We went to both parents’ weekends for freshman year only. Why? Same reason we moved them in - it felt like a rite of passage for us to see them all settled in, and taking us around “their” campus (esp poignant with S). However, neither kid was in any kind of performing group. The organized activities were only of modest interest - we spent most of the time just hanging out, going into town, taking friends out for dinner, etc.
We are going to Freshman Parent’s weekend at D2’s school, Cornell. My husband’s brother went there some 25 years ago and has only been back once, so he and his wife are meeting us there from Texas. D2 is looking forward to having us come, although I think she has some club obligations that weekend. We will see as much of her as we can, but we are looking forward to taking in such a beautiful campus in the fall, and watching my brother-in-law’s amazement on how the place has changed over the years and how some of it has stayed the same.
Personally, I would rather visit w/ DS when it wasn’t so crazy, however, it is just too far and too expensive. Won’t see him again until Xmas break, and won’t be on campus until move out at end of year.
He as very well aware of the limitations of attending a school so far away and had insisted he was ok with that.
So far, his roommates have included him in activities if their families were on campus for anything, which is very nice. If not, he is the type of kid who is perfectly happy with his own company.
It was a great opportunity for him,but it did come w/ sacrifices as well; stuff like this is part of it.
We went freshman year for all 3 kids with grandparents in tow. We liked seeing them settled and they liked showing off their new “homes”. We did attend the football games but skipped most of the other planned events and did our own thing. The kids each took a long nap in the quiet of our hotel! Subsequent years we would visit weekends other than PW.
I agree with @Pizzagirl 's reasoning — a rite of passage.
You might want to read this recent thread as well: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1811228-parents-weekend-for-freshman-whos-going-p1.html
As for us…our kids go to small LAC’s and they have lots of informational sessions, tours, etc. As well as nice meal opportunities to socialize and meet other parents. Also, we get to sit in on classes if we want (we really enjoyed my D’s calculus class). I’m particularly looking forward to my son’s first parent weekend, because they have some tradition of a parent vs. student competition. Sounds like fun! (He’s a frosh, so I haven’t actually experienced it yet). Our weekends are in February so it will be a while yet for us.
Lots of different experiences and perspectives here…so many variables…but for us, it’s worth going–at least the first time.
UCLA’s parents’ weekend is wild! The place is really packed. It is difficult to get around the school and Westwood. It is usually hot or very hot temperature-wise. And, we are very thankful that we went freshman year. We decided to skip all the scheduled events and just had a family day after we realized that our kid really wanted to get away from the campus and just hang out. So after we visited for a few moments in our kid’s dorm room and had a short walk around the campus, we left the area and went shopping, and had a wonderful leisurely and long lunch. Had lots of bonding time. Our kid had a ton to say about their first month of school, and just needed us to listen. It was a lovely weekend! Since that time, usually our child opts to visit us/get away from campus that weekend, and we’ve not gone to another one.
We left it up to our kids to decide if they wanted us to come. In both cases we did the school sponsored activities for freshman year. I think both kids were happy to have us come so they could show off “their school” to us. For soph. and junior year parent’s day we took them out for lunch or dinner (and invited some good friends whose parent’s didn’t come) but we didn’t go to any school-activities. By senior year both kids said they were busy and asked us not to come so we didn’t. Both of our kids went to college within 2 hours so it was do-able for us.
IMO the bottom line is if you can make it, listen to what your kids want and try to accommodate their (reasonable) wishes.
We just went to parents weekend. We skipped all the organized events. We bummed around campus a bit and went to the football game. We took our daughter out to eat and visited a couple fun areas in the town. We went because my daughter had been away from home for a month. She isn’t planning to come home until the end of October. We wanted to make sure we split it up in case she became homesick - which really doesn’t seem to be an issue. She was glad to see us and we met a few of her new friends. It was great for us to see how happy she is there and how she made a great college choice. I doubt we’ll go to it again, but I’m glad we went to this first one.
My son graduated from UCLA in 2014. We live about 40 miles from UCLA. So for me it was easy. I went to the Friday program every year. It was really fun! You go to some classes specifically designed for parents. Some of the classes were in my kid’s subject area, and some were completely different. It learned about Jazz, Opera, Stem Cell research, adjusting to the empty nest and a few other subjects. You can learn about study-abroad, and various other things. My son would come and hang out with me for the meals (we had breakfast, lunch and dinner outside on the grass outside of Royce Hall). During dinner the band came and they had a DJ which was fun. It was fun to see my son, but since there were other activities going on he could also do his own thing. I skipped the game, because I had plans to go to another game during the season. But I can vouch that UCLA football games are a lot of fun and I imagine the tailgate that they do is pretty fun too. I did go back for breakfast one Sunday to take the tour of the newly opened Pauley Pavilion, but the other two years I just went on Friday. If your son or daughter is in Greek Life I feel like on Sunday a lot of the houses do something for the parents.
My older daughter went to SDSU. We went to Parent Weekend the first year, but after that we would just go down at some other time, take her out to eat, take her shopping and maybe attend some sort of sporting event (usually baseball or basketball).
My younger son is a junior at UC Berkeley. We went to Parent Weekend his freshmen year. We had a very good time. Subsequent years we have been up to visit, but not on Parents Weekend (We have been up twice for the UCLA/Cal basketball game and went earlier this month with our daughter for the SDSUvsCal football game.
What I like about Parents Weekend is that you get a good feeling about the school, and their are enough activities that, if your kid is busy, you are kept occupied. I also like seeing my kids in their “natural habitat”. And after a few weeks of them being away it is nice to see that they are “alive and well”.
Freshman year for,parents was well organized, with large lecture, smaller groups, full explanations, meeting the Deans, best ever. Felt I wa slips tended to, made connections, and several years later, proved advantageous. I had lots of feelings about orientation activities scheduled on Yon Kippur, even if 10% of campus, and the Dens listened and learned from me. How much more can one parent expect?
I went to Parents weekend at the LACs my Ds attended. At one, the roomies, and their visiting parents all went out to dinner. It was great to meet the kids, and as D has maintained a friendship with that original roommate, and visited them out of state, I have long appreciated that dinner meet up. At times I enjoyed attending a class or two, meeting friends, and walking the campuses which tend to be beautiful in the fall. Seeing the setting, meeting the friends and some of the professors gives depth to the follow up conversations.
One other thing – I went to school 1600 miles away from home, before the days of relatively cheap airfare. My parents both worked and I had a younger sister at home so with all things considered, they were never able to make it to parents weekend. It seemed like all my friends had their parents there, freshman and otherwise. My roommates parents always asked me to dinner, but I do remember feeling a bit lonely that weekend. Not only because it seemed like I was the only one whose parents weren’t there but also because all my friends were out and about with their families and there was nobody to casually hang out with that weekend.
This was at a smaller school though. It would probably be different at a larger campus, especially one where parents’ weekend was only for freshmen.
To show support, to see them, take them/friends out to dinner, to be able to see the campus from their perspective…up until now it was us sort of leading when doing campus visits and move ins. Now they can show us where they go and classrooms. Also with my older one we got to tour the nature preserve on campus. We only did parent’s day Freshman year.