<p>I would like to hear the reasons that you want to attend boarding school. Is it because of the breadth of classes, diverse student population, improve chances to get into better college? Or, something else? More responsibility--leadership opportunities, moving away from Mom and Dad? Your comments would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Maybe this is too personal of a question, or perhaps because your plans for next year are already set in place--you don't feel like answering such a question. (It is a question that typically would be asked at the beginning of the process, not at the end--3 months before you start boarding school.) Anyway, I am asking because one of my daughters is very interested in attending boarding school and I am not sure that I see the benefits. She already attends a private day prep school, and is getting an excellent education. I don't think that you need to attend boarding school to get into a great college. My brothers and I all attended great schools (i went to Georgetown), my parents received masters degrees from Columbia and Harvard, and none of us had attending boarding school. I will say though that my sister in-law went to Choate and my brother was the chaplain at Choate (Catholic Priest) for 7 years--both have wonderful things to say about the school.</p>
<p>I have 3 daughters at this prep school and pay about $65K a year in tuition. I don't see why I should tack on another $15K for boarding school tuition. </p>
<p>So, I was wondering if some of you would share your thoughts as to what you think you will get from a boarding school education that you wouldn't receive in another environment. Thanks!</p>
<p>i think no one has responded to this thread because the reasons for going to boarding school are very different for each person. to me, everyone goes for the great education, but also for many other, very diverse, reasons. i don't think it usually is a situation where the student wants to get away from their parents, but it is an opportunity for independence and a chance to take control of their own future. i cannot try to say why your daughter should or should not go to boarding school as i do not know anything about her and because usually students get from boarding school, what they put into it. boarding school is not right for some students and perfect for others. it really depends.</p>
<p>Also, i don't think that the only reason a student should attent boarding school is because of the education. Not only are there an astounding amount of sports, clubs, and other organizations to be involved in, but also the way the students are educated comes into play. The atmosphere of the classes breed a student's love of learning, not just a need to just go to an ivy league school because it sounds good or is impressive. They go for the experience</p>
<p>Perhaps your children have everything they need where they are and that is quite a fortunate thing. Boarding schools can provide many things to many kids. Some parents cannot give their kids what they need within driving distance to their homes or don't want to waste sometimes more than an hour of their day round trip to get them to and from while their kids can be doing something else that is productive for them. First rate science centers, performing arts centers, everything all in one place with no commuting time enhances daily life like nothing else for those who desire such programs. Of course if you are lucky enough to be near such a school than obviously that may be the correct thing for you to do and just not board. Indeed to me, parenting is at times a long painful process of letting go. It's not about me, however, it's about what is best for my children. Allowing and guiding a child to becoming a capable young person is empowering for them. A boarding school experience is just another path along the way that can help them become independent socially, emotionally and academically. So many boarding school children blossom and thrive and love the experience. There are many ways to achieve your goals. I believe in following the child. Best of luck.</p>
<p>I think the previous posters have hit the nail on the head here.</p>
<p>R&J - It sounds like your children have a very good setup where they are currently with all the advantages necessary to get accepted to any school they are capable of. I can understand why you ask this question. </p>
<p>The best answer I can give for why you would consider a boarding situation is that if you daughter is ready to take more responsibility for her life (anything from managing her daily schedule to managing her academic course), boarding school is a place where she would feel more in control of those things and empowered to act on her own dreams not feeling like (whether or not it is real) she lives to someone else's plans.</p>
<p>And if she can manage her own affairs (with minimal guidance from the school and even less perceived influence from home) at boarding school, the challenges of independence at college will seem like nothing. </p>
<p>There are many kids who go to fine private day schools, whose lives are so well managed by the adults around them that they don't develop the skills necessary to handle those responsibilities at college and struggle with all the distractions during their freshman year. This is just one way of making that transition easier.</p>
<p>Having said that, as a parent we must be careful that the child does not see boarding school as that "escape" from parental control that in his/her eyes means 24/7 freedom to mess up. If your daughter is the type who chafes at the structure of a disciplined life, I think a move to boarding school could be disasterous, if the school is not good at instilling that personal discipline.</p>
