<p>So I attend this school this very preppy HS with alot of pretty girls and "confident" guys, and everyday I kinda feel like I'm ridiculed. For instance: When a chick walks by a normal guy, she is neutral, but when I walk by and maybe make eye contact, she grimaces very bitterly. I'm not ugly, fat, or anything, but I keep feelin like the guys at my school only like people they choose to like meaning they dont wanna meet new people and want to only hang out with those in their sport teams or knew since elem/mid school. </p>
<p>Ive heard that some people "drastically" change after HS, especially those so-called "popular," cranky kids who sound really cocky n all... So yeah... any thoughts on people changing after HS? And in what ways?</p>
<p>People are more open in college because they are largely in the same boat as you...new face with a lot more new faces. Best bet is to be social, but not be weird.</p>
<p>In my experience, people that were the total jerks in high school tend to go Greek. Now this is not to say that all Greeks are a--holes, I know that isn't true, but I have found that the majority of a--holes are Greek. But the good news is that even though this type of person is still around, it's sooooo much easier to avoid in college, esp. if you're at a medium+ sized school where you rarely see the same person twice unless you want to. And there are lots of people that will have been in the same situation as you in hs, and are looking to make new friends as well. I admit I was not exactly the coolest person in high school, and I had a hard time making friends because I'd gone to school with the same people for 6 years by the time I graduated. But college is a whole new ballpark and there are a ton of people from all over who don't know your past and that story about when you had a crush on whoever in 7th grade, or whatever. It's way more fun because you can really be yourself and not the person you were when you met all the people in your high school, which is the mold you're probably stuck in right now, in their eyes.</p>
<p>Your lack of success with girls will only grow increasingly apparent in college unless you get your act together. Maybe not in the first month or two (when freshman girls are fickle and easy) but after that. </p>
<p>You sound like you're hoping that people will post stories along the lines of "the hottest girls from high school become more open-minded and start liking average dorky guys who aren't obscenely confident." </p>
<p>Don't become one of those guys who blames girls and other guys for grievances he should have with himself.</p>
<p>I disagree with easy to some extent. I went to a small prep school where the guys were as cocky as they come, and the girls didn't really pay much attention to me. But outside of school things were much different, as you pick up on some of their cockiness.
Anyway, without changing my personality, my summer has been quite good so far.</p>
<p>zzzz everyone tries so hard to be popular. In high school, I was better friends with the biggest geeks in the school than i was with the kids who tried their best to hang out and be cool. My friends were pretty big *<strong><em>s you could say, I was different... but most of my friends went on to the military, one just graduated from Navy Seals actually. I was only an *</em></strong> to the kids who tried to look cool to my friends by picking on other people.</p>
<p>Uggh...I can't stand this needing-a-girl-to-validate-my-self-worth attitude. It's probably all in your head. I doubt girls are grimacing at you. Are you Asian? The reason I ask is because many Asian males on this board have VERY low self-esteem. For some reason that is beyond me, they feel that if they don't have a girlfriend, they are a loser. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Believe it or not, having a girlfriend or boyfriend is not a necessity for young people. Sure, you may enjoy the company of the opposite sex, but you can find camaraderie with friends and family who accept you for who you are.</p>
<p>You should attend a top school like Northwestern where supermodels are friends with nerds, and uptight gay conservative feminists are friends with the "jock"-iest of fratboys. Actually, there are supermodel nerds here and gay conservative feminist jock fratboys.</p>
<p>some of the "popular" people in middle school and high school just ended up getting pregnant and not going to college b/c they had to take care of a family or socialized too much and were too darn lazy. sometimes i'm kinda glad i was a loner in school.</p>
<p>"But outside of school things were much different, as you pick up on some of their cockiness.
Anyway, without changing my personality, my summer has been quite good so far."</p>
<p>Care to conciliate two ostensibly contradictory sentences? Sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it.</p>
<p>You can look at it that way if you want but then you're just arguing semantics. I still think that you can build confidence without changing who you are as a person, which is what I call personality.</p>
<p>Can you at least agree that even looking at confidence as a personality trait, changing that one personality trait isn't going to be enough to really be able to say that someone's personality has changed?</p>
<p>For the record though, I still think that who you are and how much confidence you have are not the same thing. The kid that loves playing videogames but was always afraid to ask others to play with him who goes to college and starts making friends that play the same game as him will gain the confidence to ask others to play with him but not change fundamentally as a person. It's what he always would have done but was afraid to.</p>
<p>Well if a person got more confident the person's personality has changed by the corresponding amount that has occurred in the confidence change. </p>
<p>"it's what he always would have done but was afraid to."</p>
<p>I'd say the loss of social fear would constitute a personality change. </p>
<p>Look, a change in personality doesn't have to be some grand sweeping shift from a polar opposite to another. </p>
<p>People also seem to a take a change in personality as some ignoble concession to conform. "Waaahhhh but I want to stay true to myself wahhhh"</p>
<p>The reason this discussion even started was that you told someone that it was contradictory to gain confidence and keep your personality, and the only reason you think that's contradictory is your inclusion of confidence in personality, which I disagree with. That's not something that either of us are going to convince the other on, though, so I don't see the point in debating this further.</p>
<p>But yeah, peoples personalities are going to change during college. Anyone who thinks otherwise is in for quite a surprise when they meet all of their highschool friends again. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just how things are.</p>
<p>"The reason this discussion even started was that you told someone that it was contradictory to gain confidence and keep your personality, and the only reason you think that's contradictory is your inclusion of confidence in personality, which I disagree with. That's not something that either of us are going to convince the other on, though, so I don't see the point in debating this further."</p>
<p>Right, but I thought it was sort of interesting how we broke it down differently.</p>