<p>GFG, I think you and I are saying the same thing. Your daughter was near the top, but not at the top, of the hierarchy, and so experienced some nastiness. Marybee explained it well. </p>
<p>I believe that as a result of social media the “under the radar” kids may be more miserable than we think. Even a decade ago a kid could find a small group of friends and be generally happy within that group even if they were not a part of the larger high school social scene. But these days, between twitter and facebook, kids are aware of every single event they aren’t invited to or aren’t included in. It can make any kid feel left out.</p>
<p>I thought the article was enlightening. It made me think of elderly people who flirt even in old age. Maybe they still see themselves as sexy teens.</p>
<p>Not so many years ago, you could pick up and move to a place where no one knows you, and you could reinvent yourself, keeping the old high school labels secret. It is a lot harder to do that now.</p>
<p>^ Reminds me of the old joke: Every time one of us old people looks in the mirror, the young person inside of us starts wondering “What the hell happened?”</p>
<p>How old would you think you were, if you didn’t know your age? I mostly feel like I am still in my early thirties and growing up as the youngest of a large family keeps me feeling like most people are older than me. I am happy about that.</p>
<p>In high school I was president of the Science Club. That fact alone should tell you everything you need to know to about my social standing and which stereotype I fell into.</p>
<p>I was a cheerleader, so I did not get past the first page of the article.</p>
<p>However, it seems to me that the people who never leave the town where they grew up seem to stick to some high school behaviors more than others. I am basing that on my very tiny neighborhood.</p>
<p>I agree with eastcoastcrazy about the social media. My college senior daughter told me this weekend that she will be closing her FB account because it just makes her lonely. Before FB, she did not feel lonely and was happy to read and do other activities she enjoyed, but FB makes her feel left out. The worst part is that if she were invited to parties, she would probably opt out most of the time.</p>
<p>If I didn’t know my true age, I’d say I feel that I’m in my mid to late 30’s–old enough to feel grown up and settled, because major life decisions have been made, but young enough to feel there’s still time for newness and change. Regrettably, I am much older than that and suspect that not much change of the good kind is on the horizon.</p>
<p>Interesting article. And I tend to agree with much of it.
I’ve always thought there were emotional growth spurts all through life. Starts with terrible twos, terrific threes and goes from there.<br>
HS isn’t a good-time growth spurt normally (think terrible twos) (14-18) ( especially for parents!). I think it’s a HUGE growth spurt and peer pressure is tremendous. If you have an identity (often given to you whether you claim it or not) as brain or a beauty, a jock or nerd–you just get stuck in it whether you accept it for yourself or not. You have to wait for the next societal go-round of college to break out of that mold. Good reasons for private school and home schooling for many parents. And as for “beauty and brains”? I think the HS definitions give you one or the other–you don’t get both.
Another spurt college age (18-22) (much better here). Time to redefine yourself. And hopefully a new group that doesn’t have any pre-conceived notions.
And then 24-28 and older (maintenance sets in) I call it the “I need to get a life stage”. Or nest building–whatever. Work, family…“all in the same boat” stage.
Until that middle age crisis thing. Not going there!</p>