@droppedit - I don’t know. I am a big proponent of never letting a problem start so my kid was programmed early, like kindergarten, that some things are non-negotiable. Too many people want to be their kids friend. I would always tell my kid I have plenty of friends, she was not one. Love her to death and she knows it, but knew early my expectations. Guess it was my being raised raised in a military household. By the time she was in high school, I must admit I didn’t have any issues with school. Luckily (and sometimes it is the luck of the draw) she was not a party animal or a drinker. Still isn’t.
But, there were a few times in high school where she over scheduled herself and then had to do homework into the wee hours of the morning. At first I used to feel sorry for her. Then I finally told her that I had my degrees and was done with all nighters. I would then go off to bed and let her fend for herself.
“Failure” for some college kids may be taking some time off and working in an attempt to figure out their lives. Few people in life follow a straight path and it is sometimes those that take a few detours that end up in the best position. I’ve known kids who have left school, gotten jobs, and after awhile realized that they could not afford the lifestyle they aspired to or were used to on a minimum wage salary. If they see their friends in school, they will usually get their act together. If a parent bulldozes everything out the way so the path is always straight and clear, that is when the problems begin. All just my opinions. I know every kid and family is different.