<p>Hey guys, I have a quick question about college in general compared to high school. I'm a junior in high school right now, and I have a very small group of friends I hang out with. Lately, I haven't even really been hanging out with anyone, only staying home and playing xbox by myself. I hate my life right now, because I can't seem to find a girlfriend or friends in general. Will college make me change? Also, I'm trying to convince my mother to let me go out of state so that i'll have more freedom but she doesn't like the idea. She wants me to go to a local technical college, which I HATE, because I don't want to get stuck going to school with the SAME people for 4 more years or whatever. Is going out of state hard? Wll it help me to be more sociable?</p>
<p>only if you WANT to be more sociable, otherwise, no, it won’t help you.</p>
<p>It won’t help you in general, but if there’s a specific reason why you can’t be social now that relates to the area you live in, then I guess it could help.</p>
<p>No, sorry. People don’t magically appear. You need to make the effort to be more sociable. Start with your roommate; even if you don’t like him, the worst start you can get off to is not going to things with your roommate because at the time, that’s all you have. Get out and meet people. Join things. All that clich</p>
<p>Join clubs. Join a frat? Say hi to people. Talk to your classmates. People will not magically flock to you (unless you’re good looking) and start up a conversation. I think being social is easy IMHO and that being shy only hinders you. Take a step at a time. 
Good luck!</p>
<p>College may provide more opportunities (people similar to you or with similar interests or there are simply more people) but you have to put in the effort to socialize. You would be better off doing this now then expecting a change in venue to do it for you.</p>
<p>Lol No.</p>
<p>For some reason, alot of kids coming out of HS have this skewed perception that in college everyone suddenly comes out of their shell and approach you to become friends (And don’t worry, I was one of these kids myself). If anything, HS is more like that because teachers and schools programs tend to put you into groups and other situations in which you’re almost forced to make friends with at somebody.</p>
<p>College isn’t like that. What they do is, they provide the opportunities (sometimes even more than HS) and its your responsibility to make yourself known and TALK. </p>
<p>It’s all good, though.</p>
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I am standing far away from being shy; yet I found it very hard to make out with fellow students. I have an excellent academic performance (18hrs; 4.0), and yet, I don’t have any friends whatsoever. Advice?</p>
<p>Nope. YOU have to be more outgoing and friendly to be more socialable.</p>
<p>Actually, you’ll prolly less social in college. You’re only in class with a group of people for 2 hours and nothing. Unless you take the incentive then nothing will happen.</p>
<p>like some of the people here already said, it will probably make u less social. it is totally up to you how social you want to be in college. its not like high school where you know everyone in your classes.</p>
<p>I wasn’t very social in high school. I think my social life is much better now, but that is because I got involved. As others have said, it really depends on if you want to become more social.</p>
<p>As for classes, since they are so large, I rarely meet people in them and meet people doing things outside of class.</p>
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In a nutshell, no. College will offer you the opportunity to become more social. Your college may even offer counseling and support groups for those that want to improve their social skills, since wanting to improve them is not uncommon. But it won’t make you into anything.</p>
<p>There is no secret pool of students that colleges draw from. Look at the people around you. Some of them are going off to college, and the same is true at high schools all across the country. That is where your fellow students will come from. People mature as they get older so they might not be as juvenile as they can be in HS, and going off to college offers the chance for a fresh start, but for someone that fundamentally lacks the desire or skills to interact with other people this does not magically fix itself in college.</p>
<p>I think that college is so much better for socializing and coming out of your shell than high school. Of course, you’ll have to put in some effort as well, but I’d say that it’s sooooo much easier to meet people in college than in high school. </p>
<p>High school is very cliquey compared to college (my high school at least), where there are many predefined groups that have formed over years. In general, it is pretty hard to get “in” with a different group. Also, it seems that people are less open to making friends in high school. People in high school tended to stick to their own tight circle of friends, while people in college are usually open to meeting new people and expanding their social circles. In college, you are free to define who you are, while in high school you are defined by who you were and what you did years ago. </p>
<p>I was sheltered and socially awkward for most of high school. I felt that I always had a reputation as one of those “quiet weird kids.” While I became more social and made a tight group of friends towards the end of high school, the overall environment of college has really helped me get out of my shell. I’ve made more friends in the span of a couple of months than I did for the last 4 years in high school. Plus, I feel like I have full control over defining my identity; I don’t feel like I’m constrained because of what I was years ago (the “weird kid” label in high school).</p>
<p>Go to a college where most people stay on campus on the weekends, and that has a decent 4 year graduation rate. Then it doesn’t matter if it is close to home or farther away. Others have given some good ideas on how to make friends in college… do stuff with your roommate and your dormmates as much as possible, join clubs/groups, and volunteer to help with events that require a lot of work (you will meet others by doing this). Join or form study groups, too. If there is some kind of organization on campus devoted to volunteering, that is a great place to meet people (I think it is an especially good place to meet girls). If there is a swing dance club, try that (there are usually more girls than guys there, so again…).</p>
<p>Introverts don’t morph into extroverts in college. But if you go in knowing that everyone is looking for a group of friends when they first get there, and put yourself out there as much as you can first semester, you can improve your social life. Also… don’t expect to develop deep, lifelong bonds your first semester. Be happy if you have people to eat with, someone to play cards with and order pizza with on a Friday night, and buddies who like to play xbox or go to the gym with you. Your friendships will deepen as your college years go on, but lots of students want that deep connection right away. Keep hanging out with people, and over time it should develop.</p>
<p>College will not make you more sociable. It is, however, a perfect scenario to start over and become the person you failed to be in hs. If you can afford it, go out of state and make the commitment to socialize more.</p>
<p>My scenario was pretty much the exact same as imsobored’s. I used to be really quiet/introverted up until my junior year in HS. I did make more friends then, but since I went to a small school, everybody pretty much had their defined “groups” to hang out with. So, as a result, I never really got a chance to hang out with anybody outside of school.</p>
<p>In college, however, people don’t know that I used to be quiet. I have made more friends since the beginning of my first semester than I have ever made before that. My RA even complimented me for being so outgoing yet studious, which is probably the best complement I’ve ever received.</p>
<p>It’s sort of funny because since returning home on break, my HS friends think I’ve changed a lot, when in reality I’ve been the same person, but now I’m just able to express myself for who I really am.</p>
<p>College gives you a second chance to reinvent yourself. If you want to be sociable, college is a great place to be. Although, I’ve noticed that the people who don’t want to be sociable in the first place become more antisocial, so go in with a positive attitude and you’ll do wonders.</p>
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<p>Same thing for me!</p>
<p>Right now is a good time to start. Anything you enjoy doing? Lighting/sound/building sets for the school play? Any clubs that interest you? Put a smile on, be nice to people and people will be friendly. Even in High School. </p>
<p>That said - in terms of deep friendships, that can be a little easier in college. In high school, homework tends to be done alone. In college, many people choose to do it with others, even if it is different classes. Late night discussions, roommates, shared interests tend to lead to deeper friendships. </p>
<p>Start now thinking about they kind of people you want to be around, and the kind of atmosphere you want. It might be as important as academic major when looking for a school and succeeding once you are there.</p>
<p>You do have the ability to reinvent yourself somewhat at college, but maybe more importantly you can choose an atmosphere that works well for you.</p>