<p>Specifically about the social scene at Reed.
I don't really consider myself to be a 'quirky' person, and I am just wondering if anybody is nervous about not fitting in with a bunch of people who claim to not fit in anywhere else...</p>
<p>Oh, don't worry! My Reedie is a little eccentric, but also was relatively liked in high school. He didn't "not fit in", he just didn't fit in <em>as well</em> as he did at Reed. (In high school his classmates indulged his intellectualism and thought him amusingly odd because of it. It's not a "charming eccentricity" to be intellectual at Reed.) It's not that you have to be a friendless quirky mess to do okay at Reed -- it's that the student body is elastic enough to accept a lot.</p>
<p>As far as we can tell, our Reed junior is mostly :) normal, and she says the people at Reed are mostly normal; some are indeed a bit eccentric. If you can, sign up for one of the freshman orientation outings; it will help you make friends quickly. (As a plug, one thing you can do at Reed is take the Wilderness First Responder course; our D did and will be leading one of the outings.)</p>
<p>I completely understand where you're coming from. I was really not looking forward to the social scene at Reed, either.</p>
<p>There are more hipsters and hippies here than elsewhere, for sure. People on campus are generally stranger than those you might see elsewhere, and in many cases, social skills are visibly lacking.</p>
<p>Having said that, you will find people. People like you, like me. I promise. I'm actually quite surprised at what a variety of social cultures there are at such a small school. There are a large number of 'weird' looking and acting people, and they're the first thing you notice, but there are a lot of socially adjusted kids here, too.</p>
<p>I have to disagree with vossron, though, and strongly advise you NOT to go on an orientation outing. A lot of the freshman class, for whatever reason, feels the need to outweird / outsmart each other during the first few weeks of school (if you've seen the facebook group, you know what I mean). If you go on an outing trip, you're going to catch your classmates at the very peak of their insecure toolness, when they're trying to prove to each other how unique and smart and wonderful they are. Couple this with the fact that - since you're worried about the social scene at Reed - you probably have good friends at home, the orientation trip may just turn into a week of you hating everyone and wishing you hadn't left your dear good friends early. I didn't go on a trip (I had already decided that I was going to loathe 99% of the college) but a number of my friends had the trip experience that I described. You'll meet people once school starts.</p>
<p>On a related note, don't let the first week or so scare you. I went to a lot of high school and frat parties when I was in high school, and on my first night here the party they took me to scared the crap out of me. It was just... really different. Just be aware that as you poke around and meet people more options will open up for you.</p>
<p>Also, I poster stalked you and saw you're already considering transferring. I was, too. I'll give you a piece of unsolicited advice - come in with as open a mind as possible. You won't be completely objective (and I wasn't, either), but give the school a fair chance. Live as if Reed was your four year home. Don't look or think about transferring until a few weeks into second semester. This way, you'll be forced to try and work around any social problems that arise, rather than reverting to 'I'll just transfer.' </p>
<p>The only exception to this is in your academics - make sure that you do excellently in your classes first semester so that transferring is an option if you so desire (a high 3 or 4. at Reed is respected enough to get you into all reasonable transfer schools).</p>
<p>In summary: your concern is a legitimate one to have now, but not after you spend some time here.</p>
<p>My Daughter is at Reed. She is going to be a sophomore next year. She is not eccentric in the slightest and was well adjusted in high school with her peers. She was very conservative and very mainstream.</p>
<p>When she started at Reed, she was a bit naive. She had heard some tidbits of the social scene but, I advised her to make her own decision. </p>
<p>I agree with tennisdude about the first few weeks. I got the "call" or rather "text" from my daughter stating that "I don't fit in mom". </p>
<p>For her the problem stemmed from fear of drugs the first few weeks. The orientation week is basically a week of parties. It is important to go because of the other activities but, be aware of the the culture shock of this week. She felt very out of place. She was hard pressed to find anyone not partaking in drugs that week. Here is the deal, I told her that this was a bunch of freshman who were all pushing their parameters in a world where mommy and daddy were not around. That once school started and once some upper class came around that things would settle down. </p>
<p>In fact they did. I am not saying that there still isn't drug use happening but, not at the open in your face way it was orientation week. I do have to put in a disclaimer here because there are times such as Renn Fayre that are very open with regard to this type of attitude however, the premise is different and the celebration is based upon the senior turning in their hard earned thesis'. </p>
