Why Swarthmore transfer essay! VERY ORIGINAL! I'm sure youll enjoy it!

Colleges and Universities A-Z Swarthmore College
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<p>Never really done anything like this, but I figure my only chance to get in would be to REALLY stand out somehow :P I actually liked it, and I enjoyed reading it(even though I wrote it myself) :p </p>

<p>Tell me what you think! :D </p>

<p>Why Swarthmore?</p>

<p>Why Swarthmore huh? Well, I could give you the same old regurgitation praising your amazing research and the global prestige, but you already know that. I could tell you I love the awesome extracurriculars, the small population and the general mindset of a yearning to be successful, but that’s too obvious, hmm… I’m sure the usual litany could do wonders, but that’s not me. How about, I love the website? </p>

<p>The first time I heard about Swarthmore was from a member of the Indian government who is a friend of my family. He and a few other government officials visited my family in Sweden, and as we were having tea(actually it was chai), we had a series of very interesting discussions. I like to believe that I am a very sociable and relatively charismatic person, and apparently I had made a good impression because he was completely intent on helping me out to get into whatever college I wanted. I courteously thanked him but said that I believed it was an unfair advantage and that I didn’t want to live my life knowing/thinking I got to where I am because someone pulled a few strings for me. Impressed by this, he insisted that I look into Swarthmore because I possessed qualities that any school would be happy to have and that would fit in well at a respected Liberal Arts College.</p>

<p>At first, Swarthmore didn’t seem like my type of place, mainly because I thought it was too small and I assumed it would just be a horde of 4.0 drones with 2300+ SATS and a false sense of elitism. However, as a sign of respect, I decided to at least give it a chance later that evening. As I typed in, Swarthmore.edu, I waited, expecting something pompous and maybe even narcissistic. However, what I saw was nothing like what I had thought, down to earth and worldly. I spent the next hours exploring the website late into the night, until I finally fell asleep in my fairly uncomfortable chair (apparently my parents think uncomfortable = good for your back) and a glowing course catalog annoying my eyes.</p>

<p>I was pleasantly surprised and I spent the next few weeks on college forums learning more about it until I could honestly tell myself that this was the place for me. So here I am, and I think Swarthmore will be a great place for me. Though I may not be a traditional candidate, there really isn’t a lot about me that says traditional, except for my classically handsome looks!(I’m just kidding.. but really, wait ‘til you see me!) From my $700 jeans(I know, I know.. and my parents already grounded me for it) to the stupid(yet funny) idea that I should wear shorts to school in mid-December in Sweden just to make a point that wearing big jackets indoors was as ridiculous as wearing shorts outside. I may not be the perfect student, and I have never claimed to be, however, what I can promise you is that I am an ambitious, quirky, athletic, weird, compassionate and sometimes nerdy 20 year old, as long as I get the attention and motivation that I need. I think I’ll do wonders at Swarthmore and I think Swarthmore will do wonders for me, which is why I now wish with all my heart that I will soon be able to call myself a Swattie!</p>

<p>Of course, this whole story could be made up, maybe I just think that the Swarthmore Emblem would look great tattooed on my shoulder or betwen my shoulder blades, I haven’t really decided yet. There really isn't any way you could know, but I guess you’ll just have to trust me!</p>

<p>:P comments please ! :D</p>

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<p>btw, I’m a bit unsure about this part:</p>

<p>'and as we were having tea(actually it was chai), ’ was thinking id maybe change it to just ‘and as we were having chai’ …</p>

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<p>I like that you’ve tried to keep it breezy and conversational. That can work. At the end of the day though, I don’t feel like we’ve learned anything specific about you that would knock Swarthmore’s socks off or anything specific about Swarthmore that is lighting your fire. I don’t know, but I suspect that a transer application is expected to be even more specific than a first-time app. If the course catalog kept you up all night, maybe mention a course or two and tie into your personal educational goals and how the Swarthmore offerings would meet your needs in a way your present school can’t. Give the a reason for a) transfering and b) transfering to Swarthmore.</p>

<p>One word to the wise: I think probably the three things I could least imagine being a successful pitch in a Swarthmore application would be: </p>

<p>a) a story about you and your friends taunting gays
b) membership in the Ku Klux Klan
c) owning a $700 pair of jeans</p>

<p>The only way I could conceive of a mentioning $700 jeans in a Swarthmore essay would be if you took them off and cut them into bandages while volunteering to help the sick and needy after a natural disaster!</p>

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<p>needs more meat. personally find the joking references to charisma and handsomeness a little well silly. and I agree that you need to specify what about Swarthmore, even what about its website excited you…classes, professors, majors, school mission, etc. as well as what you bring to Swarthmore.</p>

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<p>A good rule of thumb–if you can replace “Swarthmore” with any other college name, and it still works, then it’s not specific enough! And ID is absolutely correct about the $700 jean reference.</p>

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<p>I like how you tried to put in some character into the essay, but you never really gave many reasons why you liked it. You should work harder to make more of a connection of why Swarthmore appeals to you. Just tell them. Quite frankly, the members of the admissions committee probably don’t care about your $500 jeans.</p>

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<p>ok great comments :smiley:
i just wrote that last night in about 30 mins or so, thats why i wanted comments :slight_smile: gonna rewrite some parts ,will try to keep it breezy, because thats what i want to do with it, but ill def include some stuff about the courses and etc! :slight_smile: also haha, what i meant with the jeans reference was that i may deviate from the norm and sometimes i do some stupid stuff, like buying jeans for that much, for which i got grounded, or wearing shorts in winter :)</p>

<p>but thanks! and any more comments would be appreciated! :smiley: now im off to school, got a bio lab and a bio test! :stuck_out_tongue: then its back home to finish the essays so i can mail em 2morrow! :)</p>

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<p>dude, you are doomed. just one comment. there’s a time and place to be breezy, like when hitting on a freshman at sharples, not really convinced breezy is cool for such a serious endeavor, but what do i know, i’m a wiseass.</p>

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<p>hehe :stuck_out_tongue:
well honestly, the admissions process there is so selective anyways, i doubt id get in from my current university(i came here cause its hawaii, kinda regret it now cause i had awesome grades in HS, oh well :p) and not even a 4.0… i just figured i might aswell go for it cause its fun :slight_smile: its not my first choice, and i know ill get into a few schools that are not ‘as good’ as swarth, but that fit me better :slight_smile: so if i dont get in, i wont be sad at all really, but if i do, then it would be cool, and then maybe id rethink my selections :)</p>

<p>oh, and i changed A LOT of it for the final one that i sent :slight_smile:
took away the critisized(sp?) jeans part, and i fit in a lot more things about why i did want to go, + made them very specific to swarth :slight_smile: </p>

<p>anyway, we’ll see :P</p>