetus to make lots of new friends that starting a degree usually gives.
The next semester, I was sharing with people from Africa and India. I was still excited, especially as I didn't know anyone from Africa and was keen to get to know her.
I never saw any of my flatmates with anyone who wasn't from their own ethnicity. With every single one of them, I tried to strike up conversations and make friends, but always rejected, and no attempt was ever made to be friends with me. All of them spoke excellent English (international students need to pass tests usually to demonstrate their proficiency, and if they're good enough to write proper academic essays, they can probably manage the odd chatty sentence!). It got to the stage where my boyfriend and I would try to talk loudly in German in the flat because we were so sick of being ignored and since nobody bothered to talk in any language we could understand! One of my best friends at uni had similar problems when a couple of Indian guys moved on to her floor, and despite repeated overtures from the others living there, only socialised with other Indian guys. I remember her saying that she got up in the early hours of the morning to get a drink, wandered into her kitchen, and found about 30 Indian guys having a curry party. Needless to say, nobody else on the floor had been invited.</p>
<p>I have ended up with only white friends at college, but it certainly hasn't been for lack of trying. Even with my white friends, only a couple of them are from my country (teaching Irish girls to cook Greek food is fun!). I really don't feel like I came to college with any inbuilt racism - quite the opposite in fact - and now I feel rather disillusioned with such things as a result of the last year. :(</p>
<p>Interesting viewpoint, but I think most college kids are more flexible than you think. Just bandying together doesn't mean they're averse to communication with other racial groups. My brother has a huge group of Indian friends, but also has many white friends, black friends, hispanics, etc.</p>
<p>This is pretty common at U of Michigan. I'm not immune to this. I've definitely met kids of other races that I like and hang out with occassionally, but my core group of friends is pretty much all white.</p>
<p>But I have to mention that the best parties I've been to here have been "Asian" parties. Some other kids from my dorm came with me to the last one and all I hear about now is "when's the next asian party?"</p>
<p>I go to an international high school, and my closest friends are Indian (3), African American (2), Russian, Lebanese, Salvadorean, Argentinian, Caucasian American, and so on (I'm Swedish). If you saw me and my friends together you'd probably consider us a diverse group, but look closer and you'll notice that, regardless of our skin color, we're all studious upper middle class private school kids with highly educated parents and remarkably similar backgrounds. Maybe we aren't so diverse as all that.</p>
<p>I agree with whoever said that people tend to associate themselves with those whose background is similar to their own, whether that be a question of race, culture, religion, socioeconomic background, or anything else. I don't necessarily see anything evil in it provided that it isn't close-minded, even if hanging out exclusively with people who are similar to yourself may not always be terribly interesting.</p>
<p>Yea my brother said that Indian parties are very popular.</p>
<p>To Maradonna:
I have a western first name, and an Indian surname.
I don't lack "ethnic pride". What does that mean? I've never thought of it.
I have lived in both the United States and India. I am an example of how you can speak perfect (British) English, dress western and still follow conservative Indian values.
I eat Indian food as much as American food.
I have met a lot of nice white people, who never struck me as racist.
Most Indians I know are just like me... neither exclusively Indian, nor exlusively Western. It's the best way... isn't it? </p>
<p>Most people -
1) Don't care too much to stick to one particular ethnic identity. I eat Chinese food, speak French and am currently learning Spanish... and there are lots of people like me.