<p>I must say the pictures I saw and the time she described was very crazy but, I trust her judgement and she shares everything with me. We just have that type of relationship. </p>
<p>Bottom line is that the social scene at first can be hard to get your arm around. The first few months were love it one day, don't love it the next day.</p>
<p>I myself went to UCLA and I must say that I had the same feeling there. I would imagine all places are like this. The rewards come from sticking it out and finding yourself and your place. Also knowing that others are in the same boat you are. My daughter didn't do the outings that tennisdude describes. I can imagine the insecurities and posturing that could happen and did happen the first few months at Reed or for that matter probably at any school. </p>
<p>Understand at Reed, from what my daughter tells me, the legend and rumors and promoted to keep the mystery alive and keep the strong attending. It is a sort of Darwinian concept. </p>
<p>As far as changes in my daughter since she has been home now a few weeks. I would say she is more accountable for her actions. The "honor principle' at Reed is taken real seriously and is a code that she now lives by in every thing. She talks of this a lot. She is prideful of this and prideful of Reed. She also is so well rounded academically and has grown enormously intellectually. She was already a socratic type thinker but, nothing like she is now. </p>
<p>A few weeks ago she visited home with 4 Reed friends. 3 guys and I girl. They all stayed over and I got to know them. They came from all walks of life and socioeconomic backgrounds. We played trivial pursuit and I got to see firsthand the thinkers they all are and how they relish their thoughts. Funny thing is I brought out the trivial pursuit pop culture edition and they laughed because they wanted the real intellectual version not some tame version.</p>
<p>At the end of our visit. I was so impressed and mostly I must say they were no different then her IB friends in high school. The difference here was a commonality and a closeness unlike a person would derive from a big school such as UCLA was for me. </p>
<p>I envy that my daughter has this experience and I had the big school experience. Yes my degree is valuable and impressive but, when we tell people she is at Reed their jaws drop with awe at the impressive nature of this school. Say what you want, Reed is and is continuing to be a well known academic powerhouse in the college world. </p>
<p>So, Has my daughter changed from the very conservative and mainstream kid she was in high school? Yes and no. Yes she is less conservative. This was to be expected. One of the ideas that Reed strongly promotes (and was spoken of from Colin Diver at the convocation) is "question your thoughts everyday, question your opinions, question your facts, question, question, question" </p>
<p>She is still pretty much the same but, more confident and more ambitious if that is even possible. She is bored with some of her old friends in that they are not stimulating her mind anymore. That is the main difference I see other then that she is kinder.</p>
<p>One last note, everything she has tried to do or applied for has come easily from the mere fact she attends Reed. Reed carries huge weight and in a sort of fun way.</p>
<p>I disagree with tennisdude. Perhaps some people have negative experiences on their orientation trips, but I had a wonderful experience, and I have never heard otherwise from anyone. I met some of my closest friends on my o-week backpacking trip, some of whom I'm still close with almost 3 years later. It was wonderful to start out my freshman year with great friends with whom I had already had fun and memorable experiences. I did not experience any of the "outweirding" or "outsmarting" that tennisdude describes on my trip. But even if I had, I think you are just as likely to experience that on campus during or after o-week. Trying to avoid it is not worth missing an amazing trip on which you could meet some potentially wonderful friends with whom to enjoy the beginning of your Reed experience.</p>
<p>I go back a loooong way, and I would also encourage anyone entering Reed to take part in the O-week bonding/communing experience. In my day, I checked into campus, after arriving (in my case) by train from L.A., and the next morning headed off to Camp Westwind on the Oregon coast. Three days of stories, music, hiking, hanging out -- and reading and discussing J. S. Mill's "On Liberty -- was a great way to meet people (including upper classmen) and learn about the college. So many other colleges have orientations that amount to waiting in one line, then another line, being tested, registering for classes, and other bureaucratic matters, all on campus. Reed has always done things differently, and I think better than most.</p>
<p>I think the first year- my D just did the in town things- even though she would have loved to have gone off campus ( money was really , really tight)
However the next year she was a mentor & they ran their own excursions I think & after that she was working in CUS helping everyone get set up.</p>
<p>O-week is a really nice time whether you are on or off campus. I think it is a great idea to have a transition time, a little time to take a breath.</p>