<p>This is a question that has been asked by many before me, but the answer always seems to boil down to this: if you're passionate about academics and "weird," you'll fit in. I recently visited Reed, and met quite a few students, but they all came across as being either enthusiastic, passionate, and quirky, or (what I saw more often) overly relaxed, seemingly bored, and just the slightest bit condescending. Everything that I have read has said that Reedies are intellectual, nerdy, socially awkward, and nonconformist people, yet nobody seemed nerdy or socially awkward, and most students came across as seemingly lacking most all enthusiasm. I'm writing this because, as someone who is exceedingly socially awkward (meaning I am afraid of talking to others, equally afraid of not being able to make friends, and constantly worried about being a square peg in a round hole), I want to find a school where I feel comfortable talking to others and what's more important, feel included. At Reed, during the time I visited, I felt as though my awkwardness in groups and enthusiasm for all the things I'm interested in caused me to be somewhat of an outcast. Was my experience indicative of the people and social atmosphere of Reed? Will someone (me) who is socially awkward, nerdy (but not in the way that's currently cool), in love with biochemistry and twentieth century history and music and philosophy, intelligent, socially awkward, socially awkward, enthusiastic/excited about many things, and most importantly, unwilling to bend from who I am, be able to find friends, fit in, and enjoy life at Reed College? I thank you all for your responses!</p>
<p>Reed is a school that is made up of individuals. You will fit in and click with some, and not with others, just like anyplace else. Having visited Reed with my own (socially awkward!) kid and knowing a few Reed kids, to me it still seems like a school with a higher likelihood of “fit” than a lot of other schools. Did you stay overnight? Remember that they probably put their most outgoing students on as tour guides if you are judging from that.</p>
<p>I did stay overnight, and judging from that, I felt as though I didn’t fit in well. The dorm host was extremely outgoing, but some of the things he said and his mannerisms made me feel as though I was somehow intellectually inferior, and was someone he didn’t want to make the effort to talk with or include. That’s not to say my experience was all bad - I had an amazing time talking with some other prospies as well as Reedies (they were freshmen I believe) - but my student host made me feel so painfully awkward and inferior that I began to question whether Reed was right for me. </p>
<p>Initially I felt as though it was exactly what I was looking for, but more recently began coming across mixed reviews, some saying it’s amazing and easy to fit in, others saying that it’s hard to fit in, and if you don’t, you will be excluded and your experience will be terrible. My fear is that, although on paper I will fit in perfectly, in actuality I will be an outcast, and have an unpleasant experience like my overnight stay.</p>
<p>I forgot to include it in my initial post, but something I noticed that worried me was that nobody, and I mean nobody, that I saw/met at Reed seemed socially awkward in the slightest. Based on my experience there, Reedies seemed extremely self-confident and social, and in turn it felt as though they couldn’t relate to me. Is this a generally fair description? Are Reedies generally socially awkward, or is that just something people write online? I’ve already said this, but the schools that I’m applying to are all amazing academically, so the social factor plays a huge role in my decision, as I don’t want to find myself where I don’t belong.</p>
<p>You may fit in or you may not. That’s the case at every college in America (and the world). There’s nothing you can do to predict your social life one or two years from now. Chance may bring you together with people you like a lot. It may also keep you friendless and lonely. The fact your student host was a ■■■■■■■■■ doesn’t have any bearing on the people you might find at Reed when/if you come here. Stop freaking out.</p>
<p>I know a kid from my D’s graduating class who is now a sophomore there who defines “socially awkward”. You must not have met him. 
Nice kid, I like him, have known him since he was 5, but he is s.a. for sure. And forget your host for a moment. What about other students you met? And what about other colleges you have visited – better fit or worse than Reed IF YOU IGNORE YOUR HOST?</p>
<p>Also… you are not deciding right now anyway. Assuming you are a senior, apply to several schools that might be good for you and see where you are accepted. If at all possible, plan visits again to your top 2 or 3 choices in April. Stay overnight (again) and see how that goes.</p>
<p>Part of being socially awkward is overanalyzing how other people act toward you. You might be over-reacting to one person’s behavior that you didn’t like at Reed, or even reading him wrong. Take that into consideration as well.</p>
<p>My socially awkward son went to UChicago but he would have fit in well at Reed, my alma mater. In some ways he’s still socially awkward, but he’s managed quite well to establish an interesting career and a good social life because he learned things in college and he followed his interests and let them guide him to interesting job and career opportunities.</p>
<p>Based on my experience and observation, in college you find people with common interests, whether because you frequently interact a lot with them in class/labs/dorms/library or because you take up activities (music, hiking, frisbee, gaming, or whatever) and meet people with similar interests. </p>
<p>I agree with the comment above that you shouldn’t freak out about social interactions. IMHO you should think more about the programs, courses of study, faculty, and opportunities to learn both in and out of class. (Most of it will happen out of class, since there are 168 hours in a week and you will only be in class 15-20 hours, depending on lab time.)</p>
<p>My socially awkward son is happy at Reed. </p>
<p>This socially awkward went to Reed many years ago (that’s my 1974 pic) and would go again if I could. </p>
<p>Oberlin might be a great fit for you!</p>
<p>I’m a current Reed sophomore… (I realize it’s been a while since you posted this, I hope you see it). Reed’s nonconformism/quirkiness comes in a very wide variety of flavors, many of which do not seem (on the surface) to be exceedingly weird. </p>
<p>On outgoing Reedies – about 2/3 of Reedies identify as introverts. That being said, we are pretty social/confident among our own friends, once we get to know them. I regularly interact with maybe 40 people in my on-campus job and classes, and have 3 close friends; I am fairly comfortable around this group. To an outsider, I’m sure I would seem quite outgoing and self-confident, but that’s totally not true of me around strangers. Also, most Reedies feel really nostalgic when they see prospies – I see myself in every nervous prospie I see on campus, and this makes it really easy/not awkward to strike up a conversation.</p>
<p>Of course, it’s hard to know until you find yourself at a school, but I think you would certainly be able to find friends and fit in at Reed. Reed has many subcultures, and nobody identifies with all of them – I think most people find some place where they feel comfortable, though. </p>
<p>What do you guys mean by socially awkward? Also, are there any international students that don’t stick to the international students group?</p>
<p>There are many versions of socially awkward. When I first meet people, I can be completely overwhelmed and unable to talk at all, or put on a mask of fake confidence and talk too much and too loudly. If I can’t figure out how to make small talk in the first 30 seconds with someone, it typically goes downhill. </p>
<p>I have a sibling who also goes to Reed, he sometimes just hides from people he’s afraid of (for example, he’ll try going in the vicinity of his adviser’s office for days. He only works up the courage to actually do so when there’s literally no other choice.). </p>
<p>My friends are often shy, and have difficulty talking to or working with people they don’t already know. It’s kind of hard to describe socially awkward, since people are so awkward in different ways (just the way some people talk is sometimes awkward.)</p>
<p>Anyways, all the international students I know who I can think of typically hang out with an “intenational students group.” From what I’ve seen, international students (like any other) are more likely to stick with people in their dorm, major, or other group. They might have a couple of other international friends, but don’t exclusively associate with internationals. The one exception I’ve seen is the language scholars – but they aren’t exactly normal students. That said, I’m not in that group and so only have an outsider’s insight. </p>
<p>*I meant typically DON’T hang out with an international students group. </p>
<p>Wow ! that actually was a very good explanation. I was wondering if this school is a good fit for me and this really helped.</p>