2) You don't have to grudge people their choices... if some people want to be insular, let it be. </p>
<p>It's the age of the Internet, man! Boundaries are falling.... I wouldn't even have known you're Asian if you hadn't said so.</p>
<p>cameliasinensis ...</p>
<p>well said :D</p>
<p>The reason why college kids hang out with people of their own ethnicity is because they did it in high school. They did it in high school because sat with people of their own ethnicity for eight years in grade school. They sat with them for eight years because their parents live in neighborhoods with people of their own ethnicity. The point is this: segregation is not a recent trend, it is a historical precedent that was supported by the law until the Supreme Court overturned Plessy v. Ferguson in 1954 with their decision in Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas. College may be a good starting point to break down the walls of racism and prejudice, but it is definitely not the end point. Decades of state-supported discrimination will never be unraveled in four to five years of college. If we want college kids to stop hanging out exclusively with members of their race, then we must teach them well before they fill out those Common Applications.</p>
<p>In my opinion, it's wrong for the government to segregate people based on race. That's why the Brown decision exists. But individuals are not wrong for associating themselves with whomever they choose. It's important that we do not confuse the racial with the social. Even among groups of the same race, you still find people clique-ing with select individuals. Why does that happen? Perhaps this phenomenon occurs simply because they don't know each other, despite any absence of prejudicial beliefs, and people usually don't sit next to others that they don't know. Do we then punish people for sitting next to people that they know because they are of the same race? I'm from Chicago, where the majority of the 2 million residents are minority. My elementary school was 100% black, my high school was 98% black. I couldn't help but hang out with black kids like myself. Am I wrong? Do I have a prejudice against members of other ethnic groups? God forbid. </p>
<p>I guess my parting words are those of warning: Remember the boy who cried wolf? Well, if we keep crying "racism" for otherwise inocuous events and practices, then no one will want to help us.</p>
<p>I think what some people on this board are trying to say is that it sucks that people only hang with their own ethnicity or race. Not that it is ooo soo horrible or those people are secretly racist or anything its just that like others have mentioned, you stick with what you know. Hey it would be great for people of different ethnicities to make an effort to get out of their bubble or comfort zone and be friends with people who are from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds but you have to be brave, confident or have a genuine desire to accomplish that.</p>
<p>bottom line - if you hang out with your own ethinicity i understand and it is your right but if you are the type of person to get to know other types of people than I respect you for your bravery and your open mindedness and more power to you.</p>
<p>Imagine going from one culture to another that's completely different. Wouldn't you want to find people that you can at least relate to and have a good time with? I bet most of you didn't even need passports to get from your doorstep to college, or even cross a timezone. </p>
<p>I travelled a full 12 timezones to attend Cornell. And yes, I do stick around other Asian kids and attend events hosted by Asian organizations and whatnot. It's not that I'm racist, I'm very open to talking with people from all races, but really, when it comes to the activities I enjoy they're mostly from the Asian culture. Watching football or playing poker is not my idea of a good time, and believe me, I've tried to make myself like it. I'm still friends with and talk with all kinds of people, but obviously I'm most comfortable with other Asians and what they do in their free time.</p>
<p>The truth about most internationals (IE not immigrants), myself included, is that after they get their degree, they aren't going to stay in the US. So there's really no need for them to "assimilate."</p>
<p>A lot of you think you know about diversity and other cultures. Being culturally aware doesn't just mean you had a few friends in high school from a minority group. It isn't just about watching another culture's street parade, or holding discussions about tolerance, or honoring Martin Luther King day. Being culturally aware means leaving your neighborhood or even your country and going somewhere where values are different. And I'd bet that if you were in that situation, you'd try to find people that are similar to you as well.</p>
<p>I'm a Chinese person who was born in Canada, raised in Hong Kong, and now I'm at an American university. I went to one of the few English speaking schools in Hong Kong, and we had a minority of American students who's parents were there for business. And guess what, they stuck together. So don't think that just because you're white or black or American you're fully tolerant and diversified. Like another poster said, even though America is a proverbial melting pot of cultures, most people eat the same types of food and speak the same basic language. Additionally, they are aware of the same news issues, know the same colloquialisms, have the same sense of political sensitivity, buy the same brands and have the same standard of living. How can you expect someone who is not aware of any of these things to flawlessly integrate into a new society, abandoning what they already know and are comfortable with? A lot of you telling internationals just to go out there and "mix, try new things, and stop segregating yourselves" have probably not even left your own country or state and have no clue what it's like to adapt to an entirely new culture.</p>
<p>MisterB - Well said. I'm not an international student in the literal sense (I've lived in the US for over five years) but as a Swedish foreign service brat who was raised in Stockholm, Moscow, Brussels, and Washington, I can relate. I know that if I were to go to university in Sweden, I'd probably have hard time relating to students who have never lived abroad. Here I'm European but not really, and I'm not American but close enough... still, I'm far more assimilated than most internationals. It'll be interesting to experience American society outside of the international school bubble, but obviously it'll be a much easier transition than coming directly from another country.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Imagine going from one culture to another that's completely different. Wouldn't you want to find people that you can at least relate to and have a good time with? I bet most of you didn't even need passports to get from your doorstep to college, or even cross a timezone. </p>
<p>I travelled a full 12 timezones to attend Cornell. And yes, I do stick around other Asian kids and attend events hosted by Asian organizations and whatnot.</p>
<p>The truth about most internationals (IE not immigrants), myself included, is that after they get their degree, they aren't going to stay in the US. So there's really no need for them to "assimilate."</p>
<p>A lot of you telling internationals just to go out there and "mix, try new things, and stop segregating yourselves" have probably not even left your own country or state and have no clue what it's like to adapt to an entirely new culture.
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<p>Yeah, this was all addressed days ago, probably within the first ten posts. Internationals, I already stated, have more of an "excuse." We went over this really quite some time ago; I really thought most people would have caught on to that point already.</p>