Pretty self-explanatory. I’m hoping to get into a more selective college, and while I haven’t been diagnosed professionally (self-diagnosed with major depressive disorder), I’m wondering how colleges will react if I put in that my sister was depressed, cut herself, got therapy and stopped, then relapsed. (I’m using it to explain why my French, World History H, and Drafting grades are so low - I’m a freshman).
In case you were curious, I’ve told my mother that I was pretty sure I was depressed and wanted to seek professional help, she replied that she didn’t think I was. So, honestly, while I want to seek help, it seems out of the question, and I want to keep it in the dark from colleges until I know for sure that it won’t hurt my chances
You're a freshman. Stop thinking about what college you want. Your interests and what you want from a college can and probably will change in the next THREE YEARS.
Nobody wants to hear all of those gory details...I can't imagine an admissions officer wanting to know that much about your sister's struggles.
IMO they'll be more forgiving if you actually get diagnosed (AND TREATED).
If you write about how YOU were depressed, then yes, it will hurt your chances. Schools nowadays are very scared of the stigma of having student suicides and depressed students, because it makes their school look too stressful and unfriendly. I believe I read an article a few weeks ago about MIT students that are depressed are actually afraid to seek mental help at the school’s clinic because they could be sent home at the drop of a hat; MIT doesn’t want any more student suicides. Long story short, don’t write about how you were depressed.
If you want to write about how your sister was depressed, and how that affected you…that should be fine, but I wouldn’t advise you to write your main common app essay on it- that essay should be about you! You could add that info in you “additional information” section and have your guidance counselor verify it by writing about it in his/her letter of rec.
Okay, so would any recommend any sort of treatment? Clearly my parents are not willing to seek help, especially after paying hundreds of dollars for treatment for my sister, but I really don’t want my chances to get hurt, no matter where I decide to go in the future. Also, I don’t want my parents to have to worry about me too much since they have enough of a burden on them already, but I also want to seek help in case something else happens.
Is there any tactful way to explain a family history to colleges? For the record, I’m Asian American with liberal parents. My sister identifies as ‘queer’ (LGBT rights, racism, and sexism is a frequent topic at our house), but I feel they are pretty conservative for the most part (grades and stuff), so I feel like my sister alone getting treatment was a huge upset for them. That’s also probably why my mother claimed to call for an appointment with someone, but clearly lied and never followed up.
Wow, TMI. Yes, it will not only affect your chances, but your ability to lead a productive life. If I were you, I’d seek help from your school, church, or local health agency. Be patient but focus not on college but rather on getting well enough to consider higher education when your illness is controlled or manageable, even if it’s years from now. Best of luck.
Come on, @IrisShadow, *“self-diagnosed with a major depressive disorder” . . . “to explain why” . . . “my grades are so low”/i sounds like an excuse for bad marks to me, and a truly feeble one at that. Now if you’re actually suffering with a legitimate mental disorder – identified by an appropriately trained and licensed psychiatrist – that’s an ENTIRELY separate matter; however, you’re a (perhaps) 13 or 14 year old high school freshman, not a mental health professional.
With this said – and MUCH more important – get some help immediately. As a first step, see your primary care physician or your GC, show them copy of this post, explain that you believe you’re suffering from major depression, and ask for their assistance and advice.
Do you have a pediatrician or family doctor who you have been seeing regularly? If so, the next time you meet with that person talk with that person about your concerns about your mental health, and get a referral. If you don’t have a regular doctor, talk with your guidance counselor at school, or with another trusted adult.
Given that your parents have experience with your sister, they may think that they know what depression looks like, and that may be why they think you don’t have it. But you really need a professional evaluation to make certain.
Well, I’m fairly positive that I have depression for reasons I’d rather not say. Does anyone have a way to approach someone and tell them without making it super awkward? I don’t quite know how I might handle a situation like this.
I do have a pediatrician, but we don’t visit them on a regular basis.
Go in to see your school counselor or call your pediatrician’s office yourself. Those are your best options. Please choose one and be persistent in telling someone who is a good listener and guide. We are a good community here on CC but we cannot replace real facetime with a professional.
I am sorry that you are going through this. I know it must be extremely hard.
You need to see a professional and get properly diagnosed. Tell your mom it’s urgent. Tell them explicitly and honestly what you are going through. It’s important to note though that you are NOT your diagnosis. I once met someone who summed herself up with “PTSD kid.” It took her ages to get better. Combat the symptoms, and then you will feel better. Labels are mostly only there for insurance purposes in regards to covering therapy.
You should not be focused on your college essays yet. What is critical right now is your health and your grades. Colleges will care much less on the reason behind the poor freshmen grades than on the amazing comeback your transcript can (and will) show.
Your possible depression won’t affect your admission chances in of itself…but its side effects (not doing well in school) may.
It is important that you get your mental health worked out…You have tried your parents, so next try your guidance counselor or the next time you talk to your regular doctor.
If you have asked your parents to allow you to seek mental health care and they are refusing, then you need to seek help on your own and elsewhere. I presume that is why you are posting here because you are asking for help. Do you have other reliable, trustworthy adults in your life from whom you can seek guidance and support? If yes, rely upon them. If not, you can go through school guidance or call your pediatrician on your own, or look for a local clinic by googling or calling a help line ( as a non emergency). Do take some steps as soon as you can. This is more important than your college essay topics for now.