<p>I think you may not see too many more responses for a couple of days as most of us just finished fetching ours from school and many are on holiday. Don't take the lack of responses as anything else. Personally, I finished our drive home at 9 AM this morning.</p>
<p>I would not have sent my children to boarding school if we had had equivalent local private day schools that I could have transported them to (I work from 8 am to 6 pm). However, I agree with what others are saying. college for the older two has been a piece of cake.</p>
<p>Thank you very much for your responses. Each of you has provided thoughtful, thought-provoking comments. I believe my daughter wishes to go for the experience as well as the independence of living away from home. Perhaps if I didn't know that another check of $65,000 would have to be written in September, (let alone $15,000 on top of it) I would have responded to her request with a more open mind!</p>
<p>hmm, well im speaking for myself here, but for me a huge draw to the whole boarding school thing was the fact that many of them happen to have amazing resources available for students, and the quality of education there is top-notch. imean i remember the first time i was flipped through exeter's course catalog- where else could one take classes like existentialism or english romanticism or bellydance or that sort of thing? :D sure, alot of students there matriculate to great colleges, but hey- theres definitely alot more to prep school that college matriculation. but for sure boarding school isnt something for everyone. when i first got to my current boarding school, i couldnt understand why students would sometimes go on "medical leave" for depression/stress etc. i remember my response was something along the lines of 'wow, thats incredibly lame- ur parents shell out the money for u to go to boarding school and this is what u do with it??' but now ive come to understand that theres a huge difference between a kid who's bright and talented and a kid who's bright/talented but READY to live in a boarding environment. :)</p>
<p>R&J</p>
<p>I assure you there are many students at boarding schools whose families were not originally enthralled with the idea. I know people who were not sure until it was decision time. Students want BS for many different reasons, but the most important factor is that the student him/herself is interested in going and feels ready for being away.</p>
<p>However, as you are responsible for the family, its calendar, and for the finances, of course you can decide whether a school change is something to consider. I saw on another post that your children are in an excellent school now, with particularly good college outlook given the state where you live. If I were in your shoes, I think I would share your view.</p>
<p>I don't know how old the d. in question is, or whether she is in the birth order, but it sounds like she is ready to break out a bit, ready for change. But Cranbrook changes a lot in the upper grades, doesn't it? THere will be new students, right? Maybe your d. needs to get excited about all the things ahead of her where she is. Is there a year abroad or vacation travel opportunity? How about the summers? Can she do something different, and without classmates and sisters? Talk to your daughter and find out what she is looking for and the options to get it. </p>
<p>I am very happy that my s. is going to BS. I believe it is the right choice for him, but not the only good choice for all. Your daughter is already in a great school - without going through the very intense application process.</p>
<p>R&J,</p>
<p>Now knowing that your D is at Cranbrook (we lived in the SE Michigan for a number of years with my wife growing up there and her brother attending Cranbrook), I'd definitely agree that you have everything you need academically at Cranbrook. Culver would proabably be classified as a parallel transfer, with some opportunities being better at either school.</p>
<p>I don't remember Culver (even as a boarding student) being that much more expensive than being a day student at Cranbrook, though. Perhaps my memory is bad, but Culver was never as expensive as the east coast schools (unless you add on one of the special programs like aviation or equestrian).</p>
<p>If she has been at Cranbrook for a couple of years, the familiarity may be breeding a little contempt (or boredom), as it is more difficult to stay at a school for middle and high school for that long knowing that there are other adventures to be had. Perhaps the change of scenery might rejuvinate. Culver's is a beautiful campus (although I like Cranbrook better), but I could easily see it becoming a bit boring over time.</p>
<p>You have an interesting choice to make. It would seem that your daughter has an interest in moving to newer experiences (boarding and independence), but will any move you make keep her happy for the rest of HS? Do you ask her to find more in what she has available, or try to find it elsewhere?</p>
<p>Inquiring Mind: Thanks for your nice comments. You bring up a lot of valid points, especially about the upper school dynamics changing. I have 3 daughters--twins that will be entering 9th grade and one that will be entering 7th grade. Being a twin can bring on challenges that my youngest daughter doesn't have to deal with: comparison by teachers, friends, parents. One twin is in the "cool" group--the other isn't. One twin has a boyfriend, the other one doesn't. One twin has to really study to get good grades, the other one breezes through. I can go on, but you get the idea. (by the way, the twin who wishes to attend boarding school is the one who is in the "cool" group)</p>
