<p>I’m kinda skeptical about my why upenn essay. It sounded more like a history of how I came across Upenn than why is upenn best for me, and it’s informal. It sounds more like a narrative with sarcastic commentaries. Is this bad for the Why Upenn essay? Can someone look at my essay and check if I’m not pushing the borders?</p>
<p>i'll read it, though i'm probably not the best man for the job.</p>
<p>I'll look at it, too, though I've only been critiquing personal statements so far...</p>
<p>spazallan, I think the idea of it being a narrative is a fine idea. Are your sarcastic-seeming comments rhetoric? Did you intend on being sarcastic or did it just end up seeming that way?</p>
<p>By the way, are you applying ED?</p>
<p>if im applying to wharton, do i just write why i want to go to wharton? while just mention something like the diversity of upenn attracts me blah blah blah.</p>
<p>most people on this board i think feel you should focus on Penn in the essay. I would think you could talk about mostly wharton, say 65/35-ish, idk.</p>
<p>i can read it if you still need someone</p>
<p>I'd love to read it..I'm pretty unbiased, but to me, sarcasm might not be the best route to take with it, but feel free to send it to me</p>
<p>Krabble, I'm applying ED like you. As for the sarcasm, it seemed sarcastic to me, but it may not seem like that to other people. I asked my friend today and he didn't see the sarcasm in there, so I don't know. I have some funny remarks in there though, which may or may not be sarcastic. Is it ok to be funny in the Why Upenn essay? And also, I mentioned another university in the essay, for illustration reasons, is that ok? I'm editing it as we speak, and I'll probably PM you guys later.</p>
<p>I don't think it's much of a problem to have a little bit of sarcasm in the essay. You've probably read it multiple times by now, and when adcoms get a look at it, they're not going to overanalyze or be as critical about any sense of sarcasm anyway. Regarding the mentioning of the other university, is it completely necessary to have it in your essay? Is there anyway to change it? Try to illustrate your idea without the use of another university, but I don't know for sure how adcoms look at it. Maybe if you were stating reasons as to why that particular university is not for you, then I think it'll be okay. You may want second opinions on this though! Good luck</p>
<p>Will someone read my essay?</p>
<p>Email me at <a href="mailto:macmaster112@comcast.net">macmaster112@comcast.net</a></p>
<p>i'll read it if u still want someone to, i'm not sure how much help i'll be lol but i've already had both my essays looked at by my english teacher and guidance counselor so i can tell u if u made any of the same mistakes i did</p>
<p>just send it to me at <a href="mailto:chelou@comcast.net">chelou@comcast.net</a></p>
<p>One piece of advice I would give is to think of the essays as a package. If you already did a humorous one for the personal statement, then show your more serious side or vice versa, for example. Or if you haven't written something about yourself elsewhere, you can work it into this essay.</p>
<p>What is the personal statement exactly? Is that an essay completely separate from the two that Penn requires? Or is it one of the three that we choose? I understand that we can send personal statements to other schools as well. Is it bad that I won't be sending in a personal statement?</p>
<p>personal statement? huh?</p>
<p>I meant the other main essay, for example, pg. 217 autobiography.</p>
<p>also, I wonder how much weight should be on what Penn will do for me, vs. what I can bring to Penn? Almost done with mine, I hope it's not too much what I like about Penn at the expense of the other way around.</p>