<p>I do think that you are correct in your statement that she is ready to break out a bit--I think it is very hard for her to consider herself an individual when she has her twin sister around. After reading many of the posts on this board, I think that she would thrive at boarding school. I think that it would give her a sense of independence (and individuality) that she doesn't have right now. </p>
<p>I am coming around to the idea of boarding school. However, she wants to attend school in the fall. Of course the majority of schools are all filled--although there are still some openings at other "second tier" schools. Now I am wondering--are the benefits of living away for one year--at a "lesser" school, more important than staying at a great day school, where you are in a great academic environment, but don't have the opportunity to be on your own, without your twin sister right there....</p>
<p>GoalieDad, Cranbrook costs $24K for upper school and $21K for middle school. Culver is about $33.5K. So, it is not much more than what I will be paying at Cranbrook. However, Culver is not accepting any more applicants for the fall. I really do like Culver--because of the leadership aspect. I think that the school teaches kids to become leaders.</p>
<p>Culver is a beautiful school. Did you call them or just going by what they say on their web site as far as fall applicants? Just wondering if you might get a different response on the phone.<br>
They also have a great summer program.</p>
<p>Hi Linda, Yes, I spoke to them. They are no longer accepting applicants this year. My nephew will be attending their summer camp, and I hear that it is wonderful.</p>
<p>R&J -
My daughters both attend a local independent school, perhaps similar to yours (at least the tuition is the same). The courses are definitely more rigorous than the top levels at the public schools, and there are many interesting electives in the humanities and also strong arts program and science. It it the highest challenge they could have? No. My oldest is finishing her freshman year and for the well rounded ness they encourage she feels she is being held back somewhat academically. Instead of looking at boarding schools, she is attending one for a summer program this year. I think this will help her grow for independence and will broaden her horizons and she will get to take courses in areas not offered at our (relatively small) school. </p>
<p>The main reason to keep them in day school is for financial reasons, as well will be paying for probably full fare for college unless there is merit money. By supplimenting the excellent (but not the very best) education with different options over the summer we think its a happy medium for us.</p>
<p>YMMV of course
Jackie</p>
<p>Check out the scca list on the SSAT website for schools which are still considering applicants.</p>
<p>Goaliedad's response was particularly helpful.</p>
<p>I am intrigued by the opportunities at boarding schools to develop independence, and also by the accessibility of teachers. So far, while I am really interested, our family has not yet been able to even visit any. I think I might have an inability to let my children live away from home any sooner than college. </p>
<p>I live in a major metro area with reasonable traffic, so my children have good access to fantastic resources nearby. Still, I am sure that they could be getting even more (especially at a top BS), with respect to 24/7 immersion in a uniformly competitive peer group. However, I literally crave seeing my kids. Our family of four is so very close and we love doing things together. My husband and I have a lot of friends but there is no one we'd rather hang out with than our children. Our children both have good buddies, but even though they are different genders and three years apart they are best friends. I worry they would miss each other terribly. I sent my older one for a summer session at a top BS, and the younger one spent the five weeks trying to show us that he could handle not having her around. He was like a Golden Retriever at the airport when we went to pick her up - I have never seen him happier than when she came home. </p>
<p>I still think for my two children BS would be very beneficial, but I can't seem to imagine how our family could make it work without major heartache. Has anyone else out there wrestled with this?</p>
<p>Major heartache definitely applies. However, as much as I struggle emotionally, I've come to the conclusion that this is not about me. It is about them. We simply can't give them everything we believe they will get at boarding school. The opportunities are incredible. Yet, our family life couldn't be more wonderful. It will be so painful, but ultimately, if they are given the chance to grow and thrive separately from us, that is also a great accomplishment and they will be empowered to accomplish even more by themselves when they are older. Their foundations are set very well now, and we will constantly be guiding them even though we are not with each other like we are now. Time will tell. I hope giving them their wings will allow them to soar. Even if your children don't go to boarding schools, by considering your options, and exploring opportunities, you are doing the very best you can for them and will ultimately make the right choices.</p>